engagement ring?

Question

what should you do if you really don't like your engagement ring, and only wear it so that you don't hurt any feelings. It would be rude to turn around and say i don't like this ring that you went out and chose for me. do i just keep quiet.

it's complicated because although i really don't like the style, I love him and would never want to hurt him in anyway. so i suppose i will just have to forget about it , after all its only a ring.

Answer 1

Well...honesty and understanding are two of the major factors in a relationship so....if you are HONEST enough to tell your partner he/she will surely be UNDERSTANDING enough!!!

Answer 2

This is tough. It isn't only a ring. Its a symbol of your unending love for each other. The problem is is that most guys STRUGGLE to buy a ring and they put a lot into it. While you don't want to hurt his feelings you do want to look at the ring and and be proud. Two suggestions, first you could say for your wedding ring you would rather modify your engagement ring. I have a friend that did that and it seemed to work out well. Use the diamond he picked up and get a different band. Or for an anniversary present down the road you could suggest "upgrading" your ring. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Talk to belzonaclay....people are advising him to buy the ring FIRST.

This is a sticky situation but you can get through it.
You will slightly hurt your fiance's feelings but if you handle this delicately, you can get the ring you want.
And no, you aren't being ungrateful, selfish, or rude. Unless this is over the SIZE of the stone.

This isn't the movies where the girl always says yes, the ring is the perfect size, style; that the guy knows her soooo well. etc. But we buy into that.

Your fiance liked this style. Or maybe the jeweler convinced him that SHE would 'die-for-a-ring -like-this' so he bought it.

Before anymore time goes by, sit him down & tell him you love him dearly, that there is nothing you want to do more than share your entire life with him, but he missed the mark with the ring.
Call the jeweler & tell them you need to exchange the ring. Then go with your fiance. Your fiance may feel embarrassed for the price he paid for the ring or that he didn't know you as well as he thought. But he needs to also understand that this is a ring that you will wear for the rest of your life! And I'm sure he wants you to be happy with it.

This is just one of many times that this will happen to the both of you during your life together.
This man is going to be your husband; you need to be able to be open & honest & communicate......this is a minor problem compared to some of those you will face together.
Take a deep breath & jump in.

Answer 4

You just can't be thankful for having a ring? Your man went out and bought a symbol of his love for you. He purchased what he liked and if you thought he couldn't handle the job then at some point in time you should've taken him out and gave him ideas to work with. But instead of being happy with what you have you have to complain. Why not just give the ring back and forget about it all together? You seem like the type of person you think that life is all about you and only you. Tell your man that he deserves better than you and he needs to move on. He needs to be with someone that will appreciate what he's done and not look at the whole thing as a materialistic thing like you're doing. You're materialistic. Grow the hell up before you hurt your mans feelings.

Answer 5

Oh you have to say so!!

I know heaps of people are going to say I'm being harsh but its you that has to walk round for the rest of your like with a ring on your finger that you dont really like the look of.

Plus - if you cant be honest with each other at the start of your relationship before you tie the knott, it doesnt bode well for the next 60 years.

And (oh I could go on and on but I wont I promise), Im sure whoever bought you the ring bought it to make you happy and that they'd rather you say if you dont really like it so that it can be swapped for something you both will love.

Having said all this if its a family heirloom that you've got on your finger - best keep quiet, you dont want to be upsetting the in-laws!!

Good luck whatever you decide on!!

:)

Answer 6

There are nice ways to tell your fiancee that you don't like the ring. I would feel weird about it, too, but I would probably tell him anyway because little things like that drive me crazy. If he spent a lot of money on it, he wants you to LOVE it. Just say something like, "Honey, I love how much you love me and I love how you want me to be happy with the ring, but it's just not really my style, and I want something that better reflects me as a person."

Also, can you just alter the ring without getting a new one. Like keep the setting, and get a different diamond?

What does it look like? Just curious :)

Answer 7

Exlain to him that you like the ring, but not the setting.
Take it to a jewellers (or birmingham jewellery quarter) and have the ring re made. Either have the stone in a different shank or something added and taken away. Should only cost about £150 to get it done if its just the stone into a different shank as well.
That way your still keeping the ring just changing it.

Answer 8

No, it would NOT be rude for you to say you don't like something.

Honesty is honesty is honesty.

Some people say that the truth hurts. The fact of that matter is that if something hurts your feelings by saying something, then it must be true.

I have learned a lot about the man you want to marry just from the ring he gave you.

And it isn't a very good picture.

Any man who proposes to any woman who doesn't first find out exactly what kind of engagement ring and, later, wedding ring the woman would like to be seen wearing is guilty of the cowardice of ambushing his beloved into saying yes by not giving her ample opportunity to be able to think about it and mull things over and come up with any and every reason she might come up with for declining his proposal. Ambush proposals usually lead to disasterous marriages, prone to divorce.

This, to me, indicates that your beau is terrified that you might reject him and he is making all the choices so that you won't get a chance to tell him no.

That is NOT the portrait of an emotionally mature and stable man.

On the other hand, any woman who expects a man to give her a band set that is beyond his ability to afford is likely to be just as malcontent with his income as well, which, also is a recipe for disaster and divorce.

Any and all ritualistic jewelry swapping should be discussed to a considerable measure before the wedding occurs.

What I would do, if I were you, is I would tell him that you've decided that you aren't as ready to be married as you thought, and ask him if you could go back to being unengaged -- NOT to go seeing other people, or anything -- just to take your relationship back down a notch, and take as much time as you'll need to go about getting to know the guy and letting him know more about yourself, and talk to him about the kind of ritualistic jewelry the two of you should swap, and everything else, before you'll decide to accept his future proposal.

If the guy loves you, his feelings might be hurt, and they might hurt a lot, but, he'll see the wisdom in your ways.

If not... did you really want to be with a guy you couldn't trust to accept your honesty?

Answer 9

Just be honest otherwise you are deceiving him. I bought my now wife and engagement ring which was too small (we were 400 miles apart at the time and I had to guess) We went to the jewellers and she liked one with diamonds a bit bigger and asked if she could have that one so I said yes as I wanted her to be happy and paid the extra for it. Only problem would be if yours was a family heirloom.

Answer 10

From a mans point of view, if you both went and chose a new ring together and then he re proposed then this would be better. To me it's all about the ring i proposed with, but i wouldn't mind changing it, i'd never want my wife to wear a ring all her life just to avoid upsetting me.

Answer 11

You should wear it and be happy. It's not about the ring, it's about the symbol of the ring- love, commitment, trust, etc. Someone loves you enough to spend the rest of their life with you. You can always help pick out the wedding ring if that's what is important to you.