nathan was born 2 mounths early and at that time my boyfriend & i lived sepratly he lived at his parents and i was living with my grategarand mother who raised me form age3 and up but anyways when he grue in to toldler hood his addtiude had changed from loving to really almost hateing his dad.i knowtest his cange in behaver when he would bring him back home form having on nathan for the weekend &now it seems to gottien woise sence we moved in to gether and also became pregnet with his brother . thank god he loves his brother! and surpriseingly he is not jellous of eathan! but shawn trys to get him to do anything at all, he sits or stands there yelling at shawn or telling him hes not his dad or stop telling me what to do!!! and i am at my whits end about them 2 cause when they are around each other its nothing but fighting and yelling i dont need eathan to start this behavor at his dad eather! even shopping is a night maire cant get through it with out shawn and nathan fighting! HELPME
2007-03-01 16:37:36 · 14 answers · asked by mary k 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are saying that your son's father did not live with you when your son was born, so, now that you are all living together, your son does not respect his Father, and is always yelling ,and fighting with his father. The only solution your problem is to sit your Son down, and in no uncertain terms tell him that he has to get along with his dad, because like it or not he is his Father, and he is there to stay with all of you. Also tell your son's Father that he has to show his son some respect and to try to show him that he Loves him and that he is proud to have him as his Son. If talking to him does not work, then what you should do is give him some whacks on his behind when he starts to yell to his dad. My daughter has a Son that when she got Married for the second time her Husband, had a Heart to Heart talk with my Daughter's son and he told him that he was going to try and be the best Father he could be for him and he has always kept his promise, my grandson calls him Dad and he Loves him a lot. I hope that with time your Son will be able to get along with his dad, but your son, needs to abide by whatever rules you impose on him and if he doesn't then tell him he is going to keep getting spanked until he learns to behave with his Dad. Good Luck, and I hope you can try and get some solution to your problem.
2007-03-01 16:57:05 · answer #1 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is definitely a tough one. I cant imagine being in your place, however Nathan is only four. Take him to a counselor or something and take care of it before he grows into being a hateful person. Tell Shawn to just try to ignore or be a loving and caring father no matter what. I think Nathan just needs some guidance here and there. Don't be to harsh to Nathan to because, after all hes only four. Good luck!
2007-03-01 16:45:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 4 and 8 year old boys do this also when they can't get their way. My husband just sends them to their room to calm down or take something that they really like away until they apologize.
Just have patients, show love, compliment him when he does something good, and discipline when he is bad.
Have him talk to his Dad on what is bothering him.
When he is acting up have Dad handle it in a calm manner but firm at the same time. Yelling at your son will not help the problem it will only make the problem worse.
Your son feels like he has to share you with his dad and brother now.
Things will get better. Trust me. I have been there also.
Parents as teachers helped me out.
2007-03-01 16:59:07 · answer #3 · answered by nasusnna20032000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The father needs to act like an adult. If either of you lets a 4 year old dominate you, what will you do when he's a teenager? He needs time outs until he can behave himself. When he misbehaves, don't yell or argue. Put him in a room where there are no toys or anything to play with for 15 mins. That will seem like a long time to him. Put him back in if he starts up again. He will learn that it doesn't pay to misbehave. Act like adults!
2007-03-01 16:50:41 · answer #4 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well judging by how you spell and butcher the English language I'd have to say you're either George W. Bush or a woman who isn't very smart so let me type this slowly so you'll understand it. S P A N K his butt and let him know he is acting B A D ! He's 4 he doesn't get to decide what adult he obeys. He's not a toy , he's not your best friend, and no matter what the hippie chick next door or the one selling a book tells you he can not be reasoned with -HE'S 4!! Spank his butt and be the parent.
2007-03-01 17:14:31 · answer #5 · answered by older_fat_male 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're an adult... if you can't control a 4 year old, the problem is with you, not him. Assuming he isn't mentally ill, you need to be more firm and insist that he behave in a respectful manner towards all adults. If he doesn't, make it clear that you will punish him and then follow through. Once you put it in his mind that he can disobey you and nothing happens, it will be very difficult to change later. So you need to be firm, and the sooner the better.
2007-03-01 16:46:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you have a 3 children versus 2.
The key factor here is time and patience.
The father needs to step up and act like an adult instead of argue with a toddler.
Try having them do things together to show them how to work as a team. As dumb as this may sound but have them try to build something together. ( toy track, step stool, anything that needs to assembled will work)
Have them partner up with another son and dad and play basketball or anything that would make them team up.
They will laugh, and smile.
The father needs to take the active role here. You can not force it. He needs to want to make the realationship better too.
Your son will act up but if his dad has patience and is calm. Your son will realize he has no one to fight with. Believe me, he will act up. But again patience from the dad is a huge factor. He then needs to look at your son in the eye and discpline him calmly.
2007-03-01 19:29:59 · answer #7 · answered by dirtdiva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shawn needs to be firm about who is the dad! you two should sit nathan down and explain to him firmly but kindly that there will be no more nonsense from now on because you and shawn are his parents--why aren't you two married by the way? and why are you having another child when you can't even handle your first child??? you and shawn need to grow up and stop letting YOUR children run all over you!!!
2007-03-01 19:09:40 · answer #8 · answered by wat_more_can_i_say? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a red flag went up when you said when he went and visited his father , he changed. It appears something happened between the two of them alone that you do not know about. He is old enough to express himself verbally about it all IF HE HAS A SAFE PERSON TO TALK TO, like a family relative he adores or a Sunday school teacher or good freind's mom or ??????? if needed, a counselor.
2007-03-01 16:46:48 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your kid. and listen to what he has to say I think dad is doing something that Nathan does like and more than likely its to his brother and Nathan is pissed but he cant fight dad except when you are around.
Keep an eye on daddy!!!!!!!
2007-03-01 19:10:18 · answer #10 · answered by try out 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋