How do we get our three year old to lie down and go to sleep?

Question

We do the whole bedtime routine: bath, stories, pajamas, singing a song in bed, etc. We've got everything timed to finish up at 8:30 when we want her to go to sleep. We leave her room, with her night light on, and then she starts calling out to us and asking for things--whatever she can think of that will get a little more attention. If we play along, we spend the next half hour going back into her room over and over. If we try to draw the line, she throws a screaming fit. She knows how to lie down and go to sleep if she wants to. How can we get 8:30 to be the real bedtime?

Thanks everyone for your suggestions!

Answer 1

You have to be firm and deal with the fits, she'll eventually understand she is not the boss of you.

Answer 2

Start your routine a little earlier if you are not making your goal of 8:30. My son's routine is a gradual winding down process. First we do something physical like wrestling or playing catch (this will hep her burn of energy). Then we sit down and read. Then we get his jammies on & teeth brushed, etc. Then he gets in bed and we sing and I give him his stuffed animals. Make sure going potty is one of the last things she does before she gets in bed and give her anything reasonable (like a sip of water) before she asks. Then get tough and refuse any other requests. If she comes out take her right back in and don't say much. If you keep being firm she will eventually go to bed without a fight. Also, look for little things that might be behind this behavior: is her nightlight too bright? or does she not have one and she is scared of the dark now? or any number of things.. but the ideas above may do the trick.

Answer 3

stick to the routine. put a nightlight and a cup of water in the room. tell her you love her and remind her that she is to stay in bed. close the door and resist the urge to go back. going potty is the only reason she is allowed to leave the room (make sure she knows this). leave her alone.
she may scream, yell, kick walls, and come out. after a week or 2, things will become easier. some children need a bit of time to relax before they fall asleep, so allow her to play or read books in bed.
if she comes out and wants your attention, pick her up with her facing away from you so that there is no eye contact. do not speak to her. put her in bed and close the door again.
she is fighting you for control. she needs reassurance that you will always be there and that YOU are the parent.
relax and realize that it is a stage that will pass soon.

Answer 4

is she really tired at 8:30? make sure that she is. does she take naps? if she does shorten them to maybe just lying on the couch and resting. and maybe before you start your bedtime routine that you get down on the floor and wrestle with her to wear her out so when she goes to be she is tired. maybe when you read the stories put her in her bed and let her tell you a story and you can help her make things up like pretending that shes a beautiful butterfly and your the ladybug and ask her questions like are we flying or walking and where are we going. play along with her in a soft voice and then tell her to go to sleep and dream about being a butterfly and that you will see her in the morning and talk all about it.

Answer 5

search online for Love and Logic Parenting, it is great. Every single time you respond to any negative behavior from her, she will increase it to get what she wants. With little ones, change the routine and make it into a game. Plan ahead and pretend to have a camping in her bedroom and you have a sleeping bag too or such, make it fun to go to bed and then gradually back off. It doesn't have to be something huge, kids have great imaginations, make her room the princess sleeping room with some scarves etc. and in the day talk about it and how fun it would be to be a princess and read her story books with pictures of princesses, I used to get my students in 1st grade to clean the floor at the end of the day by pretending to be vacuum cleaners etc. make it fun, distract her from the power play, Kids always win power plays.

Answer 6

i would say try getting her to go to bed at 8 so then if it is a half an hour then it is 8:30 but also if you just let her cry and cry it usually puts them to sleep because they're so tired....or tell her if she doesn't stop getting out of bed or calling that tomorrow she will have to go to bed earlier or not get to sing a song or read a book....maybe give her a punishment....its worth a try

Answer 7

Sounds to me like you are doing too much to begin with (singing a song in bed).
My son has had problems, I researched, this is what I found out and has worked for him. (My son, 26, my grandson 2).

When it is time for her to go to bed, turn out lights, and sit quietly in the room with her. Make no eye contact, or say anything. Very important. If she calls, don't answer. If and when she gets out of bed, put her back in bed, cover her ( say nothing, no eye contact), and take your seat again. Repeat, until she goes to sleep.
Sounds like she's the boss and she knows it.
Good Luck--this worked for my Grandson, who would not, I repeat NOT stay in his crib, or his room. Took about 6 nights.

Answer 8

it's hard but just don't give into her fits, when you put her down make sure she won't need anything else for the night. I have a 7 and 5 yr old that still try this occasionally, the key is being consistent.

Answer 9

Hehe, troublesome tots. What I used to do for my sister is you get her in your lap, read her a nice story in a quiet voice, then about halfway through the story, put her in her bed. Then, continue to read the story while rubbing her tummy or head. She should start to be sleepy. If that doesn't do the trick right away, then get her some warm milk!
Hope that helped some!

~*~StardustFaerie24~*~

Answer 10

Don't give in.

Go through your routine, kiss her goodnight, shut her door, and ignore her.

It will be hard at first, but after a while, she'll quit screaming when it doesn't get her what she wants.