I am deeply in love with a very beautiful, gentle, sweet and loving woman. The problem is she has been lied to cheated on and abused by every man she has ever had a relationship with. I have never lied to her and I work very hard trying to show her that I mean what I say every time. I have never cheated on anyone or been abusive. Every time I try to use words to communicate things of importance in our relationship she says sorry but she has heard it before. I know it is the truth but I must find a way to show her I am nothing like any of the men in her past. The difficulty is that it does hurt a bit when she says these things but she is worth it to stick it out. There must be a way to get her to finally trust me and let our love grow without limits.
2007-03-01 21:19:30 · 8 answers · asked by John N 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First off, you sound like a really good guy and it's refreshing to hear a comment like this. She is a lucky woman.
To really gain her trust, it is just going to take time and you being consistent and stable. I too had the same experiences has she did. You may never gain her trust 100% but fairly close to that. The absolute worst thing you can do is to push it too hard, to seem to eager to gain her trust. We, that have been abused see this as a red flag, so at all cost try not to seem to be doing so. Don't get caught up in her moments of distrust, don't go into long spills, show her by your actions and it is the best way. Otherwise it seems fishy to us, or like you are trying to convince. The best thing my husband did was just reassure me to some degree and did not entertain some of my questions.
I hope it works out for you. Best of luck.
2007-03-01 21:31:38 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes you can but you would have to work very, very hard in gaining it. You really have to prove that your intentions to her are pure. I know this answer is classic, but there's really no way to achieve that but this. However, the style you're going to use while achieving that can be unique, something that will remind her of you someday. Just another word, make sure that she really is deserving of your love.
2007-03-01 21:25:09 · answer #2 · answered by lavender 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
.Mate, give it time. She will see how you feel about her in the future. She has been hurt by people that she loved in the past, and she don't want that pain again.
Second thing, Trust 100%.... Honestly mate, I don't think that is possible. In this age, its not possible.
2007-03-01 21:27:08 · answer #3 · answered by I'm In Love With Delicious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time and patience. For her, talks are nothing. Show her you care. Actions speak louder than words. Lay your actions there, do not speak a word of commitment yet. She will tell you when she's ready.
2007-03-01 21:26:16 · answer #4 · answered by counterculturalist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep trying. Talk to her about her feelings when this happened in the past and let her know you are different by understanding her fully.
2007-03-01 21:24:38 · answer #5 · answered by allears 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just don't do anything to hurt her and trust will eventually come. I have trust issues and although I loved(and still do) my [ex] boyfriend I couldn't fully trust him. It just takes time. <3 Best of luck.
2007-03-01 21:24:23 · answer #6 · answered by Kayte 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time. thats the only thing that really ever solves problems...try not to do anything that will every bring up suspicion, and prove to her that you're a great guy who wont mess with her! :)
2007-03-01 21:22:26 · answer #7 · answered by one&only<3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her time. Actions speak louder than words. If you are always true to your word, eventually she will learn to trust you.
2007-03-01 21:23:39 · answer #8 · answered by J F 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋