Should I feel jealous with my bf's ex?

Question

Me and my bf have been together for 1 and a half years. We love each other dearly and I know that. However, his ex has been contacting him whenever she gets the chance to. Like she would borrow his exam papers.(She's a year younger than both of us) I mean..Y do u have to refer to the papers for?? N my bf..he suspects that she likes him too.But he seems to care and is quite frequently looking at her.(We're all from the same high school) I confronted him last time but he said i was too sensitive.He says he looks to see whether she looks at him too to find out whether she likes him.Although he doesn't look that often now but he always notices when she's around.I can't help but feel uneasy.Plus, she's really pretty and nice.My bf also regrets treating her badly last time.N he said he wud wanna go back n change wat he did if he could.I know he loves me but thinkin that he still has feelings for her is quite tough..N there is no need for discussion with him.He'll just say how sensitive I m.

Answer 1

No you shouldn't be jealous of her. You should however knock his eyes back into his head the next time he looks over at her to find out if she is looking at him!! What a stupid excuse that was if I ever heard one!!

I think homeboy has feelings left for this chick, and you need to put that last little flame out before it ignites the whole darn stove! Sounds like he is wondering if she likes him b/c he is interested in her. Most guys are naive to the fact a girl like them - if they have no intentions of ever contacting or trying to hook up with the girl. However, if he is so interested, I say he has something up his sleeve.

You need to let him know this borrowing papers and crap has to end. Let him know either she goes, or you go. Let him make the decision, and make him stick to it!

Hope this helped! ♥

Answer 2

I think that they still care about each other...I recall for myself..that when I had broken up with an ex....I still kind of wanted him back..and I would literally go where he went...when I knew that he would be there, with good friends of mine...I didn't do this all of the time...but, when I could ,I did...I think that they may still have some feelings for one another...they also could be only friends....whatever you do...be very careful of what you say around him and her...don't bring her up....just talk about you and him..and plans that you want to make with him..and or other topics...even when you happen to be VERY CURIOUS...as it might help to lose him...and you don't want THIS...to happen...do you ?!!!???

Also, less pressure on him...if you don't bring up the ex-...and also less problematic for you both.....
don't let HER come between you..and sometimes men get angry if you push the whole subject.....besides...he might not be able to fix what is already UNDER the bridge! Leave things alone!!!

Answer 3

Jealousy I have experienced and to be honest it don't get you anywhere.Lots of unanswered feeling and uncontrollable emotion will only break you down as an individual and make you question who you are. If you feel threaten by this girl and not sure what's running through your bf mind every time he looks at her,beside the comment that, "if he could go back n change things" then you must realize that this is not love.I will say this, if YOU love him, let him go, if he comes back he is yours, if he don't he never was.I've been there and done this and by the grace of God he came back.Do what feels right to you,even if it hurts now cause what don't kill ya only makes ya stronger. Best of luck.

Answer 4

His ex obviously want him back. While I don't necessarily know whether or not he has feelings for her, your boyfriend is definitely enjoying the attention. Why does he need to know whether or not she looks at him. What difference should it make if she is interested or not?

I'm not suggesting that he shouldn't be allowed to have friends that are girls or have the occasional look at other girls. If this was some other girl asking for is exam papers or he was sometimes looking at other girls - I wouldn't be as worried But this is his ex. I think you are being perfectly reasonable for being uncomfortable with his behaviour. And as his current girlfriend, your feelings shoudl come before your ex.

I bet if the roles were reversed and this was your ex then he would not be too happy with your behaviour. But your boyfriends likes knowing that he always has his ex to fall back on. His attitude towards her (if he thinks she is interested in him, he should be staying well away for her sake as much as your own) does not show him in a positive light. He is not just being inconsiderate of your feelings but hers as well.

Talk to him. Don't start being defensive but point out that you are umcomfortable with him spending so much time with his ex when she has feelings for him. If he says you are too sensitive then ask him how he would feel if the roles were reversed or if he is so intent on seeing his ex even at the expense of it hurting you. If he is not willing to change his behaviour, start considering whether you really want to be with someone, who is so inconsiderate of others' feelings and also whether you are willing to remain in a relationship where you are going to have to share him with his ex.

Answer 5

You are on thin ice with this one. They both have feelings for each other, and he accuses you of oversensitivity to put you off your game and make you doubt what you're seeing with your own two eyeballs.

Should you feel jealous, though? No, it's not worth it. It never really is. You can either ride the relationship out until he breaks up with you, or proactively break up with him first. But this relationship is just plain not meant to last. You are the rebound girl. Don't sweat it, though. This stuff happens. You will find somebody else - someone who's not making googly eyes at his ex.

Good luck.

Answer 6

The only part that worries me is that he said if he had the chance to go back and change it he would. She is way too involved in his life for an ex. He needs to limit his time talking to her and focus more on his relationship with you and keeping you happy. I dont think you are being sensitive, I think you are being cautious. Sounds like there could still be some interest in her on his behalf. He should be concerned for your feelings, if this continues, I wouldnt continue to be with him. Your not second best.

Answer 7

He still has feelings for her. There's no question about that. I would be a bit upset because it's one thing to be nice to her once in while. But why does he have to go out of his way. And the fact that he sees nothing wrong with being so involved with her, is a no no. You need to talk to him. I'm sure he loves you very much, but he needs to be responsible and realize that if she's his ex. He needs to start acting like it. Treat her with respect, but treat you like his girl! If he can't do that, it's time to move on.

Answer 8

Girl, just put the cards on the table, IF he really cares for you like you say and IF you're sure of yourself and sure about the way you and him love ea. other, let it be... If You love him give him the benefit of the doubt, if he loves you and don't give a f&#$ about her then hes worth the fight but if he keeps showing you the things that bother you regarding that chickenhead, hey there are more fishes in the water!!!! No need to take his ****! Would he like for you to do the same thing to him, how would he feel? or react towars it?

Answer 9

I'm guessing your still in high school, so you are likely young.

I am married to a guy who had lots of contact with his ex while we were still dating, and I was extremely jealous. It's hard not to be! You know your man better than anyone else, and only you can decide whether or not you should trust him on this...

But if you can't trust him, why are you with him?

Answer 10

I think I would I went through this with my husbands ex and she was always there and sometimes I thought she was doing it on purposebut if he's looking at her he could be trying to make her jealous or he kinda wants her back but not telling you this sensitive crap you should not put up with it get the answer you want to here do you want her back or do you want to be with me I would question itor confront her