Do you think Children are better off in Daycare or at home with a Parent?

Question

A lot of people seem to have this Anti-Daycare attitude. For my wife and I, we've found that Daycare provides structure, social outlets, and great support for our daughter. Our daughter is very well behaved, and happy. Meanwhile, our nephews have a stay at home mom. They're rambunctious, whiney, and disobedient. So, obviously keeping kids at home isn't always the best situation.

What do you guys think from your own experiences? Are kids in Daycare better adjusted than kids who stay at home with a parent?

Answer 1

I run a home daycare and I would say as long as the daycare is a good one then daycare can be a great experience. It gets the child an opportunity to play and interact with other children their age. And teaches them early on...they are ready for pre school and kindergarten. There are rules to follow and they get used to that.

And so that means that my children stay home but that is different because technically they are in daycare too. They have to follow the same course and rules through out the day. And theya re well behaved when other children leave.

Now as for being a stay at home mom without a daycare like schedule and rules...most kids dont listen and act right unless the mom is putting her foot down and giving them something to do. They get bored and act up. They dont listen once they wont ever again. If the mom is a good mom who doesn't just sit around and let the kids do what ever...it can be good to be a stay at home mom.

Answer 2

I honestly believe that it depends on the family and the parents. If you are just going to let your kids run hog wild all over the house all day long and not interact wtih them and structure the day, then day care is going to benefit the child more, but if you are the type of parent who teaches their kids and plays and has play dates for their kids, then staying at home is 100% the way to go.

In some situations though staying home just isn't possible. My son goes to a small in-home daycare. There are only 3 other infants their with him. I tried the larger daycare center at first (it was recommended to me) and was very unhappy with how my son was treated and the lack of one on one interaction that he received. I removed him and placed him in this smaller daycare and I am more than pleased.

What is necessarily right for some families and children, isn't the perfect situation for another family. That is one thing that we all need to realize. You will find that there can be negative aspects on both sides of this arugment, but do what you as a parent feel is best for your child.

Answer 3

I have a 2 1/2 year old son and I am a SAHM. When he was 9 months old I created a playgroup, the only one in our town, so parents can share advice, get out of the house, and kids can socialize and learn to share.
My son is now in preschool (2 hours on Friday mornings) and I think it has helped him a lot. I cannot count the number of times family, friends and strangers have commented on his wonderful behavior. Even at the doctor's office, grocery store, etc.

With that said, I do not think that your nephews are rambunctious, whiney and disobedient because their mom stays home with them. Do you think your daughter would act like that if you or your wife stayed home? If you said no, then I don't think her behavior and happiness is all due to the wonderful daycare she is in. Give yourselves some credit here.
I am really tired of people saying daycare is bad and neglecting or saying that staying home is smothering and spoiling. In my opinion, kids act like that due to the PARENTING. Its as simple as that. If you aren't consistent with discipline, your child will act out. If you don't give them enough attention because you are watching TV all day instead of teaching and interacting, they will act out. So it is only obvious to me that keeping kids at home isn't always the best situation IF you don't act like a parent and play with the child, teach them colors, shapes, the alphabet, numbers and what is right and wrong. But I wouldn't say that its not best in general...

If you can't afford to stay home, then daycare is obviously the best option if you don't have a baby sitter you can trust. But if you can afford to stay home and choose to do so, then do it with the intent of helping your child grow and develop, not to have some sort of "vacation" in your pajamas all day long.

I don't see a reason to have an anti-daycare or anti-stay-at-home attitude. Whenever I hear someone bash one or the other, I just think they are jealous of those that are able to do it, whether it's stay home with the child or balance work and parenting.

I also think that kids are "better adjusted" when they have unconditional love, appropriate discipline and their parent's time and attention, no matter who watches them during the day.

Answer 4

I guess it depends on the parent. You have to be a caring, patient, loving parent to stay at home with them. If you find yourself needing a break every day then it's better for the kids to be in daycare... I love staying home with my kids but they are also in school now so it''s not as hard... As far as social structure they do miss out if their at home but there are ways to get around it. During the summer we go to the communtiy pool and they take classes and stuff. Putting them in daycare like once a week and the rest at home is also an option...just ideas

Answer 5

Children need to be socialized, period, be it in a daycare situation or with a stay at home parent. Some stay at home parents can't maintain the structure and routine (and sometimes even discipline) of a daycare situation, hence the nasty children of some stay at home moms. It's a tough decision but from my personal experience we were all happier as a family when the adults were working and the kids were in a GREAT daycare facility.....please note that GREAT ones are hard to find. Good luck.

Answer 6

It totally depends on the family. Some stay at home parents may not be very sociable, and having the kids in a (decent) daycare a little bit may be beneficial to the child's social life, if they are not usually around other people that often. However, there are also stay at home parents who are very outgoing and do a lot with their children and go out and socialize during the day. So the stay at home situation works out ok for them. I think if the daycare route works out well for your daughter, then it's fine, as long as she's also getting attention at home. You obviously have a wonderful daycare facility, and I'm glad she does well with it!

Personally, I work full time and my daughter goes to a regular sitter. We use daycare only when the sitter is unavailable. Even being at the sitter's, my daughter has been around many different people, and has gotten many opportunities to do things I wouldn't have done with her at home. So although I miss her all day, and feel guilty about being away so much, I think it has been more beneficial to her in a lot of ways as opposed to staying home full time with me. And being at the sitters, I know she is getting proper attention, and she also learns a lot there too.

Answer 7

I think a child needs to be with a person that will show it love and attention in a one-on-one type of way. That could be a parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, family friend, or nanny. It is also very important, however, for a child to have exposure to other children to help them learn how to be social and to act in a social setting.

My son stays with one of us during the day or with my in-laws. This will probably change in the future, but for now (he is 7 months) this is working for us. He is getting full attention and all of his needs met. I know people that have had their kids in ddaycare since birth and their kids are fine. I also know infants that have been in daycare and are NOT fine - unruly, etc. I think it depends on the center and their staff. I have seen centers have limited staff where infants just stay in a crib the whole time or in a playpen. I have seen others where they have one staff person per every 2 infants. You just need to investigate.

It sounds like it is working well for your family. Maybe your nephews' mother is over stressed trying to keep up with the kids, housework, etc and has gotten to a point where it is easier to let them get a bit out of control than it is to discipline them. Or maybe her parenting style is a bit more leinient than yours. It is really hard to tell if daycare or parenting is the difference. It could also be the personalities of the kids.

Answer 8

Simply put, "Daycare cannot love your baby" the way a parent can. I do believe in the long run they are better adjusted from being at home with the parent. There is plenty of time for 'daycare' in the school setting with all the socialization a kid needs and then some. Then, again... today you might not want your kids in public school given what they are teaching about politically correct social stuff and the lack of morals to go with it! [sorry, just a side thought i had to throw in!]

Answer 9

I think a parent at home with their child is always the best, but that is not to say that daycare is not okay. Some people have no choice but to put their children in daycare. There are some great daycares out there, and like you said, children become socailized with other children. About your nephews though, that is just one example. I know for a fact that there are lots of examples of unruly children in daycare as well. I think it depends on the care giver in any situation. I personally would rather be home with my children, that way I know for sure they are getting the best care possible.

Answer 10

Daycare can have great points! As you say, structure, being social and having fun are great benefits. I think it's great for kids especially those over 2. As long as there is a loving and caring environment, I'm all for it. The person who said that most kids end up with issues due to daycare is way off base and cannot provide any proof of her beliefs. I know tons of kids that were in daycare that are happy well adjusted children.