what should i do or say to my abusive mother?

Question

i am having a problem confronting her about something that happend the other day~
she lives 2000 miles away and my hubby n our kids live here in calif. we went to file taxes w/h &r block the other day and of course hubby claims all of us~ well they said we could not claim our daughter cuz someone else did! finds out it was my mother who lives 2000 miles away did! she is an RN who makes a lot of $ and is single and for her not to pay out as much taxes she did this! here we are struggling family and i am a housewife and hubby is the only provider. what would u say to a person that did this 2 u? she also will not give ourt her phone # . and when i ried to phone her over the holidays to just say hi she abruptly said "i got to go now bye" and have not heard from her since. she has always been a lil on the snooty side and kind of ups her nose at me and my daughter she calls her a major weirdo and it hurts my feelings. what shouldi do or say? should i just let it go?

Answer 1

Turn her in to the irs!!!!!! You provided care for you daughter not her and she should have known better, it is against the law! Why should your family be put out when she is a RN and makes good money!!!!!!! You should not have to do without because of her. And if she is abusive, you and your kids dont need to be around that anyway. What she did is wrong and if she has any conscous she would not have done that! I would turn her in and not worry, dont make your family do without because she is selfish!

Answer 2

No, don't let it go! What your Mother did was wrong, totally wrong! It is one thing if she would of called and asked you, but to just claim your child on her taxes without saying a word, is wrong.
I have three Children and right now I would do almost anything to help them out financially. My oldest is 44 and the youngest is 26, all with Families. Its very hard for young families to make it now a days in less both parties are working and still it's a struggle.
I think you should call your Mother if you can, talk to her in a calm voice. I would explain to her that you went to have your Taxes done and what you were told about one of you children being claimed by someone else, her. Then ask her to explain to you how this happened? I would also tell her that you expect her to take care of her own Tax liabilities.
It sounds like it is time for Mom to be taught a lesson and I would think you could turn her in. That is up to you and your husband, you do realize she in some respects has her hand in your pocket.
I think this is a terrible thing she has done, it not just you that this affects, its your husband and children also. She has no respect for your little family.
I am so sorry she has done this to you and your family, if you can't call her at least write her. You have to stop this now and remember to stay calm.

Answer 3

u should contact the irs and report her for using ure daughter as a deduction..then when u are able to reach her..tell her u know what she did and it was a terrible thing to do...tell her she owes u an apology of course u wont get it but u have let her know her behavior is unacceptable..then dont try to contact her for a while...give it a rest...just be cautious of all her actions and when she calls be polite..she is ure mother...maybe no one has ever told her no in her life.. and its time u did. if the behavior contiunes u have no choice but to sever ties with her and that would be really sad.

Answer 4

How far to you want to carry this? You could call the IRS and let them know that she claimed your child as a dependant when she isn't the child's care provider. The IRS would really enjoy auditing her for the last few years to see what else she has tried to put over on them.

Now I am not sure that it qualifies as abusive, but it sure qualifies as criminal.

Answer 5

first off, hell no

Second it's illeagle and how she has your childs ss# is beyond me. File a claim through the IRS on her and do whatever it takes that doesn't sound like a good mother a selfish one and she needs to be audited and you dont have to tell her you know either call turn her in and let the law handle it, it's your child she doesn't support her do it so she doesn't know and what comes around goes around it's not going to do you any good either

Answer 6

First thing I would do was report that an unauthorized person claimed my child on their taxes. Your mother has NO right to do something like that and I'm sure it's illegal. Don't let her get away with that or she will keep doing things like that. Talk to the person who prepares your taxes to find out what you have to do to report her. Don't let her walk all over you and certainly don't let her mess around with your finances.

Answer 7

Has your mother contributed approximately half of the support of your daughter? If so, she may be entitled to claim her as a dependant. If not, then she should not and you need to get this straightened out with the IRS before you and your mother both get in trouble.

Answer 8

She could get in a lot of trouble for claiming your daughter doesn't she know that I would try and talk to her if she won't forget her and talk to the IRS about what happened so you can get your money she'll have to pay it back she committed fraud

Answer 9

Get the authorities involved to put a stop to this.She knows what she is doing that is why she is ignoring you.Show her that you are not stupid & that she cannot get away with this.Report her at once & Id also ask the people that you have met with what can be done.That is wrong.Put an end to it now!

Answer 10

she is obviously not a mother well not to you I would report her she took food out of your mouth and close off your back!! your family now (kids n hubby) is and should come first and four most before anyone else so REPORT HER!!!she had no right to use your child so she will probably do it again if you don't stand up for yourself!!