My friends say i am acting desperate when it comes to men. How do I stop this I cant help myself and I know its not attractive and boring! Im in my thirties and scared im going to end up alone. I want a family and kids. Im also really fussy and when I like someone boy do i like them.
2007-03-02 03:19:48 · 5 answers · asked by akaj 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
im only 20 now,i dont know if you will take my advice but to me, i think not chasing after boys is showing respect for yourself. I used to be desperate about boys that I like and they broke my heart so many times. Now I just stop and make them chase after me. I always challenge myself, like trying not to call him in one day, then not for another day,, so on....then I got over it and never called them again
2007-03-02 03:26:42 · answer #1 · answered by kittytie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, BREATHE.
Being in your thirties should be a wonderful time for you. This is the age where the younger guys have finally matured into the men that they will be and are more sure-minded about what they want out of life. They tend to be more stable and more secure than their younger counterparts and that is what they are usually looking for in a partner. Someone fun and confident and secure within themselves.
Desperation stems usually from a lack of self-confidence and fear which you are admitting to feeling so the best thing to do is this: FAKE IT.
You're scared? Act like you aren't. You're insecure? Act like you have all the confidence in the world.
People respond favourably to confidence and assertiveness--within degrees because too much can be a turn off as well. You want to meet a man head on as his equal, not as someone willing to do anything and everything to get a ring on your finger.
Flirt but don't over-do it. Be honest but don't tell him your entire life story in one sitting. Let a relationship unfold by degrees and learn about each other over time. A man wants to feel like he's wanted and desired for more than his protruding body parts and for being the correct sex to legally put a wedding band on your finger.
Be supportive, be thoughtful and be a good listener. It helps if you actually have things in common with him rather than him saying he likes rock climbing and you suddenly think its the most facinating thing in the world. Honesty is a key factor here too.
It never hurts to let a guy know you're interested...but just at that. You are interested--not you are picking out wedding dresses and baby furniture.
Basically, stop and breathe and think things through. Be honest and confident and a little mysterious. Also be a bit challenging. A man has to think you are worth pursuing and to be worth pursung, you have to let him persue--in other words, don't immediately fall all over yourself to accomodate him. I'm not saying play the stupid games women sometimes play like waiting 3 days to call him back after he calls. Just back off and take your time and let a guy get to know you slowly and take it from there.
Good luck!
2007-03-02 11:39:37 · answer #2 · answered by whispersofindigo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being desperate. Build a life for yourself that you can be happy with whether you have a man or not. Your life is now...it doesn't start when you get married. Surround yourself with friends, both male and female. Then, when you do find a man, you'll be happy!
2007-03-02 11:30:52 · answer #3 · answered by janejane 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ever one feels and am afraid to end up alone but seriously the more u are afraid and the more u want ,the more desperate u look. this may or may not help and it dosent sound tat convincing but its Wat I've being doing. go enriched yourself with other things in life ,sport, art ,anything ,just enjoy life tats is more things in life tat u can do. u might get to meet more friends , u may get more attractive when u boost up your self confidence and defiantly u wont look desperate
2007-03-02 11:28:12 · answer #4 · answered by andy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with:
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"Build a life for yourself that you can be happy with whether you have a man or not.
Your life is now...it doesn't start when you get married."
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Stay busy with activities you enjoy.
Make yourself happy!
You are the only one that can!
2007-03-02 11:38:34 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ T O N I ♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋