He gets so angry at everyone all the time if they don't see to his "demands" on them. He's 54 and just lost his job. He seems to be getting worse and worse. I'm afraid he is going to burn all his bridges with his family (the only people he has) if he keeps it up. I try telling him (as his only daughter) that he is difficult to be around to, but he gets mad at me and continues to blame others. It is so hard having a dad like that, that I have to worry about. I just hope he gets help before he really ruins his life. Please help!!
BTW: My dad says he is "autistic" but I think he is manic-depressive or with some form of personality disorder.
He has rage and very manipulative.
2007-03-01 23:27:37 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
You and your family (minus your dad) need to get together and decide on a course of action that'll be both beneficial to you and him.
I can tell you right now, if what you've said is true, he isn't going to get better without proper help. The fact that he's denying the possibility to seek help or take medication is something that he feels is a sign of weakness and he wants to remain gruff and stalwart in his decision. You need to become the manipulative one here and make him say he needs the help, because if he says it, he'll go, if you force him to make that decision, he'll reject it.
To me, he's acting like a child.
Your best bet is 2 things:
1. You can can propose to your family to pack up and leave him, that way you won't be taking the brunt of his abuse or 2. Speak to a professional counselor yourselves and then take the necessary steps to preserve the already failing relationship.
Good luck, I wish you the best in this regard.
2007-03-01 23:37:50 · answer #1 · answered by Be Productive, Not Destructive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a controlling person, by nature, who clearly cannot control his own life (lost job) or the world at large (people he knows don't "obey" him). This requires deep therapy. He's not going to one day have a Scrooge experience and become a likable, socially well-adjusted individual. He needs to want to change to engage a therapist. Honestly, from what you say, I find remedy unlikely, because his world-view is that people are against him, he's always right, and all people are wrong, because he has seen the light and they haven't. He would never seek actively to change that way of seeing things. If he decides to change, help is there. But I am just afraid he won't, ever.
2007-03-01 23:33:31 · answer #2 · answered by Flubbadub 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither one of you are qualified to diagnose a personality disorder. Also, it doesn't matter what the label is. He would improve if he talked to a psychologist, but I know what type of dad you are talking about- mine was just like that, and they don't like to get help.
One thing is this- don't tell an angry person they are angry-- it makes them angrier. Ask him instead to think about times when his interactions with people worked- and see if he can repeat that. Another way to approach it is to side with him before you think of solutions to his persona interactions- say "Yea, Dad, those guys are idiots, and we have to think of a way to get around them."
Also, some people are just too old to change- a personality is a collection of characteristics and symptoms that are very set.
One more thing- remember, he isn't you. So, when he does self destructive things, try to realize you dont' have any control over his actions. People barely can control their OWN actions. If he is going to self destruct, that is his behavior, not yours.
2007-03-01 23:34:10 · answer #3 · answered by joey k 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just need to be supportive and patient. He will only seek help when he is ready. If he says he is autistic, you may be able to use that reason for suggesting he go to his local GP. It's a small beginning, but a possible one. Don't mention his problem to him, but try to come up with positive conversation. You might also be able to get him to a doctor by making an appointment for yourself and asking him to come with you. Just remind him that you care for him, and maybe remind him of the better times that you have both shared. I hope this helps
2007-03-02 00:25:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your dad may not have any of the mental illnessess you describe.do not try to diagnose him as it will just confuse you. his misplaced anger may be a result of his loss of job. he may be taking out his frustration on everybody around him, because he is angry. if he was manic depressive he would have severe mood swings,for days or weeks on end, going from being very elated, and high , to being severely depressed. some counsel ling would help your dad, but only if he wants it. hope this helps you. hang in there with him, it may take a while for him to readjust to his new situation, but u do not need to put up with his behavior. hang in there good luck
2007-03-01 23:35:55 · answer #5 · answered by zeek 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With respect, if your Dad has not had an analysis by a professional working in the field of mental/personality disorders, then how do YOU know he has a real disorder? (Unless this has been done and you did not tell us this in your question?)
If he has not been checked professionally, then insist he is. If he has been checked out, then what is the exact name of his condition? If neither, then maybe he's just an angry person pissed off with the world. That happens too.
2007-03-01 23:32:54 · answer #6 · answered by Superdog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My daughters have the same problem with their father. He is bi-polar and an alcoholic. Unfortunately there really isn't anything you can do to convince him to get the help he needs, he has to eventually come to the end of himself (burns up all his bridges) and seek it on his own. It is really hard to deal with a dad like this....keep in mind it isn't your fault!
2007-03-01 23:38:03 · answer #7 · answered by sisterchristian5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt you have based character illness, or the different character illness. on line exams at the instant are not good indicators of character subject concerns. Your habit is somewhat interior the variety of standard. yet whilst those characteristics are severe adequate to have a unfavorable effect on your relationships, then it fairly is probable a effect of your Asperger's and social rigidity.
2016-10-17 02:19:46 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to look for professional training for urself, treat this kind of people is the same as treat with terrorists (it is not a joke). it is very valuable skill to know how to live and deal with this situation...
best of luck!
2007-03-01 23:56:59 · answer #9 · answered by Inna D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds just like the house I grew up in, my advice to you, is to do what I did, move out into your own Apt. at 20 yrs old. For your own sanity !
2007-03-01 23:32:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋