If you are dating someone is it a good idea to talk about your past and how many people you been with?
2007-03-02 04:51:21 · 32 answers · asked by dreamangel1102002 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i personally think this is no one's business but your own.
i've never understood the fascination with people wanting to know every intimate detail of a partner's history.
what good can come of listing all the people you've slept with?
people tend to be very judgemental, and speaking about your past history can make some people feel very insecure ... especialy men. most men like to think they're the best lover their partner has ever had, the more partners you've had the less likely that is to be true ... if a guy is less experienced than his girlfriend he'll worry about it, usually.
so, the answer is no, it's not a good idea. that said, it's not always avoidable, as a flat refusal to discuss it can make someone wonder if you're hiding something worse than it actually is.
my advice would be to try and avoid the subject and be vague, if someone challenges you for a direct number, or names, then ask them what's wrong with them that they really need to know and, if necessary, soften the blow ... give them half the information they need, then change the subject.
2007-03-02 04:59:35 · answer #1 · answered by brightspark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Defnitely not! Your past is yours alone. It has no bearing on your current relationship unless there is something that HAS to be revealed (like a child). Why add stress or fuel for a fight. Or if you two have some relationship problems in the future, he can use it against you. There absolutely no need for you to reveal anything nor does he have to tell you of his own. A broad answer of the number of people you have dated or slept with, "maybe"....but nothing more in detail. That is the past and should remain the past. What if he interpret it as you being easy or worse, a *s*l*u*t*? Would you consider him the same if he had a whole lot of females he slept with? The only reason why you want to do so if it deals with an STD or a child was the result from the past.
Good luck. =)
2007-03-02 04:58:39 · answer #2 · answered by indyhype 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two R's has been created and formed into a word for us to ponder...Reservation and Respect. No matter how much we feel the need to reach out and be open, we still need reservations to keep for ourselves. You are not obliged to explain to anybody the things you did to your past. Those things that belonged to your past should be kept treasured be it bad or good ones. That way you would be able to retain other people's respect towards you and in the same way, your respect to your own self is upheld.
2007-03-02 05:00:24 · answer #3 · answered by Bleedingheartofagoddess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a good idea to bring up your past sex life, no. If you're in a serious relationship, that's a different story. I think the other person has a right to know.
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2007-03-02 04:55:53 · answer #4 · answered by Candy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please hear loud and clean: If his father is a sexual criminal he would be besides in some style of way. you assert now you do no longer prefer young ones yet sooner or later maximum possibly you will replace your recommendations. then you definately would be divorcing besides over the arguement of your baby and the grandfather. And on a similar time as thats happening he would be having a courting with a baby. Fathers and sons are like mirrors relatively in the event that they're close.
2016-12-14 08:59:39 · answer #5 · answered by unck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, after all it is a chain. See Q means you and F means how many people you slepped with, and G means how many people They slept with ok? Look ( This is just an estimate not the real thing So please do not be offended)
Q - F F
G G
G G
G G
2007-03-02 04:59:38 · answer #6 · answered by unknown 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have to reveal anything you don't want to. It's a personal thing that most people don't want to share.
plus, he may not like the answer. If you tell him some silly large number he may look at you differently like someone whose been around a bit too much. if its only been one or two people (or none) he may not like that thought either.
Just keep the mystery about it... it turns men on more!
2007-03-02 04:57:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't think so. My fiance asked me and we dicided that we would tell each other who we have been with. It didn't turn out so good. He never lets it go. In fact it broke us apart for a little bit until he realized that he was the only man that I wanted to be with. I hope you have better luck than me if you do tell him! LOL
2007-03-02 04:56:36 · answer #8 · answered by Nancy Lou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a good idea to share the roster after you've been together for a while. When you're close and are comfortable around each other enough to open up to each other, then you can/should share.
2007-03-02 05:11:54 · answer #9 · answered by rstr0619 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is like opening up pandora's box. All sorts of things and feelings will come out. Unless you are asked something specific, I would not volunteer it. Honesty is good, but putting it right out there is just too much
2007-03-02 04:56:11 · answer #10 · answered by mlock123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋