I'm divorced with children. I have been getting on very well with a work colleuegue. He lives with his partner and children. Our relationship started about 3 months ago originally as a bit of banter, with him suggesting I needed to have a sexual relationship no ties. I kept saying it wasnt for me, an affair, but eventually agreed, However our friendships developed and we have both said we have strong feelings for each other, we text and chat on the phone a lot, although it tends to be my phone bill, but we only really see each other at work and have done no more than talk about sex, hold hands a couple of times and a few kisses. Does anyone have any idea if this is real? Going anywhere or what?
2007-03-02 08:09:35 · 35 answers · asked by Mish 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You both are playing with fire! If he likes you enough to want to have an affair with you, he should make some decisions. I would steer clear of him until he does so. You are only going to wind up hurt!
2007-03-02 08:13:45 · answer #1 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is going to a place where you have decided your sexual encounter is more important then the trust of a relationship between a man and a woman and children. This person needs to be reminded that while you are a nice "break" from reality, that you both need to be a bit more caring. The answer, no, you should not have a quick affair to satisfy yourself sexually, with a man who has children. Wow, how would you feel if you knew how those children will feel? Thing beyond yourself, beyond selfishness. Find someone who is available.
It is real, real hurtful. I hope if you do this, it comes back 10 fold.
2007-03-02 08:16:19 · answer #2 · answered by batwanda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to decide what it is you really want and if you can live with the consequences. He's in a relationship with someone and has already made it clear what his intentions are. He knows you're vulnerable right now and so is playing on the fact that if he can arouse you, game set and match to him. He's scored and you probably will be hooked. Then, the consequences are that he could play with you as and when it suits him or worse still totally ignore you at work, which will make for a bad atmosphere and you wouldnt want that. If you can deal with the consequences go ahead. But chances are you will come off worse than him. If you're looking for a quickie there are a load of websites for that... if you get my meaning. Good luck!!
2007-03-02 08:29:18 · answer #3 · answered by chiccigyal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Starting a relationship with someone who is living with someone and has children with that person is NEVER a good idea. If you want to sign yourself up for some turmoil go right ahead.
Why is he starting a relationship when he already has one? Is this the kind of person you want to start something with? Obviously he is not a man of integrity. If he were he would never start something unless he has ended and resolved his current situation. I think you deserve better. Why not find a relationship with someone who is not in a relationship. Is this just convenient? Is that all the better you can do? Expect more for yourself and you will find it.
2007-03-02 08:18:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are lonely and being flattered by a man that just wants sex. he may talk a good game of caring, but he would not be with his partner if he really wanted to go further with the relationship. If you can live with the fact that sex is the only thing he wants and that his partner is going to be devastated when, ( and she will) she finds out. You have been through a divorce. Remember how it felt?
2007-03-02 08:16:48 · answer #5 · answered by TillieDillie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at no point is a affair ever good. NO you shouldnt have an affair and shame on you for thinking about having an affair with a MARRIED man with CHILDREN. He doesnt want you, men have affairs cos of excited away and theres no sexualness back home. your his bit on the side, no matter what he tells you.
If his wife finds out, the child will have to coup with the split of their parents and divorce on a kid is tough, and it'll be your doing. a child needs a loving strong relationship to turn out ok. Its a bad idea and to be safe, you should end it. find someone who isnt married and has kids.
Shame on you. you should know better.
2007-03-02 08:19:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
From what I've seen 9/10 affairs don't go anywhere, with the lover waiting in limbo for months or even years while their married partner has the best of both worlds. This guy sounds like he wants his cake and eat it. The comfy domestic life and the thrill of sex with his lover. He must think he's in heaven!
Please do not enter into this, find someone free and single who can love you openly.
Best of luck!
2007-03-06 06:05:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody needs some sort of company, even if it's only for a quick one! You're probably happy with it because you know it's not anything heavy.
In all seriousness, no, it probably isn't going anywhere. Don't forget that he still lives with his partner and kids so it's not as though his relationship is on the rocks.
2007-03-02 08:19:45 · answer #8 · answered by finch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't over step the work and play line! your just an easy lay if all you have in common in the need for sex! Respect yourself and the people involved! Is it really worth hurting others, when this situation can be resolved by a simple trip to Ann Summers!
2007-03-02 08:39:16 · answer #9 · answered by Vikki C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
too be honest i think you should just walk away now before it goes any further,affairs never work out and the men always run back to the wife's and kids,i think he,s having his cake and eating it,off course he,s going to be filling your head with stuff because at the end of the day he has 2 women on the go.if i were you i,d stop it now before it totally gets out of control.good luck and make the right decision if not for you then for your children.
2007-03-02 08:19:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋