My boyfriends mom has no job, so that means no money. My boy-friend gets paid every other weekend. She is always calling him for money and he gives it to her all the time.He never gives me any money for bills or house hold goods. I pay for everything(for 6 years I have been doing this-paying bills-etc.) When I ask for help he won't give me any money because my uncle died and left me a lot of money and he knows it. So he said I do not need any money from him because i have more money than him. What do I do?
2007-03-02 09:35:26 · 7 answers · asked by church k 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm really sorry about what's going on with you. your boyfriend isn't being fair to you, and his mother isn't being fair to him. and what really needs to happen, is his mother needs to get a job and support herself! and even though your boyfriend probably thinks he's helping his mom by giving her money, he's not. he's being an enabler. he's actually helping her do nothing for herself. maybe you could sit down with him and talk to him about the part he's playing in all this.
and he also needs to understand that he's being very unfair to you about paying bills, buying food, etc. just because your uncle left you some money doesn't mean that you want to use it all up trying to support yourself and him too! it's kind of like he's doing the same thing to you that his mother does to him.
your boyfriend needs to be more responsible for himself, and more concerned about you and your relationship together.
if he still doesn't think he's doing anything wrong after you have a good talk with him and explain to him what's going wrong, then it would probably be better for you if he just moved in with his mother! then they could battle it out by themselves.
you deserve to be treated better than this.
Best Wishes
2007-03-02 09:57:23 · answer #1 · answered by atiana 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and make out a list of the bills that he is responsible for. If you are living together, then make it a 50/50 split. If he refuses to pay his half - kick his sorry as out.
Although, I must say that this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all. If it were, you would be working together towards common goals. Obviously if his mother is in dire straits, he's going to help her out if he is able.
If you've been together for 6 years, I would think you have been dealing with this for a long time and probably should have brought this up a long time ago.
My wife and I have always split everything down the middle, or pretty close. There was a while where I was making a significant amount more than she was and it just went into the bank account. Bills were paid first and we each approve purchases with each other as a kind of checks and balances. In that regard, our financial relationship is very fair because we are both aware of what needs to happen and we are both working towards the same goals.
It sounds like he's taking advantage of you. Regardless of how you got the money or how much money you have, you didn't give birth to this guy and you are not responsible for taking care of him financially. That was his mom's responsibility and it sounds like she wasn't capable of it either.
Get away while the getting is good before you make some major purchase together and get left holding the tab.
2007-03-02 17:43:52 · answer #2 · answered by Jaywolves 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
CHurch it sounds like he is an A-Class moocher, and is taking advantage of your good nature and generosity. It is time he took some responsibility and started to pay his own share, and it's time you stopped letting him get away with this. It's time he grewq up and stopped seeing life as free ride. When you constantly pay all the bills and take care of all the household finances you are enabling him to keep using you.
I'd be giving him an ultimatum.. either split bills 50/50 or walk out the door and dont let it hit your **** on the way out, and keep walking.
You deserve better than this Church. You deserve someone who will love you and treat you with respect.. He is only there for what you can give him... Ditch him, or he will just keep on taking and taking.
It wont be easy for you, but I believe it is the right decision. My thoughts are with you Church.
Schmoozie.
2007-03-02 17:52:11 · answer #3 · answered by schmoo_withazing 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
kick him out! if he isn't paying his way to stay there, then tell him either you guys half all the bills of he gets out, chances are he isn't going to leave! As for his mother, he will always help her out, and she will always rely on his help, I;m sorry he's taking advantage of the fact that you inherited a lot of money, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't pay his share of things, It seems like you've tried talking to him about this, so i won't even suggest that. There isn't really anything else I can say that I know will help you out. All i can say is that I'm sorry he doesn't understand, and I really hope things get better for you!
2007-03-02 17:41:42 · answer #4 · answered by bluemoon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes... he does need to man-up, and you are the person who needs to tell him. Basically, you are supporting him so he can support his worthless mother. No mother sits on her butt and expects her son to support her. TWO people are using you!!!! Think about your uncle. Did he leave you that money so you could support two freeloaders ?? Take your check book and get the hell away from these two scavengers. Sweetie, you've invested six years in this dishonest scheme. You think the two of them don't know exactly what they are doing??? You are a meal ticket !!!Please.... call it quits.
2007-03-02 17:47:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump the momma's boy. After 6 years he still puts her needs ahead of yours?
2007-03-02 17:39:25 · answer #6 · answered by Caeli 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him to man up and be responsible.
2007-03-02 17:38:57 · answer #7 · answered by speed demon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋