How to deal with my Inferiority Complex and low self esteem?

Question

I am a Engg graduate and 23 years old.I am an introvert. I feel uncomfortable when i speak to a person who is more knowledgeable than me..I also feel uncomfortable when i speak to girls..what should I do?I am a shy natured guy and always compare myself to others and become deppressed.I have stage fright,sometimes feel unsocial which prevents me from engaging in social activities. These problems troubling me a lot.My parents expect more from me but i am uhhappy for not fulfilling their expectations.Please help me..

Answer 1

You shouldn't compare your self to anyone. You are who you
are. I find that when I don't know what to say to someone, it's
usually because we don't have much to talk about. When you
meet someone and you can talk all night, you know you've
found someone you can relate to. It is hard to talk to girls
sometimes, but the same goes for guys. Alot of people feel
the way you do, and I don't want you to feel affended, but I
think you should see your doctor, cause when you tell him how
you feel, he may prescribe something to help you lose those
feelings. Nothing long term, but sometimes our brains do send
the wrong messages to our bodies. It's normal and it happens
to alot of people. It would give you more confidence and after
you will be glad you seen your doctor. Think about it. I am
not pushing drugs as an answer, but people who don't feel
comfortable in their own skin sometimes need help to get over
that feeling.

Answer 2

Someone once said "There is a certain amount of narcissism in shyness, to assume that people care what you do." Do what you want to do, and don't worry about what others might think.

My recommendation, find an activity you enjoy, and do it.

I was in the same situation, and still am, but then I started going to the Rec Center at my school and playing soccer with people, and I find myself more outgoing both on the soccer court (indoor) and in other areas as well.

If you just pick an activity you like, and do it for the sake of doing the activity, you're bound to meet some people.

As far as the inferiority complex goes, think of something that makes you great. Ca you write? Can you sing? Can you do some thing that other people find difficult? Whenever you feel yourself comparing to others, just think of that thing that makes you amazing. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Try writing a list of everything good about yourself, even the little, insignificant things.

Remember that typically, people are their own worst critics. Chances are others do not think nearly as badly of you as you do. If it helps, you are certainly not alone - I'm pretty much the same. I literally just go for the corner and close myself off in social situations.

As for comparing yourself to others, it's pretty pointless. You are the way you are, and getting depressed over what you are not won't help. Try to see these "more knowledgable" people as an inspiration - if you are feeling insecure when talking to someone "smarter" than you, just remind yourself that you can become as smart as they are if you try.

In the end, it is only a matter of learning to like yourself, and unfortunately, no one but you can tell you how to accomplish that. I wish you good luck on building a healthy ego, it's hard road indeed.

Answer 4

I had this same problem. It didn't start wearing off until I was 26. When you're out in public just think "What would Joey from Friends do?". That always worked for me. Don't think about things so much. Remember that all the bad things about you are only in your head, other people probably don't even notice them. And do what you want to do. Your parents will probably be happy as long as you're happy. I forced myself through 4 years of college, hating every minute of it, trying to compete with my sister until I finally realized that all I wanted was a job with Fedex.

Answer 5

Hi - I was a shy guy when I was young, but I changed when I Got a job and left home at the age of 16.

In recent years I have taken a keen interest in self-development - reading books and surfing the Internet ( a terrific resource for information on anything).

From the info I have read, it seems that people with low self-confidence don't know their true worth.

The are usually in a dependant relationship and living their life to please others.

Maybe their parents never praised them and/or they were bullied at school.

Whatever the reason - if no one will help u - u have to help yourself.

Checkout these websites for free info:
www.self-confidence.co.uk/missing.html
www.thinkrightnow.com
www.selfgrowth.com - www.icreatereality.com

Answer 6

go for some physical excercise ..walk or run ..spend atleast an hour in morning or evening in physical excercise ..it boost up confidence..and u can do some yoga which ramdev baba teach.. it works. Strat today and u will see difference in a week. Give sometime yourself before u get the results..and see the difference ..I think physical excercise is a must..

Answer 7

Take a ToastMasters Class

Also - get a dog and take it to obedience classes, parks and other places to meet people. Often it is easier to start talking to others when you have a conversation piece, other than yourself.
DISCLAIMER: In no way am I suggesting you get a dog only for this purpose - only get a dog if you are prepared to care and love it for life!
Good Luck!

Answer 8

realize that your answer lies within. you really need to sit and ponder about when these feelings started, and try to deal with that feeling. accept it embrace it and just be ok with haveing these fears.
next you gotta learn to not let fear controll your life. because that is what it is doing. fear cripples us, and the only way to remedie it is to face it head on.
do not be a product of your own fear.
through time, realizing this, and identifying it when it is a problem at that moment, will help you get control of it.
you gotta really beleive in yourself, and asking for help is the first step in that.
laughing has helped my social anxiety, i get a kick out of the pressure, i just make light of it, and let things be. I enjoy watching people get all bent out of shape, and realize i was once one of them. I look for the kind of people like me, warm and kind, and take comfort in searching them out.
you gotta realize that most everyone out there feels just like you do, they just deal with it better/worse.
you gotta realize that beauty lies in individuality and not in what you own, or how much you know, and that it takes all kinds, and that you excell in areas they cannot.
you gotta beleive that you are rich in your soul with love, and kindness, and that shines from within. people are attracted to that, like moths to the flame...
good luck

Answer 9

Dear Deepak,

Sai Ram. Bach Flowers will help you in my view and to know more about them, go to the following:

http://floweressencesintro.onlinecourse.com

a free, online course on Bach Flower Remedies. You can select your own remedies there and try them out. Wish you well.

Answer 10

have confidence in yourself
and try to find the good things in your own self
bcoz due to this u will reliaze the
value of your own self
anw would enjoy
being yourr ownself
have cconfidence