What is this girl doing - should I bother with her?

Question

Why does this girl I like treat me well sometimes and be a complete bit*h to me other times. She has a fiesty personality with most people and is what I would call a bit of a bit*h. She acts all girly and flirty at times, like she is a little angel but she has a sting in her tail. Sometimes she really tests my patience. She has pushed my buttons so much the last few weeks that I am beginning to fight back and stand up for myself. Ironic thing is when I do this she gets interested in me and acts nice again. I let my guard down and wham - she acts like a bit*h again. I had a relationship with a girl like this before. She always used to annoy me and say "I hate you" but really she fancied me and we ended up getting together. I think this could be a similar situation. Thing is I am alot older now and bored with this behaviour. I'm 27, she is 29. She used to txt me all the time and invite me to stay with her, but not lately. I never accepted tho cos she had a boyfriend.

She has not got a boyfriend now though. But I am well fed up with her. I am a bit of a sensitive guy and I hate getting messed around. I worry about some of her personality traits. Sometimes she is too nice and somewhat fake giving people the completely wrong impression - she does this to guys and girls. I could write forever here about this - I hope you get the idea

Answer 1

Okay the reason that she acts nicer to you when you stand up to her is because she likes to see how far she can push you. i think she is trying to test you, but look at it like this. She is probably only acting this way because that is all she has known and she gets away with it. i think it sounds like she likes you on some level and she is putting you through all this because she wants to know how much you will take. i think the thing to do is to back away. Be a friend but keep your distance a bit. This will either make her face up to whether she has any feelings f or you - in which case she will approach you. Or, it will show that she is messing around with your feelings for whatever reason, but ultimately it is a lost cause.

Answer 2

She sounds interesting. I wouldn't mind playing with her, though she wouldn't be something I would consider as long term material.

It sounds like she is trying to get your attention by pissing you off - I lost count the times girls do this to me. If she does this often, it may mean she really likes you or that she is a real attention seeker. Whatever you do, do not give in to her and start praising her like a goddess - it will be the last thing you want.

What I suggest is act like the dominant one in the relationship. Be the one who remains calm and unmoved by whatever she does. If she says 'I hate you', say 'awww, I love you too'. If she says 'I never get enough attention from you', say 'awww, you think I am giving you too much attention, fine I'll cut t down'. If she says 'you are a ****', say 'meh' or 'ok'. What you are trying to do, is not to give her what she wants. It is when you give her what she wants that she starts getting [beep]-chy again. She may gossip around you or try spreading rumours about you, but the war is about who can stay cool the longest. Dismiss what she says as trivial and keep calm under all situations. But don't let the whole thing slide downhill, you wouldn't want to give her the wrong impression that ou are not interested, hint a little that you like her.

She won't be considered anything that you should commit to. After all, if she annoys you this muc, how would you stand her in the long run. Have fun with her while it lasts and break off with her when it seems like you both are sinking too deep.

Good luck

Answer 3

It sounds to me like she wants a guy who's willing to play along with her games all the time and constantly stand up to her. She's probably playing games to get your attention and wants your eyes on her all the time. You're probably better off without her, or at least not dating her. It would be really hard work in a relationship where you had to give out 100% of your attention all the time. I doubt any relationship would be stable either- especially from what her personality seems.

Answer 4

If you think you can put up with her behaviour, then stick with her and see what happens, but I think she will keep doing this. It seems to me that she wants you to pay attention to her but when you do get close, she treats you like crap. Not a very good start to any relationship, especially if she were to carry on like that in years to come...it would only cause major problems down the line. Have a chat with her and find out why she does it, ask her to stop, if she doesn't, then i think you will know where you stand.

Answer 5

...hmmm...she could be a complete b itch, jekyl and hyde type...or she is maybe very insecure/afraid/messed up...and just does not know how to behave...she could be being defensive and aggressive due to past hurts/trauma..and then trys to be nice to make up for it...I would sit down with her and tell her how you feel, without getting aggressive...and ask if there is anything that bothers her that shed like to tell you now or later...you must like her as you have not written her off completely and good on you!...Be understanding...see how it goes..she may be relieved that you care enough to want to know why she does this. I hope it turns out good for you!

Answer 6

You've answered it yourself my friend.She's messing with your head & she knows it.She can turn on the charm when she wants you back.This Jekyll & Hyde thing is like a spoilt kid.You're her own personal doormat.
A girl like this is never gonna be stable or mature enough for a proper relationship.Time to get out of there & find yourself someone normal & sane .

Answer 7

Is this girl a water sign? Like a Scorpio or a Pisces? It sounds like it. It also sounds like you are not compatible with her. Maybe you should move on to someone who isn't such a drama queen.

Answer 8

No,you should bother with her.You deserve a better one.But it's easy to say.My ex bg sometimes didn't treat me nicely and I still loved him,so..I know how you feel..but she really doesn't sound like a nice person,,,

Answer 9

even though you are a sensitive guy, you need to ALWAYS put your foot down in any relationship because you will get run over like a deer in headlights. relationships like that aren't worth the headache, so move on to someone who isn't going to trip on you when you are in sensitive mode.

Answer 10

find yoursely a nice uncomplicated girl, , who likes you, there are lots about, stop going for the hysterical, think 20 years on, oh no, you sound nice, so there you go, nobody needs that.