Why is it so hard to get a girl?

Question

i really like to find a girlfriend, but theres on big problem,

i try to talk to many different girls when i'm in a club or pub,
but they always seem not intrested in me,
i always be myself but, i'm little shy, so i do go red in the face,

i'm a 20 year old boy normal boy without the good looks,
with most girls my age want good looks,
so that is me out of the question

i think i have a good dress sence,
i have a normal hair cut,

so why is it to hard for girls to give me a change,

what am i doing wrong girls
what should i do to get your attention,

Answer 1

If you're looking for a girlfriend, (as opposed to wanting to cop off with someone for the night etc) there are better places to look than in a pub / club. These places sort of lend themselves to choosing someone with good looks. Try going to salsa lessons (you get to meet and talk to lots of women) talk to women in a supermarket (you can usually have a pretty good shot at seeing who's single from the shopping basket) or a club / society which encompasses your interests, (if your hobbies are reading comics or football the odds unfortunately aren't in your favour).

How do you start talking to women. Catch their eye and smile. (practice your smile in the mirror to ensure that it doesn't make you look like a psycho). They probably won't smile back, but you know, you can smile at an awful lot of people. Don't worry too much about whether you're immediately attracted to them. By smiling at them, you're not locking yourself into a lifelong commitment. It actually may be better to practice with women that you don't find immediately attractive, partly because you'll be less nervous, but mostly because you really shouldn't be judging others on looks if you're looking for a girlfriend, i.e. someone that you're fairly compatible with.

If they do smile back, talk to them, and do not use chat up lines.

I must make this clear. I'm not saying that this is a way to pick up or chat up women. It's the exact opposite. For instance if you go to a salsa club in order to do that, you'll be spotted a mile off. But if you talk to women and smile at them at a salsa lesson because you like talking to women, and most importantly because you like dancing, then you'll be fine. Salsa is just an illustration of the fact that you must put yourself in situations that you enjoy that just happen to involve talking to women.

Lastly read a book called 'flirt coach' by peta haskell, or similar books by her). This will be of widespread use to you, and will teach you much more than simply how to flirt. You really must do this first.

Alternatively, if I've misread your email, and you do just want to pick up women, read "The art of seduction' by Robert Greene, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Answer 2

Clubs and pubs are not a good way to meet a girlfriend. The best way to meet like-minded people is in a more structured social setting where you can get to know people better.

If you are interested in hill-walking, salsa (swing tango) dancing, music, amateur theatre, literature, crafts, travelling, singing, languages..... anything really. Search the internet for classes, groups and organisations that do these things and join in. Drama and dance groups especially are always short on straight men and all girls like a guy who is in a band.

Another option is to go to events like speed dating or singles nights where there are girls who are looking for boyfriends. Then you know why they are there and there is no need to find out if the are available, just out with the girls etc.

Best of luck!!!

Answer 3

Your first problem is looking for a "girlfriend" at a bar or club. The girls at clubs/bars are there to have a good time, so treat it as such. With that said, wait towards the end of the night when the girls are pretty buzzed and plastered, then go for the kill and swoop one off her feet. You'll still have to do some work in a sense of saying the right things but it should still work out in the end. Good luck mate.

Answer 4

Obviously, girls are not interested in you because you don't have what they want or need from a man.

And it's not your good looks or your ability to please women in bed that I'm talking about here. Women usually want a lot more than that from a man.

Money and high social status is what gets the lady's attention every time. And if you don't have that, then you are out of luck.

Well, not completely out of luck. Due to economic inequalities between various countries, perhaps you can increase your chances of getting a lady you like by travelling to another country, where your money and social status as a western foreigner will make you attractive to local women.

Answer 5

Since I'm a lady, I think this question is easier for me to answer.
Firstly, learn to read positive signal. In a pub, girls who are interested in you will send you subtle signals like looking at you and looking away, if you don't catch it and approach another, this girl will be turned off by your action.
I find guys attractive when they flirt, they dont' flirt with an intention to look for a girlfriend.Hence, don't look for girlfriends intentionally, go there with an intention to have fun, when you do that, u're having a great time, you exludes confidence and ladies are attracted to guys with confidence.The thing why most people felt that guys with looks are what girls want because they have the charm and confidence. Last but not least, girls are turned off by guys who chase girls using fishing net. This means if this one fails, you go to the next, it makes her feel that she's a replacement for the previous one.

Answer 6

Just be yourself and the right girl will come along. Looks aren't an issue, and if they are, would you really want to be with a shallow girl like that anyway? Instead of talking to girls, why don't you smile at them and see how they react. If they're interested they'll come and talk to you. the important thing is to relax. If you come over too keen it could put girls off. Give subtle compliments and keeps things casual. ask if they're having a good time etc. Hope this helps.

Answer 7

I used to get that all the time, the whole red in the face. Use it in your favor, mention the fact that she's making you nervous you're blushing in front of her. Most girls I've said it to find it funny, cute, and sincere, since it is really obvious it is sincere. It works too, maybe your problem is that you just can't loosen up. Talk to a girl not with the intention of getting with her, talk to her like you're trying to make a new friend. If you get the pressure to impress out of your head you will be more yourself, good luck.

Answer 8

I can tell your problem is you are thinking of girls attraction to you in terms of logic. (If I'm nice they will should like me) That is what your mother told you but in the real world it doesn't work that way. Understand every women has her "type" of dudes she will take home. It really don't matter how nice or what type of line you have. I'm black and many white women will not date a black man regardless of how nice or smooth I am. Many women won't date short men period. The worst advice someone could tell you is be funny. You always hear women say "I want a guy to make me laugh" If this was true Gilbert Gottfried would be dating models not Kid Rock.

Answer 9

Your first problem is that you don't want to meet a girl in a club or pub. When people are out like that they aren't necessarily their true selves. Looks are very highly regarded in our society (much to my dismay) but you don't want a girlfriend who is all caught up in appearances. I find that that more I get to know a guy and his personality... that his looks change to me. Like a really hot jerk becomes ugly and an average joe starts to be really hot. You've just not met the right girl. Try to meet people through friends, or at coffeehouses, places where you can really get to know people's personality.

Answer 10

hey pal,be glad tat at least u are just a normal average looking boy. tats more people with lower criterias then u so dun worry ,but seriously it depends wat kind if girls u r looking for ,serious? or not serious? lol
looking for a gf in pub?club? lol guys and girls go there to play not to find commitment boy .but if u r out for fun tats de right place,learn the art of conversaction and there u got it .how? first STOP giving them the feeling that u r so in need of a gf ,dun give them de feeling tat u will do anything for them as long as they take a few more glance at u ,instead make them want u. but if u are looking for something serious ,then just sit back and do ur normal stuff and just wait ,when it comes it comes .