He even checks out 16 yr old girls. And he doesn't just check every woman out, he looks at them lustfully, like steaks or new treasures to discover. How do I deal if I have already talked to him about it ? I have already semi accepted it but how do I deal. Whenever we break up I am almost happy but then we get back together ( he wants to and its because I need him soo much ). Any advice is needed. I know I seem to ask the same questions over and am in a un happy rel but I need alot of advice.
2007-03-02 04:20:02 · 18 answers · asked by Kendra H 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Because you're not good looking?
2007-03-02 04:23:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Wow, that is very disrespectful of him. I know that my husband must find other women attractive but I also know that he'd have a knot on his head if he ever gawked at one in front of me. I did have a problem with my ex on the other hand, doing that occasionally. I found that my best remedy was to fight fire with fire and lustfully lock eyes with any good looking stranger that peered into mine (for his viewing benefit only). He couldn't stand it, actually begged me to stop and explained it was terribly degrading to his manhood.
That was the end of his bad habit. From then on as we walked passed women in the mall etc., he may has well have been wearing horse blinders cause he'd keep his little eyeballs straight ahead lol. But sadly if you have to play head games like that to balance your relationship it won't be very conducive to a solid foundation for marriage. I quickly realized that he was not someone I'd marry and moved on.
I mean it's one thing to notice but from your description, seems like he's giving all these women the "bedroom eyes invitation" and right in front of you... red flag! Why do you feel as though you "NEED" him? I think you're letting your desperation for him compromise your self dignity. You say you "semi accept" it but I can promise you that it will wear thin. Your self esteem will dwindle to nothing if you don't demand the respect you deserve.
Have you tried explaining to him that his behavior is hurting you? Maybe he's unaware, maybe he's not. Are you prepared to learn that he's cheated on you? Can you "semi accept" that too? You said yourself, you are in an unhappy relationship, maybe all you need... is to get out of it.
I really don't think any advice you receive here is going to put you at ease unless you are looking for people to tell you his behavior is acceptable and that you're over reacting. I am sure some will but the fact is, it depends on what YOU can live with. I just hope you can learn to think more highly of yourself and in doing so only allow people who reciprocate
with the same measure, into your life. Don't settle for less when you can have more. :)
Good luck & Best wishes!
2007-03-02 05:23:20 · answer #2 · answered by wyld_roze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure how old he is but I am assuming too old to be checking out 16yr old girls since you mentioned it. My advice is that this is a warning sign. I understand men looking, and women too... it's natural and we all should be adult enough to accept it. However, it sounds like he is "scouting" more than looking. I know you say you need him so much, but maybe it's time you take a break and make a pros and cons list as to why you are with him. Needing someone isn't loving someone.....and if there is no trust or respect, no you don't NEED that. Good luck!
2007-03-02 04:25:45 · answer #3 · answered by itsjustme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it back.
If your relationship is happy & secure in every other way then what is the problem with him looking? Surely it's if he did anything more that would be a problem.
I point out men I think are attractive to my fella and he points out women he likes the look of, then we either agree or not and give marks out of 10. That way it's kept light & joky but you need a secure happy relationship to do that.
2007-03-02 04:25:42 · answer #4 · answered by madamspud 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't sound very mature. Most guys will look but they should have the brains to do it discreetly!! If he knows it bothers you and still does it quite openly then perhaps you aren't that well suited. You should not get married. You do NOT NEED him even if you think you do. In fact, if you feel that you need him it isn't the right time to get married anyway. You should feel complete on your own before you can be healthy in a relationship..
2007-03-02 04:25:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is STILL 16 years old, and I think maybe he enjoys getting you jealous or angry by doing this. When he starts drooling in your presence, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of any emotion. I'd ignore it. Personally, he sounds immature and he is hurting you with his actions. I think you should check out some guys and get a new BF.
2007-03-02 04:35:28 · answer #6 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't respect you, that's why. I'm not saying it's not normal to look, but for him to do it so blatantly means he doesn't respect you. Why would you want to be with someone who treats you that way? You should work on your problems and realize that you don't need him. Not trying to be mean, but sounds like you need some help. Get some therapy or counceling. You should only be with someone because you really like them, not because you need them. I bet you are stronger than you think. Probably just need some help seeing that. Good luck.
2007-03-02 04:29:38 · answer #7 · answered by Athena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-05 03:47:37 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does it because he has a penis, and an overactive imagination.
When you notice it call him on it, but don't start a fight. Say something like, "Close your mouth, your tongues hanging out." or "You look like a dog in heat."
Try to make like you're making fun of him, rather than nagging.
Hopefully he grows up and appreciates the woman he's got!
2007-03-02 04:25:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun u said it...key word YOUR FIANCE...he is aloud to l00k...just like u are aloud also...he's l00king but will he ever see these "girls" again? NOPE! and who is he coming home with?YOU! Okay now u have to work on trust...if there is no trust in the relationship you will be l00king for a divorce before u even say i do! Remember you are beautiful inside and out, and you obviously have something he can't never find in another female.
-Carol aka reel talk
2007-03-02 04:27:52 · answer #10 · answered by Diggi Fell 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are being overly sensitive and insecure.
He probably looks at cars , trucks and dogs, too.
and children and old people and anything else that is around him.
And so do you........
And then you have afight
""You were looking at that woman!!"
and he's thinking " what's the deal here , you've checked out every guy you have seen today.........
Advice--lighten up-he's looking at them(same as you) noy asking them out.
2007-03-02 04:49:03 · answer #11 · answered by James A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋