my child she will be 4 in may he left when she was about 1 and now he is with a nother girl who just had his baby 8 months a go and he is claming he child that is the same as my child i dont know hat to do he says he is back on him feet and wants to get her stuff when he tryed to talk to her a few days ago over the phone she said she dose not like hima dn he is not her daddy soem one help im only 20 and a single mom that dose not know what to do help me pls
2007-03-02 04:45:37 · 11 answers · asked by babydoll694617192002 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I really think you should just continue to have nothing to do with him and live a fresh new life with your child. This will save many complications in the future and will be easier for you and your baby if you ever choose to get married and start a new family.
2007-03-02 04:52:34 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer S 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that if he wants to start a new relationship with your daughter then you should encourage him pay child support. This doesn't necessarily mean a bad thing. I have two kids with my bf 3 &1 and he pays child support of the 3 yr old. The main thing is to make sure you can take care of her. I think you should let her see him, maybe the three of you can take her to the park or something together and talk things over and see what terms the two of you can agree on. Don't let the new girlfriend interfere...your daughter may have a new sibling and there is nothing that can change that. If the girl is not a petty person then the two of you may even be able to be civil to each other.
2007-03-02 13:03:28 · answer #2 · answered by mis_2_hijos 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would a 4 yr old say something like that to her father unless she heard it somewhere? I have raised my step daughter for almost three years now she will be 5 in two weeks she hardly ever see's her real mom and she never calls she actually have visits with the grandparents and I guess her mom see's her there sometimes but I know that she still loves her even though she calls me mommy she still calls her mommy and desires to see her. We cannot stand her mother we know shes selfish and could care less about her child except to get attention once every couple months but we never say anything negative about her to my daughter or around her because its not our place to form that opinion or decision for her so I think for one you need to stop the negative talk about her father to her and give her father a chance yeah it may be aggrivating but its her father and perhaps he has changed and if he hasnt she will figure it out for herself someday thats her right.
2007-03-02 13:00:29 · answer #3 · answered by Beautiful Dreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is a tough one. I guess it all depends on the arrangements you have made. Did he sign away his rights? If not I would guess that he (in the eyes of the courts) is entitled to see her. If he is insistent, then maybe it's time to have a talk with your daughter and try to explain the situation to her so that it is not so traumatic for her to see him. Also, I would suggest that you be constantly present with the two of them during any visits.
I think the laws are different everywhere (I am in Canada) but if he wants this bad enough, he could take you to court and you don't want that.
In the end though it is ultimately up to you I guess. Keeping your feeling out of this is best and just think of what is best for your daughter.
Wishing you all the best!
2007-03-02 13:15:08 · answer #4 · answered by michellecdnd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should allow him to see your child.
I just got in contact with my dad after 20 years, and i never thought i would care to meet him, until i actually found him. it hurt thinking about how he had other kids who he was there for and did things with, and i think if he was around when i was growing up maybe i could of have things my friends with two parents got.
If a guy wants to be there for his child you should really let him, you don't get that often, even if it took him a while to come around.
2007-03-02 13:24:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She feels hurt and rejected, which is perfectly normal. If you have made negative comments about him in her presence, even if not to her, this would encourage her to feel this way about him. We as parents have to guard our mouths and what we say in front of and to our children. If she can see that you are willing to give him another chance at being her father, it will encourage her to do the same. Maybe his newborn baby is making him realize how wrong he was to walk out on your daughter. If we expect to be forgiven for our shortcomings, we must learn to do the same for others.
2007-03-02 12:54:38 · answer #6 · answered by edcw0214 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only let him visit alone. You might know him but that does not mean you owe the girlfriend visitation. Keep all visits at your house under your supervison. Limit how much time he visits, chances are he is only doing it to impress the girlfriend. DON'T LEAVE YOUR CHILD ALONE WITH HIM! He has to earn the right to be a dad back. Make him work for it.
2007-03-02 12:58:20 · answer #7 · answered by Leslie B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know how you feel its scary thing. To let the dad see his kid when he is never around. I think you should let him see her. But on your terms. You dont want to have your child growing up with out ever having met her dad. Plus if you dont and she finds out later she will be upset and might be mad at you for it later.
2007-03-02 13:30:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunatly for you he dies have rights.
BUT you can go to court to get supervised visitation so that he does get to see her but on your terms.
i hate to say it ,but you have to give him a chance.
2007-03-02 12:56:57 · answer #9 · answered by Tissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be careful...... You dont want him to leave her again!!! this time it will hurt her because she will remember!!!!! Think about it!
2007-03-02 12:52:54 · answer #10 · answered by Joann L 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋