How do you get your child to have positive self esteem and not worry about what other kids say?

Question

My daughter is only 6 and she is so bothered by what other kids say. Like today is dress like Dr. Suess day and she was cute I thought. But the other kids did not dress up and then when i went to school to see her, she had taken her dress up stuff off because kids were making fun of her. No one else dressed up. I said it is because are jealous, that is usually why others make fun of people. But she had her feelings hurt. Should i just let it go, or try to talk to her about it. I know she is young but self esteem is so important in girls later on that I want to let her know starting now that she is her own person. Is that crazy! Thanks. I just hate that kids are hurting her feelings. Thanks.

Answer 1

I really liked the previous answers. I want to add NEVER tell her that the way she feels is silly or ridiculous. That will close up communication so fast it'll make your head spin. I was much like her as a child. I was always told "when they laugh, laugh with them and eventually they'll stop." That advise didn't make me feel any better about myself or others...although when I finally tried it as a teen, it was true. But hurt still hurts!! My child is 7 & has been going through it for a couple years. Please be there for her to talk to. She needs all the true love & support she can get or she will seek ELSEWHERE.
Talk to her doc to see if there is anything you should really watch for or if councilling would be helpful...even if only for you to know how to better help her.

Answer 2

I just take it one incident at a time with my 7 year old. When "Amy" makes fun of her or "Carol" says mean things, etc, I run the same scenario down with her. I ask her what was said, and why it hurt her. I ask her why she thinks they said it. I ask her why their words were so important to her that they hurt her. (I give NO opinions, I just ask questions. I don't always get an answer, but I always ask.)

Then I get a little silly. I say stuff like, "what if Amy told you your mom didn't love you? Would that hurt your feelings?" (Any ridiculous comment a kid might say may be substituted here.) And she'll say no, and I ask her why not. She responds it's because she knows it's not true. (This being the answer I'm looking for.) And I go back to the original questions. Basically I point out that if she knows/thinks/feels something, (such as dressing up in Dr. Suess costumes is fun) then she shouldn't let other people tell her she's wrong.

Slowly, I see her learning to have faith in her own judgement, opinions, and appearance. She lets others get under her skin less this year than last year, and recovers much quicker.

Sorry for the long answer, I hope that makes sense to you. There's no one right way to do it - we just have to try to give them tools they can use without us. Good luck to you.


EDIT: I almost forgot, there is a great book by Max Lucado called You Are Special, which I think you will really enjoy. It's about letting other people's opinions of you dictate how you feel about yourself. My daughter loves it.

Answer 3

Well next time a dress up day comes you can talk to her teacher to see if the other kids dress up or if she has a friend her age you can talk to their parents and let them dress alike that way she has someone doing what she is. Also if she tells you she doesn't wanna wear something because people will make fun of her take her word for it. Don't make her wear stuff you think is cute, because her class mates might not agree and she will just get picked on even more. My little sister got picked on in school and I would try to help her out alot. Also if her school has after school activities such as brownies, jr. pro cheerleading or anything like that see if she wants to do that. It will help her make friends. I hope this helps

Answer 4

kids are cruel!! Do something special for her today, something that makes her feel special. Go out for a new dress, or even just mommy/daughter time sharing an ice cream sundae. Tell her about times when you faced the same thing and how you ignored the people and they stopped.
I deal with the same thing. My daughter is very smart and creative. She is also extremely kind and caring. Her teacher uses her work as example of how it should be done a lot of times and she hates it. Once the teacher saw her getting teased, she stopped, but for a while it was challenging.
I am constantly telling my children how great they are, and giving them praise when they do something right. I have to say they are very confident and most of the time don't take people picking on them anymore, but there's always that one kid.
Keep encouraging her! You don't want her spirit damaged this young! Good luck!

Answer 5

It's something she has to grow into...She'll get it. Just be supportive and teach her not to care what other's think. Everyone is different and her differences make her shine! Someday cool kids will love her for it! The other ones don't matter cuz they are mean.
What is your self esteem like? Kids totally watch you and she is picking up on your vibes. Be an example for her. Dress up ridiculously with her and go out in public to like McDonald's or something. Show her all people stare, even grown ups. But look how much fun we can have!
I'm telling you...living by example is the only way...

Answer 6

Well,just explain to her that the people that are teasing her don't have the kind of parents that she has.We all know that they were being mean,if anything she is the one that should feel sorry for them, because her mom gives her lots of love and maybe the other kids parents don't.Tell her when they make her feel bad to think in the back of her mind that one day they will understand how they made her feel,and they will feel very bad.Good luck.

Answer 7

First of all, you wouldn't be a proper parent if you didn't feel that way. Congrats to you for being such a great parent already!

Now, as for your daughter, it can be difficult being the odd one out. Due to circumstances well beyond my control, I was always the odd one out, and I never felt comfortable with that until my late teens. Many people never grow into themselves. I was lucky to have a lot of family support, and that definitely helped me out a great deal. Eventually, I simply gave up trying to be what everybody else wanted me to be, and I even became rather militant about being myself. (Come to think of it, in many ways, I still am. I never really wanted to be like the other kids, but I hated myself for my lack of social relationships.) I never had a lot of friends, but at some point, I realized that I didn't really want a lot of friends, so long as I had a few that I could cherish, that was plenty for me. It no longer mattered to me if I was part of the "in crowd". I never was anyway, but at least then I didn't care anymore because I had enough pride in myself to be myself without caring what others really thought about me. If you can teach that single thing to your daughter, that its more important what she thinks of herself than what other people think of her, she will grow up to be a very strong woman. It isn't easy to teach because its at least twice as hard to learn, but if you and she can both manage your respective ends of the bargain, she'll do very well for herself, and you'll be very proud of her for it.

I wish you both the best of luck.

Answer 8

confident, as a society, we do. a minimum of sufficient human beings to reason some harm. Trophies for each individual (even final place), enable actual everyone to be on the cheerleader squad (whether they are talentless in this section), substitute the grading gadget to be extra "honest" to the scholars who do no longer choose to study....i ought to bypass all day. What mothers and dads could desire to be doing is placing sensible standards and objectives and searching forward to the youngsters to attain them. Pats on the back and compliment are solid while they attain their objectives. in the event that they do no longer, then some solid encouragement (in one style or yet another) and education must be the respond. As an corporation, i'm seeing further and extra "teenagers" out of school are looking forward to and stressful larger pay and promoting for mediocre paintings. They sense as they are doing me a choose with the help of exhibiting up, even whether that's late. of course, I do enable them to understand that that's no longer how the worldwide works, furnish education to the suitable course, and summarily hearth them in the event that they do no longer improve their strategies-set and paintings ethic. I observed an interview on CNN wherein a sought after college grad replaced into asserting "Employers extra effective get with the situations and understand that we, the extra youthful expertise, deserve further and extra effective than the archaic workers that have been employed for 10 years or extra with a corporation. If the corporation needs to stay in corporation, then they are going to be advertising us past to those dinosaurs and allow our creativity to bypass." i got here across that to be slightly boastful for somebody directly out of faculty, without journey. that's the place the make sure failed and praised their newborn (even while she failed) in that she feels she would be able to do no incorrect. i'm prepared to guess that this actual youthful woman has an fairly tough time dealing with actual existence, and probable won't detect a solid pastime until she learns she would be able to easily get what she fairly merits.