Is prayer enough, or should I say something?

Question

My friend is married with 3 children and having an affair... I'm having a hard time not judging her. IS prayer enough?
i feel like I should say something to her.. like i'm worried about her and i think she is making a huge mistake...
how would other Christians handle this?

Being a christian has everything to do with it in this case , she is my pastors daughter... and we are in a christ based support group together. so i feel i need to make a decision based on faith.. thanks for understanding.

Answer 1

Your question is a very good one! If you ask me, you have this inner debate because your conscience is nudging you. Your conscience is the voice of your soul wanting to reach out to her's(your friend) who is currently enshrouded with darkness and confusion.

You absolutely should talk to her, if you are wanting to be a good friend. Good friends are lovingly honest with each other. This is not a small matter, for it involves not only herself but her husband and her innocent children.

She took a vow before God which made her 'one flesh' with her husband. It is said that in these darker times which humanity is currently immersed in, that the devil loves nothing more than to break up families.

Peace, world peace, begins in the home with the family. If we are not faithful to our spouse how are we to be faithful to God? To Jesus?

God's commandment and law: Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery

This is not an optional law. Be a good friend to her and give her a firm talking to, Christian to Christian. Pray with her. Support her with living an honest life for her soul, herself, her family and most of all for Jesus. She can't take her physical body with her when she dies...the body which she is using for selfish desires but she can take repentance.

God likes to use us as his instruments and in this case I think God wants to use your voice. Support your friend. Speak up for her soul! She has a large support group with the Christian community. Christian counseling is also available.

The devil is sneaky and likes to work in secret, behind veils, in disquise. Encourage your friend to walk in the light and abandon the soul stealing darkness. If you need more courage, I recommend you speak perhaps with your pastor or preist at church for their advice.

I'll say a prayer for you and your friend. ~Peace & God Bless~

Answer 2

I am not sure why you are only restricting this to Christians. Please ignore my response if it is irrelevant as I am a muslim.

I believe prayers are not enough, though important. Try having a chat with her either a candid or an indirect one; depending on how close you are and how you think she will handle it. You do not want to push her further down the edge. Also depending on how you get along with her husband, you can get him to be closer to her, doing more of the things she likes, without getting him suspicious.

It might be helpful if you can get the local priest or pastor to give a sermon on infidelity that she can attend and hopefully, it might help her.

At the end of the day, everyone is accountable for what they do. Do not take it so hard on yourself if you have done everything you can. At this point, keep only praying.

Peace

Answer 3

That's a hard one. I have a Christian friend who is sleeping with a guy who doesn't care about her and has no intention of marrying her..

We have had numerous talks about her situation. She has been advised through sermons, life group talks and more to stop. She doesn't feel that she is messing up, even though she is constantly unhappy.

Yes definitely pray. Keep loving her. If she asks, don't keep her children for her and tell her why. Are you close enough to her to tell her that she is messing up her life, her children's lives and her husband's life. How does she feel about what she is doing to her husband.

Any man who would have an affair with a married woman, doesn't love or respect her. He is using her and there are diseases to consider. Will she listen to you? Or better yet, will she seek certified Christian counseling to get to the bottom of why she is doing this. Maybe she wants attention. Maybe her husband is not treating her right.

Answer 4

Prayer is not enough if it was we would not need preachers.
Be patient in this and not only pray for her but pray for yourself for wisdom in handling this.
Turning a friend from making a mistake is a huge thing but just as all of us have sinned dont expect her to listen to you.
Study all the scriptures about adultry in the bible you can you may find the answer to guide her in the right direction.

Remember the laws in the bible or there to prevent hurting others and the Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultry is there so we dont hurt our life long partners.
You might want to ask her how she would feel if her husband cheated on her.

Answer 5

you can pray till the cows come home .
You need to say something.


My parents 25 year marrige fell apart over an affair because no one would confront them.

Just like Dave P said,
This is not a religiouse matter, it's your MORALS and ETHICS.
How can ou properly teach children to do the right thing, if we ourselves aren't able to.

So what your saying is only non-christians have affairs. A bit one sided. She may be yor pastors daughter, but IT IS STILL MORAL BASED

Answer 6

If I were in you situation, I would offer to study with her. Study on random things and sorta just make sure you get to the parts about adultery.

You have two options :You say something about her affair and offer support and she will either-- gets mad and will not be your friend, but it may still have an impact on her later, showing her good values and strong faith.--or she loves you for it- and you help to save her soul.

Either way in the end it could save her...BUT...prayer is always the best way to go. Pray for strength that it may help you to decide and go through with what you feel is best.

Good luck to you and I hope that she understands...I will be praying for you both.

Answer 7

We're not supposed to judge people like that.. You should, however, talk to her. I really hope that it doesn't end your relationship with her, but God will make something good come out of it. She could realize her mistake, or the husband could find out, and it may be devistating, but who could make the same mistake again. No husband wants to see his wife cheating on him, but no mother would want to say goodbye to her family. Sometimes one loses their attraction to their spouse, but I'm sure it's possible to change these feelings. I suppose the husband needs to be aware of why she's doing this, maybe without him knowing about the affair, and he has to change something to make her not want someone else. Sexual attraction makes people do crazy/stupid things. She has to know it's wrong, and she has to know the negative things that can come from it right away, before she ends up losing her whole family.

Answer 8

I personally would do both...no matter how u look at it its just plain wrong and in the end the ones that will be hurt the most from this affair will be the children. I don't think u r judging her at all...God will lead you to do whats right and in this case I think u know the answer to your "question".

Godbless

Answer 9

Its a rough situation with a friend whether you are a Christian or not. Chances are, if you get involved and say something, you are likely to lose your friend.

I would continue my prayers, that is one way for us to deal with OUR feelings as well as to ask for help from God. The only other thing you might think about it approaching her very generically with something like..."I know you have a lot of things going on in your life, I am here if you need to talk." That gives her the opening and permission to come to you if and when she needs to.

Answer 10

well, she might be doing something wrong, to your eyes, and the society, but the whole truth (you don't know why she's doing it), she probably hasn't tell you what's going on for real in her marriage, I don't defend or agree being unfaithful, but there's hundreds of reasons why women or men behave this way, I do live a very hard situation I live with somebody for a whole year(currently), I even had to quit my job, friends, and everything in he keeps accusing me of cheating, when me and GOD knows that I am not doing so which is the next step for anybody (you have to cheat), cause your boyfriend, husband or lover is accusing you 24-7 (so I am about to cheat too). don't blame her, try to find out why she behaves like that.

Answer 11

Any christian specific answer you get is wrong.

This is not a matter of religion, this is a matter of ethics. You need to talk to her about it not from a christian perspective but from a relationship perspective. What she is doing will end up hurting her husband and her children, regardless of how it turns out. Furthermore, it will end up hurting her. She needs to figure out why she got into this and she needs to figure out how to get out of it. As her friend you need to help her in ways that do not involve you or her praying. If you want to pray too, fine, but first deal with it here, not in the hereafter.