i AM VERY ANGRY, CAN YOU MAKE ME LAUGH?

Question

FROM MY AVTAR YOU CAN SEE THAT I AM VERY ANGRY. TO REMOVE MY ANGER TELL ME AT LEAST 71 JOKES.
ALL JOKES MUST BE VEG, IT SHOULD NOT INCLUDE OTHER ISSUES.

DON'T ADD 71 JOKES BUT ADD 4567 LONG VEG JOKES

NOW ADD 1234567890 LONG VEG JOKES.

Answer 1

UFO's are real. It's the Air Force that doesn't exist!

A synonym is a word you use if you can't spell the other one.

Marriage is Grand... Divorce is 20 Grand...

A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

Be creative, invent a perversion.

MONEY TALKS... but all mine ever says is GOODBYE!

If life begins at 40, what are you supposed to do until then?

If plugging it in doesn't help, turn it on.

I'm in shape... round's a shape isn't it?

I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?

When in doubt, mumble. When asked to clarify, say "Trust me".

I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn LOUDER!

No, no, nurse! I said SLIP off his SPECTACLES!!

43% of all statistics are useless.

Write all complaints legibly in this space -> []

If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're upside down.

I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Black Holes are where God divided by zero.

I've got a... uh... uh... Oh yeah - a photographic memory!

Is that seat saved? No, but we're praying for it!

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Dolphins: Don't trust a species that's always smiling, its up to something!

Hard work never hurt anyone, but why take the chance.

1st rule of intelligent tinkering - save all the parts.

Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl mistakes!

Yield to temptation, it may not pass your way again.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

I call things as I see them; If I didn't see them, I make them up!

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.

It's only a hobby... only a hobby... only a hobby...

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad cheque.

Vital papers demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them
to where you can't find them.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as warning to
others.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.



For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody
appreciates how difficult it was.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is
research.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

They put smoke in every electronic component, thats why if the smoke gets
out the component is stuffed.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

There is not as much gravity on the moon because it is further away from
Earth.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.



What do you mean? You actually read this tagline?!

What time is it when you see a Geo following a Geo? Tin after tin.

Reality-ometer: [\........] Hmmph! Thought so...

Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

"We are upping our standards... so up yours!"

NY cops go bar-hopping, LA cops go night-clubbing.

Crime doesn't pay... Does that mean my job is a crime?

We're off to see the Gizzard. The wonderful Gizzard of ID.

Bad Advertising: Rush Limbaugh Home Fitness Center.



"... The prostitution rests." -- Kelly Bundy.

Artificial Intelligence: The other guy's opinion.

I miss my wife - but my aim is getting better.

Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken....

How come pizza gets to your house faster than the police?

Origin of life? Just check my refrigerator...

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

I gess hukd on fonix wurkd for yoo too.

I'm sorry, officer-I didn't know these freeways had no-smoking lanes.

Thunderclap - an extremely violent form of VD

Answer 2

Hi


you can imagine more than 71 jokes using Alphabets A to Z and give a huge smile and change your avatar

Answer 3

wat the hell is veg?

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

Wife: Give me some money. I want to buy a bra.
Husband: Why? You have nothing to put in it!
Wife: You wear shorts!

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

I wonder what fish smelled like before women went swimming?

It is well known...
Man stands up to get knocked down, woman lays down to get knocked up.

Want to hear two short jokes and a long joke?
Joke. Joke. Joooooooooooooooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkke.

Q. Where do you get virgin wool from?
A. Ugly sheep.

You should always give 100% at work...
12% Monday; 23% Tuesday; 40% Wednesday; 20% Thursday; 5% Friday

Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs that can swim across a pool?
A. Clever ****

Answer 4

brush u r teeth and have a good rinse of mouthwash. then open u r mouth and laugh.
else all will run away.
again use veg toothpaste.
this is because no brush since 71 days. eeks

Answer 5

I will be angry if will have to tell you at least 71 jokes.
I never stop before 100 (police). I stop for 101 / 102.,

Answer 6

okay let me tell you what you must do here take a mirror and see your face which is very funny but if you really dont want to may be because you are afraid to see your face i prepared something for you:
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these 75 blanks are what i call jokes and for me this one is the best and i hope somehow it made you realize that jokes wont change your present attitude what you need to do is to conquere all the problems that you had so that you wont be angry... bear in your mind that there is no connection btween you and your avatar... give me your password and i'll change it for you...nope just kidding... so thats it that is my 75 jokes!!!!

want to shout on me? then take this and send me your feedback/s:

e-mail address: [e-mail]
[e-mail]

thanks

Answer 7

THE JOKES ARE IN Q-A FORM

1) Q : WHY IS 4 < 5?
A : AS 5 > 4.

2) Q : WHY IS 1 + 4 = 5?
A : AS 1 + 4 NOT EQUAL TO ANY OTHER NUMBER.

3) Q : WHAT DID W SAID TO E WHEN BOTH WERE SITTING IN CAR?
A : E, SIT IN THE CAR.

4) Q : WHAT IS COMMON BETWEEN MARRIAGE AND HELL?
A : BOTH ULTIMATELY LEAD TO DESTRUCTION.

5) Q : WHY IS ELEPHANT VERY FAT?
A : HE CANNOT DIET.

6) Q : WHY DO MONKEYS LIVE ON TREES?
A : AS NO OTHER SAFE PLACE IS FOR THEM.

7) Q : QWERT IS WHAT?
A : QWERT IS QWERT.

8) Q : WHAT IS GHOST?
A : A LARGE ENTITY NOT ALIVE.

9) Q : WHAT IS FULL FORM OF NCC?
A : NATIONAL CHAPAL CHOR.

MOREOVER I AM SERIOUS. I CANNOT TELL MORE JOKES.

FOR MORE DETAILS YOU CAN SEE
http://jokes.comedycentral.com
http://jokes.indiatimes.com
http://www.ahajokes.com
http://www.motherservice.org/New%20Essays/Anger.html
http://www.soundfeelings.com/free/anger.htm


YOU ADD YOURSELF MORE JOKES AS PER YOUR REQUIREMENTS.


NOTE / DISCLAIMER : ALL THE THINGS WRITTEN HERE ARE MEANT ONLY AS SIMPLE JOKES, THESE ARE NOT MADE TO INSULT SOMEONE. ALL NAMES USED ARE PURELY FICTITIOUS. I SAY SORRY TO THOSE WHO FEEL THEMSELVES INSULTED ON READING MY ANSWER. THE CATEGORY IS JOKES & RIDDLES AND SO IS MY ANSWER.

Answer 8

It's the first day of kindergarten, and the teacher decides to do taste association. 'I'll blindfold you and give you a lifesaver, and you tell me what flavor it is,' she tells the children. So she gives them all a cherry flavor, and says, 'What flavor is that?'

The whole class answers 'Mmmm, that's cherry.'

'Very good,' the teacher replies. So she gives them all a grape and they reply, 'Mmm, that's grape.'

'Very good,' she says again.

Then she gives them all a honey flavor. The whole class sits perplexed by the strange taste, so the teacher says 'OK, I'll give you a hint, it's something your parents might call each other.'

Billy spits his out on the floor and yells, 'Spit 'em out everyone, they're ASSHOLES!'

Answer 9

It looks like if you are 71 years old.
Just look at your photo album and
you will find 710000.....*infinity Jokes.

Answer 10

just two s were not sufficient after a in your id , why did you add 71 s's.