My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now. He's 22 and I'm 20 (he turns 23 3/12 and I turn 21 5/16). We've talked about getting married for a long time and plan on building a house later in the year. The other night he asked me how old I want to be when we get married. I shrugged saying "I don't know", but to be completely honest, if he were to ask me tomorrow to marry him I'd say yes in a hearbeat. I asked him the same question and he said "I just want to get married before I turn 30!" (he thinks he's getting old). Should I tell him my feelings or let him figure out the right time for us to get married? Is this a sign that he's been thinking about proposing?
And please, no one tell me I'm too young to be thinking about marriage. I've been out of my parents' house for a while now and know all about responsibility and paying bills.
2007-03-02 04:27:06 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
As a matter of clarification for SOMEONE who made an answer: I AM in college and have a great full-time job, he dropped out of high school but has his GED and is working for the railroad as a career.
2007-03-02 04:38:37 · update #1
You're not too young to get married and it sounds like you've put a lot of thought in to - meaning you're not rushing.
I think you should let your boyfriend know that you're ready to get married - if that's how you feel. It doesn't have to take place tomorrow - most engagement last at least a year. Just let things happen naturally. If he's thinking of proposing - I'm sure he'll do it when he's ready and then you can work on setting a date.
2007-03-02 04:33:08 · answer #1 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I tend to follow the "Don't read between lines, what you see is what you get" philosophy with regards to guys comments/questions. It's worked out for me. So, if he asked how old you'd like to be, I'd just try to believe that it was a question and nothing to be read into.
But, I do think that you should be honest. I had a similar experience with that myself recently: my boyfriend graduates college in May of 08 (I graduated last may) and he begins seminary that Sept. So, we've had serious conversations about getting married somewhere in that summer (and we'll be getting engaged whenever he asks me. lol)
In talking about future things, he's asked me sometimes when I'd see myself wanting children: and I really don't want kids till I've been married for a few years; So, I was honest and I said so: turns out he totally agrees.
So, I think sometimes people ask questions just to mentally ensure that both partners are on the same page or to gague where the other one is at with regards to the relationship (without having to have one of those ridiculous 'defining the relationship' talks). Hope that helps. But congrats on finding that great Love! :) and best wishes.
2007-03-02 12:41:20 · answer #2 · answered by Constellation 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in a similar situation. I'm 20 years old too and I've been dating my bf for 3 and 1/2 years. My best advice would be to be honest with him and just tell him that you know he is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with...that way, if he is thinking about proposing, he will have the confidence that you will say yes. Pretty exciting...best of luck!
2007-03-02 12:35:35 · answer #3 · answered by Emily 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how sure you are that he is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Tell him if he asked you to marry him tomorrow, you'd say yes, but that you can wait a few years (or whatever), too. Another idea- You could propose to him when you are ready.
2007-03-02 12:50:35 · answer #4 · answered by gerberdaisy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. Communication is the key in any relationship. I'm 23, will be 24 this August and my fiance is 21 and we are getting married in october. So age has nothing to do with love and how you feel!
2007-03-02 14:05:30 · answer #5 · answered by smilingthru_life 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk about it with him. See if it's something he wants to do. I would do that before you purchase that house with him. I hate the idea that us women have to sit and wait until it's convienat for a man to purpose. Why does there have to be a big purposal, why can't it just be a decision that you and your boyfriend come to.
2007-03-02 12:56:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
COMMUNICATION HONESTY AND TRUST are the keys to a long healthy relationship*
YES, talk to him more and let him know you love him and want to spend your life with him. He may be wondering if you're on the same page he is. Don't ASSUME he knows how you're feeling...you need to tell him* Always Talk Openly and Honestly with your partner. They don't read minds*
GOODLUCK* BEST WISHES*
2007-03-02 12:34:21 · answer #7 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're intending to do this you both should be able to talk it out,make plans,and set the right place and time for the both of you. It's called sharing your lives together. Best Wishes!;-)=
2007-03-02 12:37:47 · answer #8 · answered by Jcontrols 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well its ur desicion.when you ant to get married you can(if you have been asked and yes tell him wut you said bout if he asked you tomorrow you would say yes in a heartbeat
2007-03-02 12:31:39 · answer #9 · answered by xxrlhoodratxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both need to go to college, finish your education, and get your careers going before getting married.
2007-03-02 12:35:15 · answer #10 · answered by Jack Chedeville 6 · 1⤊ 5⤋