Me and my girlfriend have been through ALOT. We've been together a year. We took a break 4 months ago and she was drunk and made out with another guy. She came back to me and told me she was srry and that she loved me and cried and so on. I took her back. Ever since then i have not been happy with our relationship. I know its because when she did that i lost that feeling you're suppose to have, when you know the other person cares about you. Last night i told her i should have not got back with her that easy, and instead make her work for me because that would have made me feel better. I would have needed her to chase me. I told her i wasn't happy and that i wanted to end it with her. She said she doesn't know what to do. She told me that it wasn't over and that she would do anything as long as we stayed together. She said to give her a chance to let her prove she wants to be with me and show me she cares. I said alright. I really love her and as much as i don't want to end it,
2007-03-02 07:44:18 · 17 answers · asked by Hurt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
im scared shes not going to come through. Shes not an affectionate person, which bothers me, but i know she loves me. I love her soo much im just not happy any more.
was her first for everything except making out, and b4 me she was "saving it all untill marriage". i didnt pressure her or anything it just happened and it was soo special.
2007-03-02 07:44:53 · update #1
Well, she was honest enough to tell you and she was remorseful enough to feel bad about it, even though it really wasn't your business since you two were broken up at the time. Stop putting yourself above her and looking for things to hold against her. You should be glad for the opportunity to try to work things out if you really love her. She shouldn't have to prove her worthiness to you. She's not beneath you. If you don't want her, let go of her and be firm about it. There are other men out there who will find her attractive and will love a chance to go out with her, and hopefully she will find one who thinks of her as his equal, who enhances her life as much as she enhances his. It must suck for her to still be paying the price for something that can't be changed for so long. Make up your mind and stick to it. Don't be wishy washy-- it's an "all or nothing" decision.
2007-03-02 08:05:06 · answer #1 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok the first thing is your happiness, because in the end of it all being in a relationship with someone and you are not happy is all based on a lie. You are going to have to pretend alot. And the fact that she cheated with someone else and you know about it, you can never forget that. Yes you can forgive her but whenever you are going to make love to her, that memory will always come up. What I think you need right now is a break from each other, not break up, but a time to clear your head. If she was drunk and did that then you won't ever be able to trust her to go out anywhere without you,because it might just happen again. I feel for you men. But if you are someone who beleives in a higher power then ask Him to help you get over this if you really love her and want to be with her. If you think that she is the one then try your best. But as I said life is too short to be in a relationship that you are not happy with. We are here today and tomorrow we are not. So live your life being happy.
2007-03-02 07:58:22 · answer #2 · answered by petty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems u really do luv her and really do want to be with her but i think thta yall shouold break off for a min be friends and then enter the relationship again dont hold nothing against her because that will really make u not want to be with her but dont just end the relationship but should have knew better but u need to let her know that it aint that easy to forget things but start the relationship over i know it aint that much time in the world but u have to make sure this is the women for u becuase u dont want to just marry anybody. Respect and Trust is the most important thing in a relationship if there is none then there is no communcation there definetly is nothing. But be carefully what u choose to do. Good Luck
2007-03-02 07:52:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
love isn't a maybe thing. Don't let things from the past hold you down, good or bad. You gotta take a second and ask yourself if you can really rely on her to love you and make you happy.
You guys probably had a lot of good times together and you don't wanna let those things go, but. . . if you're not sure if you feel the same way for her still then don't lead her on and think that you do.
It takes a while to get over someone, but the goal is not to slip on your way away from them, because then you just have to keep on starting over
good luck.
2007-03-02 07:51:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you want her to EARN her way back into your heart? Not gonna happen, bud. The feeling is gone for a reason...she disrespected you and you were hurt. If she cared that much and wanted to get back with you the first time, she wouldn't have hooked up with another guy.
Relationships should not be so much work when you are dating. It hurts. It's very real...but if it's not great, why bother?
You will have enough work when you are in a commited marriage and REAL problems are screwing up your relationships. Save the effort for then.
You do love her. Fine. She may even love you. But you will not only be "in love" only one time in your life. I have truly been in love with 4 men...one of which I married. Experience is a great teacher.
Good luck!
2007-03-02 07:54:25 · answer #5 · answered by SouthernGrits 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust has been broken and you're still waiting to regain that from her .. which is completely understandable considering what happened. Decide if you're willing to take the time to gain that back from her, or if it's too far broken. If you think it can be like it was before, or close to, then just give it time and let her show you. If not, though, be honest with her and move on. You can't force happiness. Good luck!
2007-03-02 07:50:06 · answer #6 · answered by Duckie314 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well get over it and she came to you and told you what happen before someone told you... you know guy might pressuring her to have her kiss him... and you knew she drunk and drinks all that... I don't feel sorry for you... why??? when I was drunk my girlfriend at that time she knew... she saw me with one woman one bedroom friend's house but nothing happen and i turn around there she is... she was pissed and walked out and I run to her told her how sorry I was and Really am... I know what I was doing is wrong... she still don't believe me at all, so guess what.. Next morningI still remembe and still tell her sorry and I made her promised that I will never drink again... that how much I care about my girlfriend... so guess what we are now marred for 10 years and I have never once try to drink one damn thing... My promised to her is this... and I kept it...
So you should have her promised you not drink no more if she truly in love wth you smiling...
2007-03-02 07:55:08 · answer #7 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, stupid! You absolutely did the dumbest thing a man can do. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If you had cheated on her, she would have never, in her heart, forgiven you! You're stupid! Does she still have the capacity to drink and make-out? If so, she can do it AGAIN!!! Go find somebody else if you really want to be happy or else you will be a slave to her desires. BE A MAN! A woman would always hold cheating against you; why shouldn't you hold cheating against her!
2007-03-02 07:54:34 · answer #8 · answered by Quest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly my good element is now and back my worst high quality, and my undesirable element is now and back my good high quality... good - such as you i'm overly ordinary, yet many circumstances to a fault. For some reason I on no account think of of "cushioning" a number of my truths. of direction this one is sweet too because of the fact i'm an fairly ordinary guy or woman it rather is something that anybody enjoys having around. undesirable - Very aggressive, when I get into something, i'm getting into it vast TIME, mutually as i do no longer hotel to cheating or something, i could properly be very hyperactive and obnoxious now and back in the time of it. On a marvelous for this one nevertheless, i'm on no account prepared to offer up no remember how bleek the placement could look because of this sturdy aggressive spirit.
2016-09-30 02:59:11 · answer #9 · answered by fogleman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you haven't forgiven her for cheating. That is one of the hardest things to forgive and breaks up many relationships.
You are the only one who can decide if this is going to work. She can't do anything to make it go away or make you feel better now. You have to decide if you really think you can put this past you and get on with the relationship.
2007-03-02 07:49:20 · answer #10 · answered by DeeGee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋