Evertime my co-worker speaks spanish, I want to sock him in the face. Is this a normal reaction?

Question

It bothers me to no end when my mexican co-worker just starts talking in spanish. I don't want to hear it. I work in a medium to large size office with cubicles. Everytime I I hear him talk to another co-worker who speaks spanish, I get so angry I start to punch my desk. When he is on the phone or being serious, it usually doesn't bother me as much. But sometimes, I think he does it right in front of me because he knows it upsets me. Then he will come to my desk to ask me a question and speak in spanish and smile. I don't know how to speak it at all. I really just want to take the keyboard and hit him along side his head. I absolutely, positively, beyond the shadow of a doubt, cannot deal with hispanic people who were born here and speak enaglish but speak spanish to hide things or to just aggrivate people like me. Is this a normal reaction?

Answer 1

Not normal but understandable considering your circumstances. He speaks English and presumably the persons he is talking to in Spanish understand English as well. You assumption that he does this to mask his conversation is probably correct.

My only advice is please try not to let this worry you so much. He's not your boss right? His opinions about you do not effect your paycheck right? What he says does not effect you ...let that become your mantra ....Remember you can't control other people But you can only control your reaction to other people. Right now he's winning every time he upsets you ...and you are wasting valuable mental energy on a idiot.

You could also funnel some of your energy into learning Spanish. Spanish lessons tape or maybe some cheap evening classes will help you. Spanish is becoming the norm in so many places so learning it may be helpful to you if not therapeutic.

Answer 2

If you feel that this person is doing this to annoy you or to harass you, you need to speak to your manager or to the Human Resources Dept. The HR people can tell this guy to "take his business" elsewhere and to leave you alone.

Another solution would be to learn Spanish. Beat him at his own game. Learn some phrases and that may surprise him enough to stay away from your desk. You are right about his behavior. He knows what buttons to push to annoy you. Try not to let it bother you too much.

I don't recommend violence. Don't hit him or assault him. You will be in a LOT of trouble and could loose your job. It's not worth it.

Answer 3

Sure it's normal - for a racist, xenophobic, self-centered idiot. Get over yourself already. He's speaking Spanish because it's what he grew up with, it's part of who he is - he's not purposefully trying to hide things from you or annoy you (although if I worked with a racist jerk, I'd probably annoy him on purpose just to teach him a lesson).

First, enroll in anger management therapy - hitting the desk is a bad sign that you might start hitting people next.
Next, smile back at him and politely ask him to use English when he speaks to/in front of you so you can understand him and be included in the conversation.

Answer 4

No.

It is not 'just to hide things or aggravate you.'

You sound like you have anger problems above and beyond the norm -- punching your desk?

Get a life.

Or move to Canada where your co-workers will speak French and you'll be the only one who thinks it odd; you'll eventually implode, and, well, problem solved.

No wonder the US has so many problems. You're Native American, I take it? No? Then, time to grow up.

Anybody "aggrivated" by people not speaking "enaglish" should look at themselves before critiquing others, too.


Edited to add: re. the fellow who is "prejudist" -- oh, dear. Look, I'd have a lot more patience for this sort of nonsense if the average English-speaking American was actually fluent in English.

And what's so scary about bilingualism? It's common where I live, and works out quite well for everyone involved.

Answer 5

I totally agree with you....makes me wonder if they are saying things about me, or why if you want to work in America you won't speak english. The fact that he comes up to you and does it knowing you can't speak it is him being a dick so it should make you angry. Find out the word for sorry in spanish then 'accidently' trip and dump scalding coffee on this jerk.

Answer 6

This is what you HAVE to do: Learn a phrase in spanish, learn it WELL, pronounce it well, practice at home then just say it to them. Something like: "Some people DO understand what you are saying. Not all Americans only speak English you know...." Say it in Spanish though. That should freak them out enough to stop or at least become paranoyd!!!
Have some spanish speaking person outside of work teach you.
Good luck, I wish I could see the looks on their faces when you do it!

Answer 7

It's a normal reaction for somebody who is very insecure, paranoid and sensitive about their ignorance and lack of ability to communicate.

If you are involved in a conversation where all parties speak English but some choose to speak spanish among themselves, that's rude, but if he's speaking to another native Spanish speaker what other language would he use? It would be a little bit pretentious for him to speak English in that situation really wouldn't it. And if he asks you questions in Spanish, it's probably because he's just been speaking in Spanish and he is still thinking in Spanish so it just comes out like that, it's not deliberately to annoy you.

I think you are angry and frustrated that you don't understand, that's your problem not theirs. Either learn the language, and lets face it you have plenty of opportunity to practice, or get over it.

Answer 8

Sorry, I just never understand why some people get upset because of someone else's background and upbringing. So, if you had to move to Spain or Mexico for a job, would you deserve to get punched because you speak English?

Are you really so self-centered that you think people do what they are brought up to do--speak their own language--just to annoy you? And even if he's doing it to annoy you, he's trying to send a message--that you're so worked up about things that don't concern you that he can push your buttons just by speaking a language. By making different sounds than you do. Think about it.

I suggest you get out and travel. See the world. See how others live in cultures where people speak all kinds of languages, and it's just normal, not the cause for fighting.

Answer 9

I know how you feel. I live in Florida and it seems there are more people that speak Spanish than English. It does get very frustrating when you go to a store and the cashier tries to speak to you in Spanish. We speak English here!

It annoys me that people seem to think it is OK to move to another country and not learn there language. If I tried to move to Spain and expected everybody to speak English to me everywhere I went, how do you think that would go? I dont think they would appreciate it very much.

I have no problem with people speaking different languages, that's great. I sometimes wish I knew another language. But I know that if I did know another language, I would still speak English in public because that is OUR language.

Answer 10

absolutely normal. this is america and that idiot should be speaking the english language. I find it very offensive to be anywhere and hear these people speaking spanish. I also find it offensive that my son is learning songs at school in spanish. I want to tell all the mexicans GO HOME! We don't need or want their a-s here. If that sounds prejudist, then I will admit I'm prejudist against mexicans.