What can I do to get my mom to stop drinking?

Question

I feel like the mom I knew is dead, now she just rambles on and on about depressing and irrational things. She always sounds so self assured, like she feels artistic, but she's just amusing herself. She hasn't smiled in years. I'm not sure if the alcohol has done it to her or if she's just changing. I'm a teen and shes in her mid forties. I go to parties but can't touch alcohol anymore because I dread becoming like her. Shouldn't kids WANT to emulate their parents? What should I do? I miss my mom.

Answer 1

I'm glad you see what alcohol does to people and that you dont want it.

Your mother has to want help. One thing you might try is to contact a local rehab center and see if they can help you set up an Intervention. They will explain what that is and if they think it can be done.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this kinda thing. Your message is actually heartbreaking of how you miss your old mom though it's quite understandable how you feel that way. Any type of addiction is considered a disease and a chronic illness. It's Not your fault, and it's ultimately up to the addict to get the professional help that they need including treatment whether inpatient (residential) and/or outpatient and continually attending 12 step support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). And how brilliant that you have decided to not even touch alcohol!

And just as others have said, how about talking to your guidance counselor about it. Perhaps he or she has some resources to help if even finding out about doing an intervention (a process that tries to get the person to break thru the denial that he or she has a problem) with other concerned family members and/or friends and your counselor can perhaps give you info about possible local support groups for teens who have a parent with a drinking problem. It's called Ala-teen similar to Ala-non (alanon is for adults). Ala-teen is a self-help support group and you can perhaps network and meet other teens that deal with a parent that has a substance abuse problem and not feel so alone.

A pre-intervention, btw, is done with the intervention/addictions specialist and loved ones first withOut the knowledge of the addict/problem drinker, just fyi. And that is to rehearse what each person will say that they've noticed in her behavior that would indicate that she has a problem and needs outside help. There is typically consequences put into place if the person refuses to go into treatment. It depends on how the therapist sees the situation though. And interventions are not typically cheap although it's better to just take one step at a time.

Please don't keep silent about this. You deserve to have a secure home atmosphere. Being a teen is tough enough without having to deal with one's parent's mental and physical health so much.

Answer 3

You obviously love your Mom a lot but you need to help her. She is very sick.

Search out a counselling group close by you and go without her. Ask for advise about staging an intervention and they should be able to walk you through it. An intervention should be staged with the support of some of her friends/ family and a professional.

Then when she starts getting the help she needs, stay in touch with those close family/friends to support you both. This thing destroys not only the sick person but those around them.

It is a lot of hard work and it may get worse before it gets better. Don't give up.

Good luck.

Answer 4

I know exactly how you feel! My dad did a lot of drinking and I could never get over it. I'm in college now and I don't see him anymore. I hope it's not like that for you and your mom. My best advice is to try and talk to her (I know this is pretty useless sometimes). Try telling her you don't like it and that you wish she would stop. This worked with my stepdad a few times. Now he's completely stopped drinking.

Remember, you can't change anyone, only yourself. You can only hope for the best. I hope this was helpful.

Answer 5

you can't stop your mom's drinking. you can't help her. she has to be ready to help herself. this is her problem, and it is not your fault.
the one good thing about her drinking and behavior is it has shown you what not to do.
as for your question about emulating parents, no, kids should not want to emulate their parents. kids should want to be better than their parents, much the same as when you become a parent you will want your children to do better than you have done.
i am impressed with your inner strength and determination. too many people look at the situation they are in and give up....yet here you are already striving to rise above the problem, and not be part of the problem!
please get in touch with A.A. they have support groups for children and teens like yourself. they will help you get through this and in turn you will be better prepared to deal with your mom.
i wish you luck.
take good care
stand strong

Answer 6

First, you sound very mature about it. Go straight forward with it and tell her. If that does not work then try getting a family friend or something to organize her a meeting with a psychologist. if not, maybe talk to Ur school counselor and she can help. Good Luck!

Answer 7

To be honest tell your mom that you want to talk to her(but make sure she is sober). It doesn't work when someone is drunk to get mad or talk to them. They are not thinking rationally when intoxictated.
Tell her how you feel and truly open up to her and share your feelings with her about how it makes you feel when she drinks!!! If you feel like you can't do that then write a note or letter to her and share that way. Good Luck!

Answer 8

Sierra Blue is right. You can make her stop. She has to do it on her own for her own reasons.
Go to Al-A-Teen or Al Anon and start mettings with them. They can help a whole lot

Answer 9

You should try talking to your mom. Just ask for her to sit down and talk and baybe she'll understand. Show how you really feel about what she's doing and how it affects you. She just MAYBE stop and listen to you.

Answer 10

goto counseling with or without her.