My boyfriend (of 2 years) left his backpack here today after school. I seen some notes in it the other day when he was going through it, so i took it down to my room and read all the notes. They were from his ex girlfriend. They said things like "you were right, i got so lonely in the shower last night. but you would have enjoyed the show afterwards.. i was walking around naked!!" and things like that. He also ditched a class a couple weeks ago to go drive around with her, and he seen how hurt i was, and yet he still continues to talk to her like that? He tells me shes like a sister to him. I just feel torn up inside over it, and whenever i see her in the halls i just want to burst into tears. I feel in the wrong for reading his notes and getting into his buisness and everything, but he's cheated on me before, and i'm scared of it happening again. I also cheated on him afterwards, but we both came clean. Should i tell him i read them, and try talking to him about it?
2007-03-01 18:58:50 · 13 answers · asked by JaggedLittlePill 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I looked at them because i knew they weren't from me. when i seen them i did ask him who they were from, and he said they were from her and that i could read them. I said no because it wasn't right, but when i seen his backpack here tonight, i changed my mind, so basically i had permission to.
2007-03-01 19:07:47 · update #1
Wow~. (sigh!) I hear what you're saying. If you trusted him wholeheartedly, there would be no reason for you to snoop into his bags and at his notes and find something ugly to read about him and his ex gf. That is never fun, nor is it nice. Yet, if you suspect him before you even read the notes and he has done it in the past and was acting funny and aloof, there is ground for suspicion. I say that is most cases it seems that if a bf/gf is still friends &/or in contact with their ex's it is baggage-they cannot let it go and leave it in the past. I'm not saying he is doing anything with her, but the fact alone that it does bother you and he is YOUR bf means he needs to step it up and validate and respect how you feel-especially where the ex is involved. I wouldnt just be jealous, I would be furious if I were you because if he gave you reason to snoop-and im not saying snooping is good-it is wrong technically-but if when you snoop and find something unpleasant, it only confirms your suspicions and that you have every reason to do snoop-because he's creeping behind your back.
2007-03-01 19:11:42 · answer #1 · answered by Noodles 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since you are young, you may not realize this...but you are being treated badly by your boyfriend and potentially creating an unhealthy relationship. If he is your boyfriend, he should love you. And if he loves you, he should not be cheating on you.
He should not be spending time with ex-es. "We're just friends" is simply a phrase immature people use to justify flirting and getting close to somebody outside the relationship.
Tell him you know that he spends time with this girl and that the girl still has the hots for him. Tell him you are offended and you want nothing to do with him until he apologizes and cuts off communication from her.
You are a Godess woman. Do not go into your twenties thinking you must deal with this behavior from men. You are strong enough to be alone rather than be mistreated and disrespected. YOU are the only one he should be thinking of and driving with.
2007-03-01 19:09:25 · answer #2 · answered by shoshana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy is based on your own insecruities. The fact that you cheated on each other, are you going to work on your relationship to be better, or break it off? Respect is vital in a relationship, so is communication. Yes, tell him you read them, since he did say you could, and even if he didn't say you could. As I mentioned, respect and communication are vital in a relationship. You were wrong in reading those notes. No offense intended, but if you are cheating on each other, why stay together? Please, the two of you sit down, hae a private talk, get this out in the open as to if you want to stay together, and not cheat on each other, or break up. I wish you the best. Take care.
2007-03-01 19:13:40 · answer #3 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes...u should tell him the truth..and both of u should sit down and talk about it. ask him if he still has feeling for his ex..if he does then break up and tell him to go with her..it will hurt initially but at least it won't be like he's cheating on u..if he is realli cheating on u i guess there is nothing wrong even if you break up cuz surely u can get someone better than that.
however don't jump into conclusions and ask for break up suddenly..talk things over and get to know if he is really willing to be faithful and loyal to u..its always best if u guys can work it out..
good luck girl..be strong..
2007-03-01 19:07:02 · answer #4 · answered by Gayathri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the best thing to do is probably to forget about it, but that is SOOO much easier said than done! once something like this happens, it will stay on your mind for a while. especially since you feel guilty about reading his notes
maybe you could just tell him that you're worried about where your relationship's going, and that you just don't want to lose him because he means too much to you
but only tell him if it's true! don't make stuff up/exaggerate just to get what you want, because it'll come back to bite you in the butt if you don't tell the truth
but good luck honey, i know this stuff's hard
2007-03-01 19:06:03 · answer #5 · answered by CathyH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt get jealous; its a wasted emotion. While it was wrong of both of you to cheat he doesnt seem mature enough to be with you if he his still communicating with her behind your back and seeing her secretly. I would wash my hands of him...no one is worth making you feel like you arent the best.
2007-03-01 19:06:19 · answer #6 · answered by sharkins82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey girl if you want to know that he likes you so ignore him for few days If you think hes giving you much importance than before do think that he likes you. But he seems flirt .... After this talk to him about your problem. Good luck
2007-03-01 19:04:35 · answer #7 · answered by Goosebump 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go to him immediately, with a big chocolate apology cake. You need to beg his forgiveness for invading his privacy like that.
And from now on mind your own business. I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate him going through your posessions.
2007-03-01 19:04:11 · answer #8 · answered by S h ä r k G û m b ò 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy never helps.
2007-03-01 19:13:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry but if you can let go of him then do just that. looks like he will be doing that a lot.thy say it hard to let your first love go. and he wont let her go. you can hurt him by letting him go
2007-03-01 19:06:37 · answer #10 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋