teenager/adolesence?

Question

I have already asked a question on my granchild 13years old,but there is one more i would like to ask,as the answers i got are very helpful,exept for the odd one.my grandson is at times very loving ,very sensative.and tells people he loves them.The next minute he will turn into the child from hell.Hes nasty wants his own way shouts talks to you like you are something at the bottom of my shoe.I love my grandson with all my heart but sometimes the way he talks to me and the dirty looks he gives i dont like him much at all, I am making excuses for him all the time because i am hoping he will calm down when he gets through puberty.When he has calmed down after his angry hour he gets so upset and starts crying. Ihate to see him like this,but i also hate the way his moods are is this natural or is he just spoilt, and doing this for attention

Answer 1

You said it - it's puberty. Don't you remember the horribleness of it all?

I remember that black, black anger sitting like a hole in my chest. I couldn't breathe. I wanted my whole family to die. But then I needed their love and support like a little baby. I needed to be loved and reassured that I was beautiful, normal. And that is how you flick from one to the other adult to baby in a moment. You don't know where you are or what you are supposed to be. You want to kiss girls/boys/gils arrgghh you don't know and no-one understands how awful it feels to be you.

I would suggest making sure he eats regularly and healthy food - the sugar highs and lows for teens and especially boys are incredible. Give him space to be angry and hurtful - he doesn't really mean it but like a two year old sometimes it feels like the only way to be heard. As granny you can can be there to provide a vent on his frustrations at his parents and a bit of understanding. Don't tease him about his friends (male or female) but let him know that relations between people haven't changed that much since you were a girl - maybe show him pictures of you and your friends back then when he is in a receptive mood (say things like ooh I did fancy him, funny, can't remember his name now) to show that you can get over love affairs. Try not to take it too personally.

Yes he is doing it for attention, but not in the way you mean I think. Again, like a toddler he's trying to find his way in the world and its a confusing, horrible time. I wouldn't want to be in my early teens again for anyone. There is so mch pressure from parents to be good and good at school, so much pressure from peers to be cool and not so good at school, so much pressure from society that see our young men as a curse and to be avoided or feared. Poor love - I just want to give the poor lad a hug now.

Answer 2

My dear you are not alone. I have a friend that is going through the same thing right now with her boy. He is 13 also.She is sometimes in tears. I also have to boys my oldest breezed though but my 14 year old was haveing some troubles last year. Each child is different and when they are going though puberty so just whisk through it and other have a real hard time with it. It's in some ways similar to when women go though menopause.
I would suggest sitting him down and having a
heart to heart with him. Tell him your feelings. Ask him to tell you his feeling and when you do tell him that he won't get into any trouble if he confides in you that is the most important thing to remember, Not getting angry and defensive at what he is telling you.Just listen and wait til he is finished and than talk about it together.
I am sure in time he will grow out of it.
Hope this helps

Answer 3

Its the classic signs of puberty. His hormones make him feel emotional and mixed up inside. Its anger coupled with frustration that no-one understands you followed by the guilt of being so mean to people you love for no reason. He will grow out of it and i find the best possible thing you can do is ignore his behaviour. Shouting back at him and attempting to current the e behaviour will only make his anger worse, getting upset will only make his guilt worse and telling him off will only add to his frustrations. My younger sister was a terrible teenager but since she turned 18 she's a changed person, so much calmer and grown up. just be patient. Its a difficult, horrible time and your grandson has a lot fo emotions to deal with.

Answer 4

firstly, this should not be your problem to solve. it seems as if you have a lot to do with this lad, maybe his parents both work or he has a single parent trying to keep a roof over their heads?
you see many classic examples of people trying to do 'the best' for their children, admirable as it may be, sometimes what children need is to feel secure and loved, instead of working all hours they can just so they can afford the latest pair of nike trainers....simply spending more time with the kids can make a big difference, so what if they dont have the latest designer gear?
most of my generation lived on hand downs and cheaper stuff and we survived, true, we had our moments as 'rebels' but this is really a teenage thing that no one can stop, all you can do as a parent is your best and give plenty love and attention when needed.
doctors and drugs i would advise against, teens need to go through this phase as toddlers need to go through the 'terrible two's' stage, although in extreme cases a professional opinion and aid can help.

Answer 5

Teaching yr grandson by giving him excuses is not good at all. One day he will teach you back the same way. Teach him with lots of explaination is one of the reason.
His not spoil yet, he still can be help, dont just ignored him, if you keep continuing giving him excuses he will grow up with a habits of the same thing.Teach him to be more on understood everything happen with a good reason. Later he wont blame you or anybody .

Answer 6

the behaviour you describe is called mood swings & in my experience it is caused not so much by raging hormones, far more by built-up resentment towards someone in his life, perhaps a parent - his home-life could be causing him stress & or problems at school? He sounds close to the end of his tether.
See if you can spend some time with him, & try to get him to open up a bit more with you...
Ultimately, you need to find a way to get him to deal with his stress, so he doesn't become abusive...
XX

Answer 7

It's normal to a point. He needs to learn to control himself and to take responsibility for his actions and words. He'll start to grow out of it around 16 years old. Goodluck.

Answer 8

try to take him to a doctor...my cousin's boy was the same way and she took him to the dr and they gave him some pills but i will tell you they were some type of drugs taht will calm him down...but it worked...try it ....it might work for your grandson as well

Answer 9

he will grow out of it. he is a teenager, poor sod dosent know how he feels from one moment to the next, its a tough old world out there for them, confusing. just be there, ignore the crap, he will grow up fine