I have talked to this guy for awhile in passing and he asked me out in jan - dating ever since. Things are great. He says he will do anything for me and I don't doubt it (he drove 60 miles to take me to breakfast after work one morning).
The problem is me.
On the outside I am friendly and inviting, but I let no one get close to me.
This is because I am a "cold" person. I dont feel much. I am detached - emotionalally and physicially. Last night he said that he loved me, and I could not say anything. Even when we are "together" I am just going through the motions for him. Is there something I can do, he is starting to worry?
Note: I have always been this way. Not just with him.
2007-03-01 22:31:10 · 13 answers · asked by shae b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
let go & let in ; )
If you really like him then you better tell him how you are, like you've just told us..say you dont know whats wrong with yourself & that you really like him & you feel your not letting him in & you want to...thats what relationships are for, trusting & stuff, have you been hurt before?? scared of commitment?? why dont you speak with your doctor & get referred to see a profesional. good luck. ; )
2007-03-01 22:55:03 · answer #1 · answered by Toby G* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup, I friend of mine is the same like you. No physical or much emotional contact, just facts is all she wants to talk about. It's sometimes very hard to deal with such people. She wonders why all men she had quit after a while, but I don't find this strange, since she doesn't let anyone touch her, unless it's functional...
Hugs? Forget it. Walking hand in hand? No way!
You should be glad that he keep understanding and caring for you, it asks a lot of energy to keep going to such a person and not getting anything in return.
I understand you have always been that way, but my GF turned 32 last year and she is still alone. It does not frustrate her (because her feelings and emotions are low, remember) but she knows rationally that it's not OK. So in a way, it does frustrate her rationally. I can understand her, but not much people around her do...
2007-03-02 06:43:23 · answer #2 · answered by inesp01 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt you are really a "cold" person, but rather a person that is afraid of getting hurt.
If we don't take a chance and allow our feelings to have free range then we can't get hurt can we? Well actually very much yes, as you are discovering.
You need to expand your emotional boundaries and take a chance, if you ever hope to find true happiness, you obviously have a lot else going for you judging by your boyfriends feelings.
I suggest you start risking your emotions, and if you are having problems letting go seek professional help as happiness in a relationship is well worth seeking. .
2007-03-02 06:41:31 · answer #3 · answered by Rational Thought 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is a woman basic instict. Not ready to move on fast.You had been dating him since january so don't doubt yourself speak up and let him know that I love u is kinda to soon you need more time to see how far this relationship will go. You wrote you always been this way.. I was thinking about more details to your story ! Depression is a sign.
2007-03-02 06:37:47 · answer #4 · answered by LIZA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you are a lucky girl! You have a guy who loves you and makes his best to make you happy. This is smth great and you should appreciate it.
I know that you can not force your heart to feel smth that you really don't, but at least begin thinking how you would feel if ran away from you.
I think that you already care enough for him, and love will come with the passing of time, you just have to push yourself to that direction.
Don't get stressed, I don't believe in love at first sight too, but I learn how to love smb who loves me, I'm sure you will learn to love him to.
Just don't be afraid to give your all to him.
Best of luck
2007-03-02 06:57:06 · answer #5 · answered by atrabel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a reason why you feel you can't love anyone?
Were you emotionally or physically abused as a youngster?
If this is the case tell him about it. I think he deserves to know. If he doesn't know why you haven't said you love him maybe he will think you are using him, or maybe something worse.
If he knows you can't feel love, maybe he can help you find a way to do so. I think if you told him and chose to go to a specialist for help, he'd go with you and help you through it all.
I hope things work out for you.
2007-03-02 06:39:17 · answer #6 · answered by Spikey and Scruffy's Mummy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well stop be so cold. You can maybe be more a warmer person and why did you detached - emonionalally and physicially? Were you embrass about something? Why not open up more?
2007-03-02 06:47:45 · answer #7 · answered by Robby M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
> trY being a more open person, because when you stay like thaT, yoU will be the one who will be having a hard time.. no only with this guy but all the guys throughout your life.. You might eventually loose all your suitors if that's the case..
2007-03-02 06:38:08 · answer #8 · answered by jammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you might need to see a psychiatrist about this one, sweetie..they're professionals who can actually help you through the steps to becoming less detached.
2007-03-02 06:35:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok what u need 2 do is sit down ask yourself wat happen if i lose him do i feel da same way he feels i had a crush on one of my close friends an never hav da courage 2 ask him out u need 2 find a way 2 tape into ur emotion otherwise u ar going 2 lose him
2007-03-02 06:48:18 · answer #10 · answered by lilmissyin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋