jealousy/children?

Question

My grandson adores his mum-He loves me aswell his grandma.The problem we have with him he is so jealous,we dont know if its his age 13 or things that have gone on in the past.He has abrother 9 who 1 minute he adores the next he is fighting with.His mum remarried 5 years ago,He goes from hating his stepfather to saying hes not to bad.The tension in the house is terrible at times. to make matters worse the stepdad left my daughter for another woman,then after a week wanted to come back.As my daughter is pregnant to him 4months.This happened just before xmas.My daughter was in a terrible state,and of course my grandson saw all this.She has took him back, she was in such a termoil with being pregnant.Its now like a time bomb at times because i had his brother on a thursday while stepdad was away and grandson had what he called his mum night.Now the problem is if the stepdad goes anywhere near the house even though he is staying there he nearly blows a gasket. is this normal

Answer 1

Hi, Oh i feel sorry for you all, your lives must be in turmoil, your little grandson is so insecure, he has seen the break up of his mum and dad, and now the turmoil of his mum with her 2nd husband and children pick up on the slightest thing so he will know his mum has been hurt and upset. Your daughters husband should be ashamed of himself, putting her and the children through all this, i am not surprised he dosent want him near the house the uncertainty of what is going to happen next must be on his mind. If your daughter and her husband have sorted thing out, the best thing to do is to sit down with him and just explain the basics and how they hope to make a life together now for him and his brother and the new baby, and i hope for everyones sake the marriage works, dont keep children in the dark they pick up on more than you realise. GOOD LUCK

Answer 2

Hardly surprising this boy is upset. He had a dad, then no dad, then a step dad, then no step dad now step dad's back, plus a baby on the way. As you say, he has seen the upset the comings and goings have caused to you and his mum. He may be trying to protect his mother.
On top of that, he'll be dealing with the teenage things of being a teenager, and becoming a man.
Has anyone sat down with him annd his brother and asked them how these events make them feel? It would be a starting point.
Try visiting www.parentlineplus.org.uk, plus they have a section for kids struggling to cope with the step situation. Give them a ring, they are good.

Answer 3

He is acting like this because of insecurities. His home life seems to be very unstable. Children find it hard to except a step parent but to then see him cheat on his mum must be terrible. I think it was the wrong decision for your daughter to take the step dad back and it seems to be for all the wrong reasons.
If I was you, I would do everything in my power to give my grandson some stability.

Answer 4

Perfectly normal and only will get worse. He's a teenager and is in hormone overdrive. Most boys that age are very protective of their mother and it sounds like this little guy has a mother who needs protection. It's going to take a lot of love and understanding for him to come out as a resposible adult on the other side of this. I'm glad to know he has you to give him support while his mother is doing her crazy boy friend thing. Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 5

i think its a mixture of his age and seeing everything that has happened at home. when hes being jealous its like hes trying to protect his mum from a man who has hurt her so bad. may be both your daughter and grandson could do with talking with someone that they trust, or even a councillor. i think your daughter needs to put her children first for a while and not let this man back. if she needs to meet him it would be best if she did it away from her son as not to upset him

Answer 6

smack him in the face