I was with my husband for 13 years and it all went a bit Pete Tong. We argued all the time, he didn't make the effort etc. I ended up leaving him for someone at work 2 1/2 years ago. I now live with this new guy. He has his own house - which i now own with him and his own business. I have an extremely well paid job so we both have things to offer each other - materially. However, i don't feel fulflled. We don't go out, we don't have lots of friends, we don't do anything much (like i used to do in my old life). We seem to irritate each other and our sex life has gone from 5 times a week to - if we're lucky - 5 times a month! We argue quite a lot and he says it's because i want things all the time. He speaks to me in not a nice way sometimes - the same way he speaks to everyone else around him - disrespectfully. What should i do?
2007-03-02 08:38:09 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
okay, stop, breathe deep and listen (well, read). What you are trying to imply is that it's not financial woes that have you fighting all the time, right? Good, you just ruled out one reason. Now, i want you to try and identify what, when and where exaxctly you get mad. Was this something that happened all of a sudden, or has this been getting bigger and bigger? Have you both had time togehter, just the 2 of you? Do you clearly remember what attracted him to you and has it changed or not?
You need to try and identify the cause, so you both can work towards a solution, but i'd advise you to get away from where you live in order to gain a different perspective on things. Ask him to go on a vacation (a weekend is enough) and try and get close to him again. Talk, softly, with no pressures and without the need to see who wins or loses. Work at it together.
My husband went through a period like that, and what i did was i talked to him softly, even if inside i just wanted to murder him. If he wanted to pick a fight, i didn't give him the chance (you need 2 to fight), if he started yelling, i'd leave the room and told him i'd be back when he cooled off, and little by little, bit by bit, we grew closer again and found out what the problem was. You can try it, you know?
2007-03-02 08:52:12 · answer #1 · answered by AMBER D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly sit down and try to find yourself, ask if you really do love him anymore.
My opinion is that if you have to ask, then it really isn't love anymore. But if you want to try to get thta spark back try new things with him, dress up, make a fancy dinner, or invite some of his old friends over for a get together.
2007-03-02 16:45:38 · answer #2 · answered by yep-it-is-me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chill out. Find things to do without him and he will want you to do things with him again.
2007-03-02 16:42:12 · answer #3 · answered by mikey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋