My ex-wife been together for at least 11 years. We are both 33. We got married 3 years ago. Before we got married, we talked about if we have to have kids and we both decided that we want kids. After being married to her, she's been pushing the issue to get kids. I told her that I don't want kids. She file a divorce recently. I thought that she love me enough not to get a divorce and support my decision about not having kids. I love her so much. How can I tell her to take me back? Should I just tell her that I want kids even though I don't want the kids just to keep her in my life? If she does takes me back, I would have kids with her even though I didn't want it. I miss her so much. I always been loyal and faithful to her. I'm willing to have kids with her just to keep the love of my life in my life. I still don't want kids but I love her too much. Is it worth it to do that?
2007-03-02 02:04:39 · 14 answers · asked by Mr Guy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I am just curious to know, why you are so against having children?
I think that this is something that you all can work out, a relationship takes compromise.
This is obviously something that is really serious to her. I think that once you all talk about what is your reasons for not wanting to have any children then you all will be able to go from there.
Don't bring innocent lives into the world that you don't want.
But to be honest, babies are a blessing. I think that you will be more than happy once it gets here.
2007-03-02 02:09:30 · answer #1 · answered by Ms Brown Eyez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all it doesn't sound like maybe you were nice about your decision about children. If it was a situation where you told her "it is what it is, take it or leave it" then that's different. I would suggest going to a counselor and trying to figure out why you don't want children. Could be that you are afraid of making the same mistakes your parents did or there may be a reason behind your decision. Be honest with her.
If she filed for divorce then she must have really been hurt. I wouldn't go back to her and just say I want kids now. I would be prepared to answer why you have changed your view. It is very unfair of you to keep children from her life. It is more so unfair to yourself!
Good Luck!
'-)
2007-03-02 10:10:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a girl wants kids, she wants kids! Its like every womans dream...get married, raise a family..etc. If my man were to tell me he didnt ever want kids..as much as I love him, I would have to leave... I want kids more than anything one day! You dont watn to make a precious little angel with this woman that you love so dearly? It could be a wonderful experience for you both! If you dont want kids I suggest you move on and find your woman that doesnt want kids either. If you decide you are ready or you will just do anything for this woman...than get her back and have kids with her. Which it might be too late now, because you should have decided that before the divorce. But, you never know....anythign is possible. Just live your life to the fullest, you only get one! Good luck
2007-03-02 10:13:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You deceived her. You yourself told her in the beginning that you wanted kids yet suddenly changed your mind once she married you. I applaud her for filing a divorce. You shouldn't lie about such a big thing. And no, telling her you're now willing to have kids to "keep her" in your life is not a good idea. You're trying to fix one lie with another. That's no better than a woman faking a pregnancy to try and hang on to a man. In other words its pathetic! Get a clue. She thought you loved her enough to be honest with her but all you did was lie to get what you want and now you've wasted her time. She has every right to be upset with you and definitely has grounds for divorce because you seriously misled her.
2007-03-02 10:24:35 · answer #4 · answered by ♪ ♫Jin_Jur♫ ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but having kids for the sake of keeping your wife is not a good idea.You should have kids because you want them, not to keep someone in your life.
I love my children dearly, but kids are TONS of work. I wonder if you had children if you would grow to resent them, and/or your wife. Would you even help her raise them? She will need you in more ways than one when the baby arrives! If not, then you would be heading for a divorce anyway, and hurting an innocent child in the middle.
Personally, I think kids are totally worth it, and I love that they are a little bit of me and my husband. But if you do not feel that way, please do not have a child right now. You will be hurting more than just the marriage, you will break up a family.
in my prayers.
2007-03-02 10:16:28 · answer #5 · answered by chickemama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You told her at first you wanted kids....You know, children end up being pawns in a lot of divorces and we wonder why our kids act the way they do...Well, this is a decision of your life....Either you want them or you don't ...She will need your help as the babies daddy when she starts to have them. If you are not into it then continue with the divorce because a woman is entitled to have babies...Women are brought up as little girls holding baby dolls and loving those baby dolls like they are their own real babies...If you prevent this from being a part of her life, she can always have a future with someone else that loves her enough to have a nice loving family with her...You are being very selfish...you are making your stories to be whatever she wants just to keep her....believe me, you are not worth her time buddy
2007-03-02 10:12:11 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Minnie Mouse♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids are in her dreams and she is getting older now so the time is really running out. Telling her initially that you wanted to have kids with her probably peaked her interest in you even more and deepened the love. I want kids so bad one day too and could never be with someone who did not share that interest. It is a beautiful thing for sure, but if it's not what you want, set her free so she can be happy.... she will never be happy being deprived of this amazing gift.
Perhaps try counselling and figure out why it is that you don't want kids anymore.... do you know what your reasoning is?
2007-03-02 10:10:34 · answer #7 · answered by Betty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe try couples counseling. talk to her. let her know that your still in love with her. on the other hand, if before you got married you decided to have a family and that was the agreement, then you changed your mind, thats not really fair to her. and she has every right to leave you. dont have kids to so shell take you back, because in the end you will just end up resenting thoes children and end up back in the same situation you are in now. and that is not fair or right to any one involved. if you knew you didnt want a family, you shouldnt have agreed to it before marriage. to me thats saying you told her you wanted them just so she would marry you and that is not right at all. im not trying to be mean, but thats just what i think.
2007-03-02 10:12:24 · answer #8 · answered by Awesome Rockin Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but the kids issue is a deal breaker for a woman her age.
She is better off with someone that wants babies. Very smart lady by the way.
Let go and move on.
2007-03-02 10:35:01 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her this!!! I think the fact that you are ready to do anything just to stay with her should change her mind. This shows that you really love her. However she may still want kids so it would be your sacrifise. But if you trully love her I think it's worth a try.
2007-03-02 10:11:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋