me and my hubby are about to seperate in the next couple of weeks he is moving out he has cheated on me ALOT and hit's me sometimes we agreed to divorce anyway all of a sudden he comes to me yesterday and says WE ARE! going to church together on sunday we need it..ummmm why would he want to go to church together i am thinking he is trying to work this out but i DO NOT want to i have had it so would it be wrong to say i dont want to go to church with you or is that a sin i mean what do you think?
2007-03-02 02:54:18 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
It's a sin for him to lay his hands on you and violate the laws God made for him. I am a muslim woman, and you hear a lot that men are allowed to beat their wives. The word for that is used 5 other times in the book and not once does it mean strike, so it doesn't mean that either. Men are supposed to care for and maintain women and the children. Him hitting you and treating you like this is going against God. You need to divorce him now, as you've tried everything. But first try quoting scripture to him about how a man is to treat his wife. Show him. If he refuses to look at it, take that as a good sign that is cares little about his responsibility and won't care about his future treatment of you. It's only going to get worse. Soon he'll break bones. Do you have children? If so, do you really want them growing up thinking that his treating you like this is normal? Do you want your son to learn that it's acceptable to hit a woman and that he won't be held accountable for his actions? Do you want your daughter to learn that it's her place in life to be the punching bag? No? Then leave him now. I went through this with my ex husband, and I have never been happier. I control my life, who I talk to, where I go, and everything about my life. Not a control freak.
2007-03-02 09:26:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with not wanting to be in the same building as someone who cheats and hits you. This could also be a way to salvage your spirituality. If you share worship time with someone who has betrayed you the way he has, this can personally ruin the church for you, making worship time a miserable experience for you.
If you don't want to leave the church altogether, are there other services that you can go to separate from the time that your husband goes? If not, there is nothing wrong with staying home while he goes alone. God can hear you just fine from home until you feel ready to go on your own or to another church.
BTW, kudos to you for leaving your abuser. God never intended us to be hurt by the ones we love.
2007-03-02 11:17:39 · answer #2 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well going to church can be a great thing but it sounds more like hes looking for the quick fix, to get you back on board, as well as maybe even challenge his ways. It sounds like hes had experience with the church before and is looking back to it for answers.
While I certainly would not want to discourage you guys from reconciling and going to church (God can heal your relationship) it sounds like in what you have said that he is not sincere and that he blames you as well. Im assuming you have stayed faithful to him and have not done anything like that to provoke the situation or make it worse?
As it stands right now, you have the Biblical right to divorce him if you know hes cheated on you. God is not going to hold it against you. However if you love the man and love God, the greatest thing you can do is work towards restoring your marriage with Gods help and eventually forgive him. And if he wants to change you would be doing a great thing for him by shopwing him that grace. BUT, if he just wants to goto church a couple times to appease you and he is generally insincere about serioulsy giving his life to God and changing for the better, Im afraid that leaves you with little choice. I really hope things work out for ya.
2007-03-02 11:11:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please stay away from this guy. You are a precious human being and you deserve a man who treats you like a jewel. While there is nothing wrong in going to church with him, I firmly believe that you need to end all forms of communication. You must forgive him, but that doesn't mean that you have to be friends with him. Do what you feel what is best in your heart. Don't be forced into doing anything that you don't want to do. That is not a sin.
2007-03-02 11:00:52 · answer #4 · answered by Ayesha 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he's *ordering* you to go to church shows he is still in controlling mode. That's a classic sign of an abuser. If he hits you "sometimes," he will hit you more. Continue with the divorce proceedings.
You do not have to attend church with him. Just tell him that if you want to go to church, you'll go alone, or to one of your own choosing. If he continues to bother you, tell him you'll start looking into a restraining order.
Don't let him bully or push you into anything you don't want to do.
2007-03-02 11:08:37 · answer #5 · answered by milomax 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are only two waqys actually to be out of a marriage 1 death 2 adualtry has either one of you done these okay so he is in hopes of maybe by some shead of light saving what you two have or he is just feeling really guitlty on what he has done in either sence the choice is yours the ball is in your corner sort to speak of if you choose to forgive him and give him another chance then more power to you okay and the same goes for the latter also if you choose to leave go in peace because he has done one of the two against you
2007-03-02 11:03:23 · answer #6 · answered by THE WAR WRENCH 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In Proverbs 18:22 " Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth a favor of the Lord ." Maybe your husband has heard or wants to hear the word of God to for his life to change. He is your husband , go with him to church (preferably a bible believing church) and hear the word of God. Hopefully the word will take hold of both your souls and hearts and you will come to know Christ better and yourselves also.Seek the Lord while he may be Found ,call ye upon him while he is near. You have my prayers.
2007-03-02 11:07:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he hits you, go to the police and get a restraining order. You don't need to endure that kind of abuse. If you want to go to church, go by yourself. But stay away from that creep.
2007-03-02 10:58:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give it a chance! Unless he perpetually does this sort of thing (you know the sin cycle):
Good -->sin/cheat/abuse -->says he's sorry & begins to work on it --> sin/cheat/abuse --> says he's sorry... (repeat)
Biblically you are permitted to divorce him, because of adultery- but it would be BETTER for you to at least give him a chance. You may be happy you did.
If I were you, I would give it one more chance but:
1. Let him know this is his last chance. No more adultery, no more hitting of you or the kids.
2. Tell him he has to go and see the pastor for marriage counseling on a consistant basis. If he stops going, you are gone.
Hope this helps. I see a lot of this in my line of work.
2007-03-02 11:03:58 · answer #9 · answered by Jeff- <3 God <3 people 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Seems like your soon-to-be ex got some old time religion in his anger management class and somehow thinks that will solve all your problems. It won't. He's not going to change and you need to protect yourself.
Good luck and stay strong.
2007-03-02 10:59:54 · answer #10 · answered by mzJakes 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋