I want to leave, but my heart want let me. He is much older than me. How do I let go, and how do I heal from a lonely heart. PLEASE HELP.
2007-03-02 06:01:44 · 13 answers · asked by angle2005star 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What you are feeling for him, is it "Love", or is it "Infatuation"?
"Love" is based things like on trust, understanding, commitment, and a willingness to temporarily put someone else's needs ahead of your own.
Love does not just "happen" to you; you do not "fall in love". Love is a conscious decision; you have to develop it, and work for it. While it is not always equal, love is not one-sided, it requires cooperation by both parties, even in the simple case of you giving, and someone else accepting.
"Infatuation" is based solely on the fact that being around someone else makes *you* feel good. It is by definition, totally one-sided. It is based on selfishness, lust, obsession, and fantasy. Infatuation is really all about yourself, not about the other person. Infatuation can be very powerful, and it can develop into real love, but only if both parties are willing.
While you may feel something of real love for this man, it is likely that he only feels infatuation, especially if he is unwilling to acknowledge you needs or you feelings, or to try to compromise.
You need to honestly ask yourself how much you are really willing to risk on this relationship, and how much are you likely to get out of it, at the end of the day.
Good luck.......
~Donkey Hotei
2007-03-02 06:48:19 · answer #1 · answered by WOMBAT, Manliness Expert 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have soo been there. Hes age really shouldnt have anything to do with it. But sometimes older men dont want anything serious like love when they are with a younger women. Sometimes you will leave then end up going back. I have done that many times. Its going to hurt but if he doesnt love you or care for you the same way that you do then your going to get hurt. The longer you wait the harder it is. Its best now to cut all ties and say your good byes. Theres really no cure for a lonely heart. But remember theres someone out there that is going to love you in the way that you love this guy.
2007-03-02 06:06:57 · answer #2 · answered by JENNIFER C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Letting go is hard. Takes time.. and I know from experience that time does heal.. But I will tell you now that there is nothing anyone can say or do anything to make you feel better. I myself went through a breakup about a year ago and it took me this long to get over it.. nothing anyone did or said could help me.
I will tell you this.. I have dated older men all my life starting at age 13.. Most older guys only want one thing from you.. They see you as someone who has their whole life to live and that you will probably not settle for them in the long run or visa versa.
We women tend to outgrow men rather quickly expecially the immature ones who go after young girls like you...
Live your life, have fun while you can, and date around
I was settled down at 14 with a baby when I should have been going to school dances and cheerleading
2007-03-02 06:12:54 · answer #3 · answered by Stormy Knight 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I just went through the same thing. My boyfriend was older than me and I was so in love with him. He, on the other hand, was just humoring me, I think. My suggestion is to talk to him about it. If you feel like he is just playing with you, then get out of the relationship. There is nothing worse than falling in love with someone only to find out that they don't feel the same. That when the hurt comes, and it does hurt. Call some friends, do some guy bashing, and get some ice cream. It really does help.
2007-03-02 06:08:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you realize that your man is using you, it will be easy for your heart to heal. You won't find that perfect guy until you let the jerk you are holding onto, go. Thank you and good luck.
2007-03-02 06:06:24 · answer #5 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to make your decision and be strong. A broken heart does heal in time. The longer you wait the worse it will be.
Find comfort and support in your friends and family. Good luck.
2007-03-02 06:06:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best way to mend a broken heart is with a new love..
Tell him how you feel and let him know that if he is not
serious about you that you want to move on...
2007-03-02 06:05:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well honey....if you feel that he is not serious about you then he is not worth your time...and as for your heart...the longer you stay the harder it will be and the more it will hurt you...find some one your own age and if you need to talk more im here!!
2007-03-02 06:09:45 · answer #8 · answered by Cutiepieblueeyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you have that backwards. Your Heart is telling you to leave. Your mind is trying to get you to stay for the benefits. Listen to the tickin'! It knows what's best. And Good Luck to you, Ma'am.
2007-03-02 06:05:30 · answer #9 · answered by Goggles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him and dont contact him..if he is serious about you he will come back looking for you if not then move on and find someone else
2007-03-02 06:07:31 · answer #10 · answered by Debbie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋