Trusting in a LDR and how to control jealousy?

Question

I've been in a LDR with this girl now for about 3 months. I'm crazy about her. I talk to her everyday and we are both crazy about each other. She has rejected a lot of other guys for me.Most of her friends are guys also because she says she doesn't connect with girls as well and I feel that's ok. After a party she slept over at, I asked her where she slept over but i was answered with "idk" because I wasn't asking the question directly. I didn't want to be seen as overly jealous. It appears she was probably sleeping in the same bed as some other guy, but I just feel that sleeping in the same bed as another guy or cuddling while watching a movie are reserved for couples or dancing. I've spent my money on plane tickets just to be with her even for a weekend but I don't think she's willing to do that, but she's willing to spend money on a ski trip for 2 days with a few friends.
Am I over examining everything and just being jealous, I want her to be herself but I'm having trouble. Help?

Answer 1

Being in LDRs are hard. And you have to have someone that is willing to give what you are, with the same amount as zeal as you do, otherwise this will be a difficult situation to manage.

What you've descibed of her behavior sounds like the typical things couples in LDRs deal with. It seems that you are willing to go the distance, and she seems like she is as well, aside from her ski trips, bed mates, and cuddle partners (no offense to her, but this is YOUR side of the story...we have to consider she has one as well).

I think you guys need to have a heart to heart about, and be as honest and upfront as possible. Let her know that you are willing to take the risk, but its only fair if she is up for doing the same.

I wish you guys the best of luck. I am in a similar situation, and find it difficult to deal with it too. So you're not alone, but make sure you at least plant the seeds of success since you guys are so crazy about each other.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

I don't think you are overreacting at all. A LDR takes two people trying hard to make it work. You shouldn't be the one who always has to travel to see her. It sounds as though she is taking you for granted.

I know you don't want to seem jealous or possessive, but she shouldn't answer your questions vaguely. She should be open and honest about what happens when you are not around. Communication and trust are the keys to any relationship. If she was sleeping in the same bed as another guy, you should have a problem with that, especially if you are exclusive. I would try talking to her about things, and if she doesn't listen or gets defensive, I wouldn't try having a serious relationship with her.