Friend's child needs chemo - what can we do to help from a distance?

Question

My friend's child is starting chemo. There are other children at home.

She does not live near us but we want to help. Do you have ideas of what we can do to help? Hope she will let us pay for house cleaners. We would like to babysit the kids or make meals but we can't.

Grocery delivery is a good idea but tough since we won't know when the family will be home.

There was no Dinner's Ready in their area. I'll find out if there is similar.

Thanks!

Wonderful ideas! I'll take all that people will share.

Most of us live 1,000 miles away from the family.

Answer 1

My son, age 5, finished chemo about 13 months ago for a Wilms Tumor.

Have your friend get onto www.acor.org and see if they have a support group for parents of children with her childs type of cancer. They have one for Wilms. I am on it.

Have her set up a Caring Bridge (www.caringbridge.com) or Care Page (www.carepages.com -- I think) site so that everyone can stay updated without having to call all the time.

Send gift cards to places to eat, that are near the hospital.

Activities that the child can do from bed or the couch are great! (games, movies, coloring books, etc...)

Hire a maid, grocery delivery, babysitting (I know you are not close but maybe you could help pay a sitter)..

Offer love and support and pray!

I can also get you a list of ideas put together by Wilms parents, if you would like to email me, off site.

Answer 2

My son was diagnosed with Stage IV Neuroblastoma 2 years ago, so I can tell you from experience...
See if you can get in touch with neighbors/co-workers/church memebers, etc and set up meals to be delievered, especially during chemo stays. Send gift cards for fast-food establishments, gift cards for gas (driving back and forth to the hospital gets exspensive)... also, gift cards to WalMart/Target so the family can stock up on paper towels/disinfectant/antibacterial hand sanitizer... and any other essentials.
See if you can pay for a maid service over the phone, but make sure the parent wants this... I did not want to take a chance in having someone who could possibly be sick come into my home.
Maybe take a long weekend, and visit... friends are really needed now, especially just to talk, and LAUGH!!
Maybe gift cards for Blockbuster, since public outings will not happen much with the precious one who was diagnosed.
And, if you send something to the little warrior, don't forget the siblings, too. Our son is an only child, but we met so many families whose other children would get upset...
Here is a cool website, that will give you lots of ideas, too:
http://www.squirreltales.com/parents.html
May God Bless this family...

Answer 3

This family is going to need lots of support....even from afar. Dinners are important. Often the church sets up those things. The children at home will need lots of help too, dealing with the stresses of the parents and understanding what is happening. Boxes of goodies (even mylar balloons already blown up in a huge box) will really help lighten their burden and everyone will appreciate any distraction. Prayers, also are important if this family is at all religious.
You could offer to come and stay at their house for a weekend and take care of the kids, clean, iron...whatever is helpful.
That child and family will be also in my prayers.

Answer 4

Send things like movies, toys, clothing, ect for the child. If there are siblings, get don’t forget them.
For the parents, give them an American Express gift card (so they can choose where they buy stuff) and a care package. A phone card is always a good idea since they probably can’t use cell phones in the hospital.

Answer 5

Check to see if they have one of those Dinner's Ready type places in there area. They are popping up all over. Call the place and ask them if they can put together and deliver the meals. If you tell them the story behind it they might even donate some meals for the family.

Answer 6

How heartbreaking that your friend's child needs chemotherapy. I really wish all of them my best. And what a doll you are! That sounds like a fantastic idea of thoughtfully paying to have their house cleaned. How about also hiring a professional organizer since when one's house is organized, the mind tends to feel more organized.

And if you do get them a gift certificate for house cleaning, please remember to do so with a company that is licensed and insured. And the gift certificate puts it in their hands if they would like to use the service(s) or not. Perhaps also checking with the Better Business Bureau? A friend of mine picked someone out of the phonebook whose ad claimed to be insured but it was a lie and they stole some of her belongings and were just not on the up and up after all.

Answer 7

Can you set up home grocery delivery? Order her some weekly groceries to be delivered.....even the staples like milk, bread, cereal, some basic dinner stuff (pasta, sauce, fz. veggies), so if things are difficult she could at least open the fridge and put something together w/o going to the store?

Answer 8

Since they will be spending so much time cooped up in the hospital. Maybe you could send them little care packages with snack foods, crossword puzzles, games for the child to play on good days, videos, momentos, cd's, inspirational books, lotions (unscented stuff for all the handwashing) just little things to brighten their day. You can arrange to send things to the unit they are on or the place they will be staying during her treatments.

Answer 9

First off, don't become a pain in the butt by bugging them, and disrupting their lives even more by hiring strangers to clean the house. This may seem like a good idea to you, but it could just create another problem for them. There may not be much you can do besides being a friend. Talk to your friend after chemo begins, and listen to the things she complains about, and offer your help. If she declines, just send a card and let her know you are thinking of her.