I am in bit of a dilemma-I need advice One of my close friend's sister (who I am friends with but I wouldn't call her my best friend) is getting married and asked me to be in her wedding, I accepted, everything has been great until now, the bridal party got together and set a date for the shower. two weeks later I found out that I have a family member that is graduating from law school and it is on the same day as the shower. I mentioned it to my "close friend" and I didn't even get the whole statement out and she said "your commitment is to the wedding and I don't want to hear anything different"
Well I felt that was kind of harsh since I just basically brought it up in conversation and I know it's her sister's wedding and she wants the best for her so I kinda shook that comment off. 30 min later I get a text saying that I needed to tell her whether I was going to be a part of the shower by that night. I told her nothing was going to change because I was still contributing to the shower and I did not want the date changed... that I just needed some time to think about my dilemma. well the next day I called my relative and told her my dilemma, she offered to move her party until later in the day so I could attend both. I called my friend back up and she was basically stand-offish and rude towards me.
ok so fast-forward to now.... my "close friend" has told me that she does not want me in the wedding anymore because I seem like I have no interest and that I have totally hurt her feelings. I called her sister and she told me that I was still in the wedding and she wants me to be but if it is too hard for me to stand up because of my "close friend" that she understands
MY QUESTION TO YOU ALL:::
Do I back down because clearly this "not so close friend of mine" is going to make this process a living hell for me (by the way she is the maid-of-honor) or do I suck it up and not care about what she thinks and be there for her sister's special day...
2007-03-01 15:35:02 · 5 answers · asked by nyc_broadway_baby 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Just because you cannot be there for the shower does not mean that you are not committed to being a great bridesmaid. A good bride would be flexible and understanding. You should go to your cousins graduation and just explain to the bride that you will be there for everything else. At my bridal shower, two of my bridesmanids could not make it and we carried on without them and made sure to mention them at the shower.
2007-03-01 15:45:45 · answer #1 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am with Punkin on this. Weddings are stressful... and this is no time to throw a wrench in the bride's plans. So, no, do not back down. If so, you will have many people talking behind your back. You committed to this; now honor that commitment. Go to the shower even if you can stay only 10 minutes. The bride will understand and will be very grateful that you did come . As for her sister, she owns that nasty attitude .... and that is her problem. Don't allow her to spoil your day as a bridesmaid.
2007-03-02 03:30:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have made a fortunate escape from a Bridesmaidzilla. This is an odd situation, because the bride herself seems pretty cool. For the sake of harmony, bow out of the wedding. You can still be a guest.
You weren't out of line. Things happen, and your "close friend" was very rude about the party dilemma. It's nice your family was so accommodating towards you.
2007-03-01 16:58:24 · answer #3 · answered by Sandy Lou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would thank my relative for the offer of moving the party at a later time. Since the "BRIDE" has no problem and it is her day not her sister's. Go to the shower as planned and enjoy yourself if your so-called close friend acts like an idiot that is her problem and not yours. So once the bride arrives quietly take her aside and remind her that you have to leave and proceed to enjoy yourself at your relative's party as well. I had a bridesmaid who had to leave my reception because her husband just wanted to go home, when she pulled me aside I thanked her for being there and told her to drive carefully and no one was the wiser and I had a good time.
2007-03-01 15:53:06 · answer #4 · answered by Punkin 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You've dug yourself into a bit of an etiquette hole here. It's very rude to accept one offer and then cancel to accept a different offer. Your friend's rudeness is really only response to your own rudeness. You then dug yourself even deeper by allowing the graduate to change her scheduled party on your behalf. What you should have done was tell your family member that you had a prior committment and would be unable to attend her graduation celebrations, but you wish her all the best in the future.
2007-03-01 16:13:16 · answer #5 · answered by Jetgirly 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋