What should I do?

Question

I think I'm developing a romantic interest toward a longtime friend, I'm debating whether I should tell her how I feel or not. The problem is that she told me she still has feelings for an old boyfriend, and this boyfriend is unclear whether he still has feelings for her or not. Should I jeopardize my relationship with her and say how I feel, or push it down and try to focus my romantic interests elsewhere? I don't know if this is something that's going to grow with time or not, but distance should kill it if I don't mention it. She's in a predicament already, she's getting mixed messages from her old boyfriend, she still has feelings for him, and I think I'd just create more anxiety for her, and make the situation more sensitive than it should be. Suggestions?

Answer 1

You'd better hide your picture first before you scare that poor girl to death because you are one ugly sucker.

Answer 2

Let her know how you feel. If you guys are good friends then even if it doesn't go anywhere you will still at least have a friendship. Besides you'll get the weight off of your chest and it's out there now. Maybe she has feelings also but SHE doesn't know how to confront them either. You may be surprised at what you find. Also let her know she doesn't need to waste her time with an old boyfriend who is unsure about her. He's an "old boyfriend" for a reason. And if he really wanted to be with her then he would just be with her and not play mind games with her. Perhaps the two of you would be the ideal couple, since you already have a friendship. Again, I say tell her but let her know that either way you will always be there for her no matter what. This way she will not have to worry about losing a friend on top of anything else she is going through. And I'm a woman and I know how emotional we can get, but all the stress she is feeling right now over this other guy is her own fault, we tend to try and take things and run with it. Even when we know deep down inside it will end up nowhere, we just always have hope. Eventually she will see that he is not worth her time or energy. And you'll be there to save her !! Good Luck !!

Answer 3

DONT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!! She is confused right now and ,if you reveal your feelings for her now, she will be that much more confused. Offer her your support AS A FRIEND and let her work things out for herself. Many a great friendship has been ruined by letting romantic feelings in. I would direct romantic feelings elsewhere at least until she makes up her mind about this guy. And then I would think real long and hard about starting a romantic relationship with her if she is that much of a good friend. Once you become involved, theres no going back to being just friends. Good luck!!!!

Answer 4

Well i would wait and see what happens with the other guy but then of course you could be missing out on your chance. They say that some of your closest friends could be the best companion. I would take a chance and tell her how you feel. Trust me it won't cause her too much anxiety if she likes you she will be flattered if not she will just let you know. As for the other guy he probably is interested in someone else and is just stringing her along in case this new girl of his doesn't work out. I mean do you really want this girl to be with someone who can't even make up his mind whether he likes her? I say go get her and the best of luck to you!

Answer 5

Let her deal with this issue before you say anything. In the mean time, start focusing on romantic interests elsewhere, as you suggest. Once the old boyfriend thing is settled and this girl becomes available, tell her how you feel (if, of course, you're still available).

Answer 6

erm...this is a hard one not hard on one lol :D
but hey...ppl always say that if it dont work out, could u still be friends with her like old times. tehy usually say that freindships can be ruined but not always. i d ont agree. if u have feelings for her, u need to knw u mean it and not take her for a ride. she may have feelings for her old b/f but tht dont mean she wont choose u over him. she trusts u and tells u everything personal but then tahts how a friendship wrks but then taking he rsituation at an advantage might be not right at the mo but if its killing u inside (like it is doing me) then u mighthave to tell her one day but not so soon. how long have u felt like this? when did u feel u have fallen for her but not just as a mate? give it some more time and see what goes on with her old b/f. if its goign to be, then it will happen. need to be patient and give it some time. she will come to u if she wants u but telling her at mo might get her mad coz she already confused wiv one guy, let alone 2. ur gunna mix her up inside i think butthen again she needs to knw so she knws where she stands with u. let her fiigure it out or would that take too long? sorry, i just dont the answer to this one but if u r meant for each other, the time will come when she will seek u out and come to u. i dunno. sorry if i dint help much. making u see both sides of it.

Answer 7

I do think you would confuse her even more. I dont think she should date him again especially if all she is getting is mixed messages. Once she make the decision to not be with him, then I would mention your feelings, but if she is going to pursue this relationship, then move on and just be her friend and let her know you will be there for her.

Answer 8

This is tricky, I know you don't want to put her under more pressure but don't you think that if the ex is so unsure, she shouldn't waste her time?
You need to decide if you can just be friends and still be happy, if you can maybe you dont want to risk it. Has she ever shown signs of wanting more from you?
It's all about weighing up the pros and cons but I would be careful of putting too much pressure on her just now.

Answer 9

I think you should tell her.If you really care for her.Let her know.At least that way it is out in the open.
Dont pressure her,if she cares for you she will respect that you were open and honest with her.
Maybe you might find that she thinks this is the only guy interested in her.So man up and tell her how you feel,and I hope things work out for you.

Answer 10

I think its best you tell her, otherwise you will live to regret it for the rest of your life. If she is mature enough and is not ready for another relationship, she will mention that to you and still be friends.

Nothing wrong with trying...

Answer 11

if u really like her, then i would suggest u to tell her!!! don be a coy!!! u will be a lot better match than that f***r. Don wait, it will just decrease ur chance... all the best man!!