ok, im 18 and have a lil 1 yr old baby. me and her father was together for 2 and a half years but we broke up cuz i cheated because he was working to jobs and i though he was cheating on me.
A couple months ago he was beggin for me back, i took him back n it seems like everyday he throws the cheating thing in my face. he thinks he can take advantage of me but he cant, he gets mad when i ask him if he is cheating he gets really mad. i have my old engagement ring on but i think he only put in on my finger so guys dont come up to me.......but i told him i wasnt gunna cheat. i have so many emotions i have no idea what to do. this isnt all of it but plz tell me what to do, i really love him.
2007-03-02 05:44:28 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you cant trust him then you will never be able to be with him and vice versa...yes you cheated but remember that he begged for you back and if he couldnt forgive you then he shouldnt have...he still has no right to throw it in your face it was in the past and he needs to leave it there... Tell him that and if it doesnt change then i would let him go his own way because you will never be able to be happy with that thrown in your face every day. good luck and remember that there many more guys out there...but try to make it work for your baby...but dont stay in an unhappy home because that WILL make it worse for her.
2007-03-02 05:52:36 · answer #1 · answered by Cutiepieblueeyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh goodness...I'm sorry, but neither one of you sounds mature enough to be in a real relationship, let alone to be parents. But since you do have a child, the best thing you can do for your baby is provide a stable home life--and this relationship doesn't sound like it's providing any stability. It doesn't sound like there is any trust or respect on either side and a relationship lacking those two key things is pretty hard to salvage. If you can, get couples counseling. Other than that, I would say you two need time apart to get your heads on straight and grow up a little and figure out what you both really want. Try starting over and being friends for a while and see how that goes, then progress from there. Just make sure the baby is always priority #1 for both of you.
2007-03-02 05:53:32 · answer #2 · answered by CrysV 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, lots and lots of trust issues. Before the break up, did you ever catch him cheating or did he ever give you a reason to suspect he was cheating? And was your cheating the 1st and only time it happened. If not as much as you love him, and he loves you, you should probably agree to be partners in raising your child and put the relationship aside. After all your childs best interest is what is most important. My parents have been together (not married) for 35 years and growing up as the oldest child my mom would confide in me that as soon as the youngest child was 18 that her and my dad were going to split up because neither of them were happy and were only staying together because of the kids. She said it wasn't always that way that they loved each other at one time but now they can't even stand to be in the same room as each other, which is difficult because they still live together. Just stop and think about the emotional strain it will put on your child to see the two of you always fight or argue about the same thing, they will start to feel like it is their fault that the both of you are unhappy. Work on your friendship and try to regain each others trust, then see how the cards play out.....Good luck.
2007-03-02 05:54:17 · answer #3 · answered by tmjgmw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is absolutely no trust in this relationship whatsoever!
You, both, need to work on this.
You were desperately in the wrong to cheat. When he's working two jobs. To help support his family. So wrong.
He sounds a Saint to have taken you back, presumably for the babys sake too.
However, he is very wrong to then bring it all back up if you have an argument, equally naughty.
It seems that the pair of you need a break. Is there a family member that could take the child for perhaps a week. Even a weekend. Just so the pair of you can find that passion again?
Equally, you both need to sit down and talk this through. Say whats wrong, be honest with one another.
2007-03-02 05:52:03 · answer #4 · answered by Moorglademover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cheated on my boyfriend, and we broke up. When we eventually got back together, he did the same thing. He always thought I was cheating and didn't trust me one bit. We were together another two and a half years after that and he never trusted me (even though I never cheated again). It's not a good relationship to stay in if there is no trust. It's your call, but I think you will figure it out in your own time. It's all about how much you can take.
2007-03-02 05:51:31 · answer #5 · answered by Jacque 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, for starters, your mistake was cheating on him in the first place.....
You said you cheated on him because he was working 2 jobs and you though the was cheating on you.... Logic would have said talk to him before you cheat. For all you know, he was working to get money for you and the baby, and your engagement ring, and wasn't cheating but you felt it was right to cheat because you thought he was.... A relationship is supposed to be based on trust and communication... Obviously you two didn't have that or else you would have communicated your feelings instead of putting your hormones into action with another man....
If you love this man so much, why'd you cheat in the first place?? And what is the problem...you love him, he wants you back... TALK TO HIM... tell him you need everything out in the open and for God sakes, trust him if he says he's not cheating and have him trust you if you say you're not cheating...unless you find proof, then by all means get into it and have it out. Remember, you have a child together... so obviously at some point you loved one another to want to have a family together and having an engagement ring tells me that he loves you enough to want to make you his wife.....
Sit down, talk about everything, if you need to have an argument, go for it...sometimes it's healthy for a relationship, but don't let your baby suffer from feuding parents! Be honest about everything... talk about whatever needs to be talked about in order to get yourselves on the right track again.
2007-03-02 05:56:04 · answer #6 · answered by jessicadiamond_4einc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow been there I eventually left him and now am happly married to someone else your not going to have a healthy relationship if you don't let go of the past get help counsling or break it off before you child grows up to thinking this is how all relationships are and will follow the same pattern as you or the dad.
ps- if you in roll for school you could get a pell grant and housing assistance good luck you can do it on your own I did!
2007-03-02 05:59:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is getting back at you. He begged you to take him back, and is throwing the "you cheated on me" thing in your face to hurt you and get back at you. He lost his trust in you and will probably cheat on you in the future. If he really forgave you, he wouldn't be accusing you of cheating. He probably just cant stand to think of you with another guy. You guys are too immature for a relationship. Focus on your daughter so she don't have the same problems you two do when she grows up.
2007-03-02 05:51:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are young. Only stay with him if you love him. Don't stay for the baby, it will only hurt him in the long run. You have to be true to your heart. If he knows you cheated and took you back, then he needs to forgive you. You do not deserve to have this thrown up in your face everyday. You are young, you made a mistake. If he took you back, he should understand and accept that. Obviously he is too immature to do so. Think about what is best for your child. And remeber, it is so unfair to be unfair to yourself just to make someone else happy.
2007-03-02 05:50:03 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just think of it this way, If you don't cheat, think that he's not cheating either, but if you do cheat, think that he is also cheating. Because if your not cheating this will help you a lot to trust him. Don't think he's cheating on you all the time and tell him that because he will get tired of it and this could be a big prob. in your relationship. Learn to have a little trust in your love. Good Luck. *_*
2007-03-02 05:49:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋