When me and my boyfriend started going out (3 yrs ago) he mentioned to me that things between him and his ex (of 8 months)didn't work out because he kep pressuring her to take their relationship to another level but she didn't because she said "she was too young" .He also said that he thought "she was the one" and he would even tell his friends that. Months later into our relationship he started acting the same way with me. Making little comments about having kids and being together forever. And I was open and I told him I know his ex freaked out about that sort of stuff but I was willing and I wasn't afraid. Forward 3 yrs later (a couple days ago) I made a comment about marriage. It wasn't even about us getting married it was something else. HE freaked out on me and starting getting mad saying "Stop talking about stuff like that. I'm 23 yrs old and I don't need to be hearing about that right now."
WHAT?!
2007-03-02 04:28:53 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
So, anyway last night I was feeling very down just remembering what turned into a huge argument by the way. And he asked me what was wrong and I told him I was confused about his reaction that day. I was feeling like maybe he changed his mind. And I brought up that thing about his ex and he said I took it the wrong way. That he never wanted to marry her. That when he said "Take things to the next step" It meant that he wanted them to have a serious relationship but she didn't. She just wanted to date with no commitment. He also said that ofcourse he wanted to marry me one day but he doesn't see why we need to be talking about it. WTF?! Then why would HE always be the one to bring it up? And when I bring it up years later he gets mad? This doesn't make sense! What do you think?
2007-03-02 04:32:53 · update #1
I'm 21, he's 23. Oh no he's not trying to trick me into sex...we're passed that :P
2007-03-02 04:34:15 · update #2
I totally agree Annie!
Also, do you guys think that maybe back then the sound of marriage sounded good because he was having those "I really like this girl" feelings. But now that he sees that it might come true he's scared?
2007-03-02 04:41:10 · update #3
Drop the Zero,
and get with the Hero
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
2007-03-02 04:31:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. You probably need to sit down with him and talk this through. He's obviously not ready for commitment at this point in his life, but he's probably just afraid that you'll leave him like his ex did. He sounds like he has a lot of insecurities. Be sure make it sound like these are your thoughts and that you're not attacking him. Say "I feel" and "I think" more than "you are" or "you make me". Be gentle and kind, and let him know that you're there for him, even if he's not ready yet.
Good luck!
2007-03-02 12:34:20 · answer #2 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life is confusing and over the years we change weather we realize it or not. He may have wanted to settle down in the past, but does not want to now. Why did he snap at you? Thats just wierd to me. Sounds like he is has a secret or something. Something is bugging him.
2007-03-02 12:43:18 · answer #3 · answered by Paul S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guys go with the moment...wateva they feel is right to say at that time they will say it just because...9 out of 10 they dont feel the same the nexy day and thats just men hun
2007-03-02 12:34:41 · answer #4 · answered by sweetpea25609 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in the same situation and I'm only 13. He was 15 and I broke up with him, my opinion is that he's just trying to trick you to have sex.
2007-03-02 12:32:34 · answer #5 · answered by Lexy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is a control issue. He only wants to discuss or consider marriage when HE wants to.
2007-03-02 12:37:52 · answer #6 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax, if your not planning on getting married anytime soon then let it go. 3yrs from now he will probably change his mind again. get used to it, men change their minds every couple of hours.
2007-03-02 12:37:02 · answer #7 · answered by cashis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he knows how much he hated hearing that off his ex and wants to inflict that hurt on you.. i dont know why, maybe he feels hurt still that it happened to him and wants the satisfaction of doing it to someone else.
2007-03-02 12:34:53 · answer #8 · answered by peachesandcream 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before he was young and stupid, now he's not.
If you are in a place in the relationship that he isn't, it's your job to either get over it or move on...not his.
2007-03-02 12:33:12 · answer #9 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he changed his mind, what happen three years earlier? why was there no movement. men are confusing period.
2007-03-02 12:32:59 · answer #10 · answered by CATWOMAN 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋