how do I get my boyfriend to forgive and forget and let go of the thoughts in his mind all the time?

Question

I told my boyfriend about an old friend of his that I dated a few times.I told him what a lousy kisser he was,that he kissed with his mouth wide open and jamed his tonge down my throat.Ever since I told him that my boyfriend can,t stop thinking about it and has problems kissing me even tho he loves me deeply.It,s tearing us up and If he can,t get over this I feel we will not be able to go on.We live together and we don,t get much sleep because of this. What can I do? I love him so much and I don,t want him to move out.That other person lives in my park which dosen,t help.I have my place for sale but I,m not sure if moving away is going to end this problem for us. Help!!!

Answer 1

If he can't get over something as stupid as a guy you once dated, before him, he's not going to be able to handle any real problems that come up in the relationship. Find a new guy or seek couple's therapy.

Answer 2

Hmm, at first I thought you were going to say you slept with this other guy. In that case, I would understand your boyfriend's pointof-view. However, it was just a kiss, and while it was probably foolish of you to tell him the details, what's done is done, and your boy should be over it by now, especially since you said you didn't like it.

How long has it been since you told him about this? If it's only been weeks, then I say just give it time. If it's been months, then I'm thinking you guys need to sit down and really talk about it. Just reassure again that you didn't like this other guy and you didn't have the chemistry that you two have. If he can't get over it after that, then you might want to consider a break. You don't want to waste your time with someone that won't forgive you for something that's so insignificant. I'm a true believer that there's NOT just one person out there for everyone. I'm sure you love him, but if the relationship won't ever be the same, it's time to move on.

I hope he can get over it, though. It was just a kiss! And weren't cheating on him, either!

Answer 3

men need to believe that their woman is their woman, never touched by anyone they will ever know or talk to. it is his human (and totally normal ) instinct to be protective of you, but you have taken that opportunity away from him. just from reading your blurb, i think that your relationship isn't quite as loving and loyal as you think. for instance: why would you tell him that at all, much less with such detail? because you are insecure about your relationship and wanted to experiment with his emotions in the hopes of getting a jealous reaction. jealousy is something that should be kept out of a relationship at all costs. it destroys trust, and no relationship can be built without trust. its like purposely starting rust on your car, what would you think the outcome of your car rusting would be? also, a person who loves you deeply wouldn't have trouble kissing you. you sound very young, and like you are experimenting with love relationships, and trying to sound older and wiser than you are. the problem is yours, not your boyfriends. you have to fix it, if you can, by growing up. i would also guess that your boyfriend is wondering if you are sleeping with this guy currently. do you speak to this other guy? if you do, you re done. show your love with loyalty, and dont mess with peoples emotions for personal gain.

Answer 4

Talk to him, you are with him, and that is where you want to be. You felt that you were close enough, and your bond was strong enough that you could be open and honest with him. It is in the past, and he and you are in the present, the here and now.

At the time you had no commitment to him, nor were you going out with him at the time, so you can't be condemed for something prior to going out with him. There is nothing between you and your old boyfriend, I'm sure that is what is going through his head. You need to be blunt and honest, there is nothing between the two of you, and you are crasy about your boyfriend.

Answer 5

I would have to say that that is a little immature. I am not sure how old you guys are but if this is the worst thing that has happened in your relationship you should consider yourselves lucky not be breaking p over it. It was a little kiss from your past, and am i to believe that he has never kissed anyone else????? If he doesn't want to be with you over that my be it is time to find someone a little more mature!

Answer 6

Gee!! And you told him that guy made you sick too. He sounds much too insecure for me. What if you had told him about someone you just liked? He is too jealous and you don't have to feel guilty for anything. Your boyfriend is gonna be hard to live with and you could probably do better. Sorry.

Answer 7

this proves that somethings are better left unsaid. things like this u should keep to yoursef. now if u told him of this guy u dated with the same problem years ago. and he had no clue who he was it would be fine. but remember when opening up things like this that hit to close to home are better off kept private

Answer 8

huney its natural for gus to feel grave jealously over another man whos been with his woman its just the fact that yall need to really communicate about it, and i know its not goin to be easy but u have to try push through and focus on the future try to explain to him that everyone has ex's and that theres nothing between the two of yall anymore and that u really do love him! best wishes...follow your heart!

Answer 9

this is how you do it talk him out on a mind naming weekend of sex and drinking then he will forget everything. good time to do this is St. Patty day then when he wake on Monday everything should be back to normal. Good luck. ( this is a Joke ) let time take care of it and show he how much you love him more then his old friend. good luck

Answer 10

I would have never told him about another guy I dated, Especially how he kissed. I think moving would probably help out. but learn from this mistake... good luck to you....