What would you do if you were engaged to someone for 1 yr and 6 months and he had cheated on you twice already but on the internet (i.e - going on sex sites and posting his photo on the internet to meet people) and you somehow found out what his e-mail password was and saw that on his e-mail account details he has marked off that he wants notification from Yahoo to meet people. so that would make it a third time!!!!! i only want serious answers from women or men who have been in similar positions that know how difficult it is to deal with problems like this and really love the person. Help needed, please give advice.
2007-03-02 00:16:37 · 22 answers · asked by Roxxy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You don't need answers. You answered your it already by sticking around after the first time. You reinforced your conviction to stay with him after you decided to stay engaged after the second time. Nothing is going to change this time, if you have to ask others 'what should I do'. It is obvious you don't want to leave him, because you are still there. So, I think you should just suck it up, and continue to live with him in the name of 'love' and continue to let him explore other avenues, and continue to forgive him, and continue to hope that this will be the last time, and continue having your heart broke, and continue wondering where he is and what he is doing every time he is not home, and you should continue doing all of the above until you can't take it anymore, then, get out. (That time should be today, right now.)
Long Live Jambi
2007-03-02 00:25:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
save a divorse and a broken home
i'm sorry but u do need to end it
i can't believe u allowed him to cheat on you
and why i say that is u took time back not once but twise it's your life u have to live it, but i'd say end it find someone who won't cheat on you ur not that desprate are you
Good Luck
and i wish u the best
but this guy is not a good one
i'd ask him why he is engaged to you if he wants other women too
and also just an idea
create a profile and send him a message with a hot girl pick see what he does then later u can just lie and say that that girl off the internet called u and told u about it when really it was u but what does it hurt to lie to him if he's done it over and over
if u don't end it just be prepared for a husband thats not happy with what he has and goes else where
2007-03-09 16:24:41 · answer #2 · answered by Happily Taken 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is not ready to commit. I would not confront him with how you found out, it looks too sneaky. I would tell him that YOU need some time to figure things out and that you dont feel ready for marriage at this time. See how he reacts. He will either cut out the nonsense and beg you to marry him or take it as an insult and leave. You havent lost much if you lose a cheater. He will always do it, especially if he is doing it now and you are not even married yet.
2007-03-02 08:25:20 · answer #3 · answered by mlock123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TALK, seriously, the best way to know what to do, is to talk to him, ask for straight answers, and tell him this is disturbing you, and also ask that if he were in you place (meaning, if you would have cheated him twice and then wanted to meet sex partners on the Internet) what would he do?
You need to learn that the best way to get answers for this kind of things is to think that some friend of yours has this problem and comes to you, what would be your advice.
Hope it helPS!
=^-^=
ps: don't let him guide the discussion to the fact that you checked his e-mail, that is so not the point.
2007-03-02 08:26:35 · answer #4 · answered by Damn Kitty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok first, no one has ever done that to me, but secondly I would not put up with it for even one second.
Don't you think you deserve better than that?
Do you honestly believe he will stop after you are married? The answer to that is NO.
Usually people are on their best behavior before they are married, can you imagine what your life will be like if you marry this jerk.
You'll have no one to blame but yourself.
The writing is all over the wall. READ IT.
My advise = Leave him now, and do not take him back EVER.
He has NO respect for you, or your feelings.
2007-03-02 08:35:14 · answer #5 · answered by Aunt Henny Penny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, life should not be that hard.... love is trusting - both ways... he does not have your best interest at heart... he has a problem with self control and if you do not come before all else.... is it really worth all your trouble to love him? If you can not trust him now - things only get worse after he marries you and thinks he has gotten his cake and got to eat it too. this much concern over another human being it just not worth it,,, love should come easy and without a 2nd thought of them hurting you. Love does not hurt, it is kind and it always put the other person 1st. Find love.. real love... do not settle for 2nd best. -I can tell you this because I have loved a lot of guys - I could have married - BUT Now of them would have put me 1st and I hated wondering if they really did love me.... I do not wonder nor have I ever wondered if my husbands loves me and loves me only.... get that kind of love and you will never ask that question up ther again. Love yourself 1st-enough to wait for true love...
2007-03-10 01:53:27 · answer #6 · answered by Vicki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard way to find out infidelity! I personally have been busted for somewhat the same stuff. Only it was with girls I had dated in the past coming out of the wood work and wanting to hook up. I played them on, but not wanting to actually hook up with them. It was my way of seeing if I still had that appeal. not to cheat. anyways I got busted and never woould do it again.
i would make the ultimatum to him about it and put a stop to it, problem is, its addicting and a hard habit to break. Put the relationship on the line and make your stand, if he loves you as much as you think he does, then he will wake up and realize all he wants is getting ready to leave him. good luck
2007-03-02 08:30:37 · answer #7 · answered by chemreaction 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex was courting a girl via email and confessed to it, even though that is not as bad as your situation the trust was hard to restore. As it turns out he cheated on me with a colleague two months later anyway!!
Your partner is being deceitful and disrespectful towards you and it being on the Internet does not change the reality of the intent to cheat. It sounds to me like he is trying to lead a single life on line.
I forgave my partner for the email courtship only to be cheated on for real later on, I wish now I had of woken up to begin with and got rid of him before I got so hurt. If I was you I'd break up with him asap to avoid more heartache.
2007-03-02 08:30:56 · answer #8 · answered by galatosgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not marry this man! Unless you want him to cheat on you all through marriage too. You should also get tested for sexually transmitted diseases. I know you say it was just emails, but maybe he met some of these promiscuous internet women. HPV can't be tested for in men. Get a PAP smear too!
2007-03-02 08:24:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd break up with him, he cannot ever be honest, or faithful, if you don't care about that, then marry him, if you do care don't.
Marriage is about more than love, its also about having certain values in common, fidelity and trust are important. Hes shown what he is, please, believe him and get out before you spend many more nights wondering who hes with, who hes meeting, who hes emailing. His love of you has been shown not to equal your love for him, so avoid divorce, leave now.
2007-03-02 08:28:40 · answer #10 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋