I'm 29. She's 24. We're together for over 4 months now. I'm v much in love with her and we're still together, despite her idea since 2 months to reunite with her ex-boyfriend who has emigrated in another country. She says she can't forget that ex. But last week, we learned that my girlfriend was 6 weeks pregnant from me. Me, I was ready to care for her and the child, and marry her. But she said 'no', and said she would be unhappy to give birth to that child, as she wants to emigrate and be with her ex again. So yesterday and today, with my help (I'm heartbroken but I love her too much), she aborted with the Cytotec pills. She cried afterwards, saying she 'lost her baby' and felt guilty. But now she says she's relieved, and is starting to think about her ex again, although she still wants me to be by her side. Should I walk away? Or do you think that she will realize that love is worth being with me? I'm so depressed now, but after losing that baby that I wanted, I don't want 2 lose her
2007-03-02 01:38:04 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Although the ex-bf knows that I'm with her and that she got pregnant from me, he still wants her to be with him. They broke up after 3 yrs because the guy didn't care for her and they had 'trust issues', He also decided to emigrate last year. I just don't understand why the ex wants her so badly. Anyway, thanks for trying to help me thru this. I love her so much. What should I do to be able to walk away? I can't find the willpower to move on. Everything else seems screwed up. I've lost interest in my career, friends, etc.
2007-03-02 01:49:07 · update #1
honey I don't think is fair for you to keep on with that relationship, she has been very honest with you telling you that she still misses her ex and all this sounds like she is having you there to comfort herself..... i know is not easy to let go on someone you deeply love, i had happened to me but try giving her sometime alone, try not to contact her for a few weeks and then she will realize if she feels something for you or not.... is pain full now, it'll be OK...GOOD LUCK : )
2007-03-02 01:48:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should walk away. Not because of the baby issue per se but because it is clear that she is still harping after her ex, so this relationship is never going to go anywhere. You say you don't want to lose her, but the truth is you never had her because her heart has always been with her ex. She is using you as her backup plan and you deserve more than to be the second choice cause believe me as soon as she can be with her ex again she will be there in a second and won't give you a second glance.
I know you are hoping that she will realise that she is better off with you, but to be honest, I can't see that happening. I know losing a baby is a horrible thing to have to deal with, even if it is only a fetus, but t the moment none of you are happy and the only way either of you have a chance for happiness is to break up.
ETA - you mentioned you had lost interest in everything and felt depressed. It might be an idea to see a doctor, because it looks like you may be developing depression.
2007-03-02 02:19:54 · answer #2 · answered by LMS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's up to you; but if you ask me, she is unsure of her feelings and, not only might she still leave you, the exact same situation might play out again. Do one thing for me...? Ask her to go on some reliable form of birth control, e.g. the pills or the shot. If she refuses this even though you know she doesn't want to be pregnant at this point, that is a SURE sign that she is too immature for a relationship (let alone for a baby) and you really should walk away. If she gets pregnant and aborts again, do you really want to repeat this same feeling?
2007-03-02 01:45:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow!
Scrape up your dignity and walk away. You will lose her eventually no matter what you do - she's really not that into you. Not only did she clearly telegraph to you that she doesn't want a future with you by aborting the fetus, but she's outright telling you that she wants to move to be with her ex. Of course she wants you to stay in the mean time - she is USING you until she can get what she wants (her ex).
How much more of a doormat can you be?
2007-03-02 01:42:00 · answer #4 · answered by kcbranaghsgirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he bro for a girl to give up a child is really hard i'm 16 and a year ago my x was pregnat but she had miscarrage early on my parents never found out but she was pretty stoked. Shs needs you right now more than ever, and if you can help her through this mess the right way do stuff for tell her you love do everything to keep her happy do nothing to upset her don't back talk her i mean nothin, and i promise you will grow closer together the more you are ther for her. Take care and and i hope everything works out bro, let me know hoow it goes
2007-03-02 01:47:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walk away. She obviously still has feelings for her ex and she won't pay attention to you until she works through those feelings. She's just using you for the mental and emotional support you're giving her. She's probably keeping you as a back-up in case things go wrong with her ex. Find someone who will cherish you for you.
If she tries with her ex and fails, and comes back to you, give her a chance, since you guys have been through a lot together, but don't wait for her to come back. Move on.
Good luck and stay strong.
2007-03-02 01:45:57 · answer #6 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off sorry about the baby.......Me personally it sounds like you are a sweet guy and she is just weird and confused. You shouldn't have to be with somebody that's kills your child because that's what she did she killed it all because she wants to be with her ex. that should have been enough for you to leave her right there if she is telling you she just wants to be with her ex. I understand you don't want to lose her but what if you get her pregnant again and again and again and she gets an abortion again and again....all because its your baby and not her exs. when you could go out in this world find a girl that just wants YOU and be more than happy to carry and give birth to YOUR child. I think you should leave her and find somebody that deserves you....Good Luck
2007-03-02 01:48:12 · answer #7 · answered by reses 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
look, I am a woman but if I was a man and a girl aborted my child I would drop her as fast as I could, I was only still in my teens when i got pregnant and I din't love the guy but i married him out of love for my baby, right or wrong-I did it to give the infant stabilty and her father's name. I sacrificed my youth for that innocent baby. 15 year later the marraige din't work out but she grew up in her own home, nice things, food, warmth and love. I know I did the right thing by the child, to give her happy childhood memories.. Find a girl with some integrity, one who knows how to love. Find your happiness with the right kind of woman.
2007-03-02 01:48:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
andy here
man i no as much as u dont want to break up with her u might just have to bc one of my xes did the same thing to me and as far as her feelings for her x thats not a good sign either bc no offense ok but what are u gonna do if u ever got married to her or even if ur at work no offense ok bc i dont no her but whos to say shes gonna reamin faithful to u and yr marriage?
so im gonna have to simply say yes i think u should walk away and go out and find someone that wil apperercate the life of a baby and with aman like you
and to be honest the only reason she probualy wants u to be by herside is bc right now she dont no what her and her x are gonna do so be careful man she could be playing you or even him
good luck to you on ur choice
2007-03-02 01:45:18 · answer #9 · answered by Angie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to walk away now before you set ur self up for even more hurt. To much drama and no room for you if she still has feelings for the ex.
2007-03-02 01:50:04 · answer #10 · answered by browneyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋