English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

my fella works abroad. We have been married a looong time I am on the wrong side of forty .kids have left home and am rather large lady ,but sometimes of an evening i have strange desires, like getting in a cab going to the nearest club and picking up a stranger just for good old fashioned raunchy sex i wouldn't as my conscience would play hell but other than people I know possibly seeing me (i would practice safe sex) the temptation is very very strong am I a raving nutter?

2007-03-02 08:45:17 · 33 answers · asked by seeker 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

33 answers

Your mind wanders into strange places when you have to endure a long distance relationship.

2007-03-02 08:48:18 · answer #1 · answered by Rene T 2 · 2 0

You are not a raving nutter..lol It sounds like to me you are feeling a little neglected. I know the temptation must be very strong.
I think everyone in a long term marriage or even relationship gets the "itch" I know I did, granted considerably much sooner in my marriage. I think you have to ask yourself what your fella means to you. Would he be hurt to find out you stepped out on him? And how would you feel the morning after? Is an affair worth losing your man? Some tough questions, but they need to be addressed. Have you considered investing in some toys? Fantasies can be a real turn on, and may satisfy the desire.
Good luck!

2007-03-02 08:52:45 · answer #2 · answered by aeonswife 2 · 0 0

You're not a nutter you're just in need of some loving! I would be exactly the same. Is there anyway your husband could find work here? Or you could go abroad? You said your kids are grown up so do you have anything holding you here?
Please don't pick up a stranger, they could be anyone, a murderer, a rapist... Don't risk your safety or your sexual health.
Talk to your husband and tell him how rotten and neglected you feel.
Good luck and take care

2007-03-06 06:11:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

There are steps you can take to actually build a strong, stable marriage and avoid divorce. Read here https://tr.im/yhrfu

Here are some key steps to apply to your marriage:

- Start by understanding and being informed.

You can never be too informed about tools, methods and studies about building successful marriages. Understand the risk factors like your age and maturity at marriage can determine how successful it will be, the anatomy of an affair and what you can do after infidelity. Understand the success factors like the personal and psychological circumstances that will influence your marriage, what are the tools and approaches available to you in dealing with conflict, and numerous other relevant data. All this information is readily available to you whether through self-help material, through a counselor, support group or other venues. In fact, we have made it our commitment to provide these to you in different formats to help you make the best marriage you can.

The thing is, remember, this is information is not available for you to begin hyper-psychoanalyzing your relationship, yourself and your partner. It's not a matter of spewing trivia for the sake of conversation ' information is there for you to ponder over and internalize to help you transform yourself and your marriage. That includes maturing to such a point that you become more competent in your knowledge but more prudent in approach.

2016-04-21 22:52:37 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

From a man's point of view?
1.He must trust you completely to be willing to work abroad
2.You must have agreed with him to go I'm assuming for the money
3.How would you feel in the morning , when you look into it?
4. Maybe the answer to your problems, and this is a Lil personal so don't slap my face ;} Regardless how you acquire the following items, get your bedroom in the mood with candle etc. whatever flips your light switch. Get a movie if your into that. And toys if your into that. Put it all into the bedroom then call your husband and tell him what your doing. who knows maybe he can play along. And the other thing is you'll both be happy in the morning, you'll be able to look at yourself in the mirror, you'll know your taking care of your husband too. And lastly you'll have some new tricks to show him when he comes home.

Hope this helps

2007-03-02 08:58:44 · answer #5 · answered by walker9842 4 · 0 0

It depends. Some people find marriage to be very sacred, while others are open to letting there partners explore other avenues sexually. Have you discussed this with your husband? Is he into allowing an open marriage.You never know, he might be thinking the same thing but to worried to bring it up. Instead of just popping off with "hey honey....what do you think about swinging", start off with a hypothetical question about fantasies and see what he says. If it comes around to that subject, discuss it seriously and see what comes of it. Size makes not matter to some men and there are actually clubs where you will find "chubby chasers", some men love a good handle to hold onto, if you know what I mean! Good luck!

2007-03-02 08:51:22 · answer #6 · answered by Poker_Chick 2 · 0 0

The truth is the light and will eventually come to the light.
Yes, marriage is for better or worse if you are committed and you are not. You know that is why people make up there own vows to God about marriage. I promise to love you as long as you do not go abroad, etc. He is probably cheating on you too. The only save sex is no sex, or sex with only one man. The 2 people need to decide on how to keep it interesting.

God Be With you.

2007-03-02 08:53:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/yxS7o

2015-01-29 18:37:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Obviously, you and your husband aren't close enough mentally and emotionally. You're not a "raving nutter," but I think the two of you really need to talk about your expectations for marriage before you go around gettin' poked by strangers.

2007-03-02 08:48:36 · answer #9 · answered by It's Me 5 · 0 0

I dont think you are crazy for having these feelings. Especially after being married for such a long time and having your husband work so far away. You should be comfortable to talk to your husband about how you are feeling. He may feel the same way. Discuss it with him, or casually mention to him your desires and see how he responds. Maybe he'll go for it? I would not recommend lying to him about it though. That'll make things worse for everyone involved.

2007-03-02 08:51:57 · answer #10 · answered by acweyman0906 2 · 0 0

It sounds like you and your husband need to have a serious talk.

You have needs.
He has needs.

Is marriage really for better or for worse? You better believe. Why else get into marriage if you didn't mean it? Why would have given birth to his children and been his loving wife?

TALK TO HIM.

Don't just go out and ruin your trust because you're horny. Grab some porn, a dildo, and go to town. You don't need someone else to satisfy you ALL the time.

2007-03-02 08:49:26 · answer #11 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0 0

fedest.com, questions and answers