my boyfriend and i have been together for a year now. he is still married but he also has been looking for his ex for 5 years so he could file for the divorce, but she didnt want it.
And now out of the blue she finds him on myspace and says that she is ready for the divorce now because she is getting married in a few months. But on top of it she wants to meet up with him instead of just sending the papers so he can sign.
is that her desprait way of seeing him? and should we meet her or do what i told her...... I told her just to send them if she wanted it done.
2007-03-02 06:10:55 · 13 answers · asked by bailey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it might possibly be 1 last attempt to see him. but these things always work out better if people can be civil w/ each other. plus she might just want to be a grown up and apologize to him in person for their past, instead of a call or letter in the mail. go and meet her. be optimistic. things have a way of working out for the best.
2007-03-02 06:24:00 · answer #1 · answered by heynow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just went through a divorce, and it's not as simple as just signing a form or whatever.
LOTS of complications involved, lots of questions have to be answered by both parties, etc., and it's MUCH easier if you're sitting there face to face.
Otherwise it goes back & forth, many phone calls, and the lawyers can get involved if one person isn't clear on something and thinks the other is trying to burn them, etc.,
It's best they meet.
If you're that jealous, then go along, but you're being childish by thinking that someone is making an overture at a divorce meeting. How less of a romantic circuimstance could you think of?
2007-03-02 06:18:00 · answer #2 · answered by dork 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said should "we" meet up with her, which means that he invited you along for the meeting. If this is the case then I don't think you have anything at all to worry about. It would be different if he had made arrangements to meet her without you.
She might just want to see him to put closure to the situation. Maybe she wants to explain something to him or apologize for disappearing for so long. Something that needs to be done in person.
As for your telling her to just send them, franky I think you should let your boyfriend handle this. It's not a good idea for you to contact her at all. You don't want to make it about the two of you competing for him, and you don't want to come across to her as insecure in your relationship. This not only gives her ammunition to use against you but shows your boyfriend that you don't trust him.
As hard as the meeting would be for you it's probably better for you to see how your boyfriend reacts to being around his ex. You wouldn't want to always be wondering what would happen if he saw her again. This way, once it is over, you will know that he saw his ex but still chose to be with you.
Whatever you do, realize that this is difficult for your boyfriend and don't make it about you. He needs your support and understanding in this matter.
Good luck hon. It's a difficult thing to go through but if you hold your head high and show some class and understanding in a situation that is clearly difficult for your boyfriend then you will come out the winner.
2007-03-02 06:30:41 · answer #3 · answered by Eris 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
After 5 years of waiting for her, I would make her mail the papers and sign and return them to her. I would make her wait...since the divorce is in a few months I would make her sweat it out that he will sign the papers in time. He needs the time to review the paperwork and talk to his lawyer, etc. This might be her way of rushing him into signing something he does not agree with. Make her sweat it out...
2007-03-02 06:17:45 · answer #4 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she looked him up and requested the divorce after all this time, just take it as what it is - a chance to get the paperwork signed and move on. If you go with him to meet her, what is the worst that can happen? But, if you don't see her it's possible that this process could go on forever.
2007-03-02 06:15:47 · answer #5 · answered by eileezy2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is between your boy friend and his soon to be ex wife, NOT you. You should be happy that she is finally willing to get it done. She wants to marry someone else so I don't see why you are being insecure about this. And if you don't have trust with your man you shouldn't be together!
2007-03-02 06:37:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You two could pick up the papers or she could send them, either way she would not meet with him alone.
2007-03-02 06:18:17 · answer #7 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your right!!! If she wants it done she will send the papers... I wouldnt go meet her.. She hasnt been willing to meet him the past five years, so why should he!! make her mail them!!!
2007-03-02 06:14:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could have filed for divorce & gotten one without ever finding her....
She does not need to agree, approve, sign or be present...
2007-03-02 06:13:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not go see her it will stir up old feeling or start new ones. just have her mail them to him or go through a lawyer and sign them .. but either way take a witness..
2007-03-02 06:29:33 · answer #10 · answered by raven1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋