I was raised in a Roman Catholic home. I was christened, first communion, confession and conformation. He has no "official" religion. Our daughter was christened into the Catholic faith and his parents did not attend nor did they explain to me why they "couldn't" attend. We have discussed a Catholic wedding, but I am concerned that his parents/ family will not attend because it is a Catholic ceremony. Please help!!! I don't want to give up my religion and beliefs, but I want his family to participate.
2007-03-01 15:40:01 · 16 answers · asked by colorfulswanson 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Hi! My husband was born and raised Catholic, and I was born and raised Southern Baptist. His parents would have thrown a fit if we didn't have our wedding in a Catholic church, and my parents were a bit disappointed that we wouldn't have the wedding in my childhood church. What we did was compromise... we had the wedding in the Catholic church but did not have a full mass. That way, we didn't have to worry about only half of the guests being able to take communion. It worked out great for everyone and was a beautiful ceremony! His parents are going to have to give a little... the idea of them not coming to the christening is unbelievable, considering it is their granddaughter. You and your fiancee need to do what is going to make you both comfortable, and hopefully both sides will support it. Good luck!
2007-03-02 07:31:08 · answer #1 · answered by springbeanqueen 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Speak with them in person or at least directly somehow. Then speak with your pastor. Catholic Canon Law does not allow a "double wedding". There is only one marriage ceremony, but there are some options that your pastor can help with. You probably would like it within a Mass, but I would suggest that you do not and keep it simple within a Liturgy of the Word only. Take care that you do this with your pastors help, because doing things wrong like without a catholic priest or deacon, a Dispensation, the Bishops permission to have the ceremony outside of a catholic Church will all INVALIDATE the Marriage. Then you will need to deal with fixing an invlaid Marriage.
2007-03-03 13:55:51 · answer #2 · answered by Br. Rich OFS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked his family if they would be attending if it were in a Catholic Church? I guess the only way to know is to ask them directly. Then, you will understand what's what and go from there. I too am Catholic and am marrying a man with no "official" religion, his family is the same but will be coming to the wedding. (We asked!)
If your fiance's family is adament about not attending a church wedding, perhaps you could have a non denominational type service in a park or other setting, or go to the courthouse. Then, you and your husband could go to your church alone at a later date and have your marriage blessed.
2007-03-01 15:48:06 · answer #3 · answered by K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to him and have him talk to his parents to see if they will come. Also ask him if you have a catholic wedding will he be OK with it if his parents don't come. You shouldn't have to give up your religion and beliefs but he should be able to have a wedding that his family will attend. And also are you allowed to have a catholic wedding since you have a baby out of wedlock? Isn't that against the catholic religion?
2007-03-01 15:48:22 · answer #4 · answered by bubbles 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
being a catholic born and raised. myself and just getting married to a non catholic. I know how much it means to you but it is just one day we had the same problem with his family. we chose a wedding chapel and had a non domination priest marry us just so everyone could be just as excited as we were. It dose not make you any less catholic. and actually my husband is taking classes now to change his religion to catholic. it will all work out in the end. Good Luck!
2007-03-03 07:41:39 · answer #5 · answered by fobfanlovesgreg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that you want his family to come to your wedding, but it's your wedding. If you and your fiance want a Catholic ceremony, then that's ya'lls choice. You can't make you wedding decision around other people. You won't be happy that way. You and your fiance should decide what ya'll want and invite whoever you want to invite. If his parents wont attend because it's a Catholic ceremony, then that's their loose and trust me, when you start showing them pics, they will regret it.
2007-03-02 08:50:42 · answer #6 · answered by warriorchic84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your wedding, not theirs. This is their hang-up. Don't let it be yours. If they miss your wedding, it's their loss. How is your husband-to-be handling this? Who is he siding with? If he is siding with them now, get ready for a miserable marriage where your in-laws will ruin everything for you as your husband stands meekly by doing nothing for you.
If he is siding with you, you need to stand firm on your decision to have the wedding that the both of you want. It sounds as if his family is trying to manipulate you into doing things their way by threatening not to come. Don't give in. They have no right to bully you out of your religious beliefs.
After the wedding, whether they come or not, you can count on things being chilly. Consider the possibilities of moving far away from them so they don't try to bully you in other aspects of your marriage.
I also strongly suggest knowing exactly where your husband-to-be stands with this and make sure you are indeed on the same page. If you two are not seeing eye-to-eye now, things will be very rocky after you are married.
2007-03-01 16:03:04 · answer #7 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are not rejecting you or your religion directly, but they feel uncomfortable pretending to be something they are not -- even for the sake of their children. if your significant other accepts your religion, then that's all that should matter. i'm not saying ignore his parents for the rest of your life when it comes to events that have religious tones, but you can't please them completely because it is your life that you have to lead.
if you have the means, do a double-wedding. my aunt did a "double" type event because she is a strict buddhist and her husband's family are strict catholics. they just did two ceremonies. however this might have been because their families live on completely different coasts..
anyway, this doesn't apply directly to your situation, but hopefully it gives you some other perspectives.
2007-03-01 15:48:03 · answer #8 · answered by M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please don't panic so soon, you have to ask them first and you will know if they plan to attend.
.Believe me when I tell you that your Husband to be will accept your Catholic Religion. And, if he has a good relationship with his parents, they will attend the Wedding.
I had a similar situation and still have my Catholic Faith.
2007-03-01 15:53:17 · answer #9 · answered by Seeanna 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is ask. If it is a church thing see about being married in a different setting by a catholic priest. If it's a catholic thing see what compromise can be made. After all that is what marriage is all about!!
2007-03-01 15:45:38 · answer #10 · answered by KC 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋