ok there's this guy that i have been with for the last 15 yrs off and on (we lost our virginity together) I feel like he's the only one I truly love and I know that he loves me but the only problem is he's in prison, he gets out in two years do u think i should wait for him. He really wants us to get married while he's there. I really do believe that it will be worth the wait but it just seems like it's such a long time.
2007-03-01 15:34:49 · 27 answers · asked by candy4urmouth35 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
This is from personal experience. Almost the exact same way. It will not be easy doing time with him, but if you choice to do the time. Do it be faithful, see him every time you can possibly see him. But don't get married, if you love him enough you will stick with him and if he really loves you he will trust you. And b/c prison does change a person alot. And when he gets out no matter if you see him every Sunday, he will still be different and you will have to get to know him once again as well as him will have to get to know you. But if it is anything like mine, I would not change it. I did 3 years with my husband, he got out it was not easy we had to work at it. Now time has passed and we have the best relationship. He respects and loves me more then anything but God. So if you love him stick it out with him, just be aware that you are not taking the easy road.
2007-03-02 04:13:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you kinda answered your own question. You said you really believe it'll be worth it. Ok then, there you go. I don't understand why you think two years is too long when you've been with him for 15 years more or less. You need to approach the next two years the same as you have the other years - a happy life with the man you love. That's all that matters. Don't worry about later. Live in the present and enjoy what you have. Even though he's in prison, he's still yours.
However, your words make me wonder whether you have any doubts now that he is in jail. Suddenly, two years is a long time to you. Are you using that an excuse to not marry him? It's ok if that's the truth Whatever your reason could be, it doesn't matter in this forum; simply be clear about it to yourself. Just be honest with yourself and with him. Don't be afraid to make a decision for YOUR happiness. You don't want to marry someone and regret it.
2007-03-01 23:42:15 · answer #2 · answered by Opal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a lot of your decision would have a lot to do with why he's in prison.
If it's for a violent crime, don't fool yourself into believing that he absolutely won't repeat his actions on you.
If it's a federal crime, like tax evasion, do you really want such a questionable person messing your credit with his mistakes?
Keep in mind, that since he made a mistake big enough to land him in jail, he is likely to do it again. That can ruin you emotionally, financially, and put you in physical danger.
I say, if you really want to wait for him and marry him, wait a while and see what kind of person he is then. If he doesn't change, you may or may not decide that you have grown up past this character and want to do better. If he does change, you may or may not find that he has changed for the worse.
Or, and you may have guessed already that this is what I personally recommend, you could back off from this jailbird and set some higher standards for a life partner.
2007-03-01 23:54:13 · answer #3 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no reason not to wait. If this guy is the one and you know that you will be together forever, why do you need to seal the deal now? Two years may seem like forever but if you have been off and on for 15 years, what is another 2? You'll be able to plan your wedding to be exactly how you want and get everything in order. I'd say wait. But it's your life and only you can live it so do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, best of luck.
2007-03-01 23:46:56 · answer #4 · answered by Katie A 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
NO, I don't think you should wait. that's just a crazy romantic idea. Marriage is about being a partner, and he can't be much of a partner if he's in prison. Just because you were each other's first does NOT mean you are destined to be together. You can do much much much better than to marry someone who's already been to prison---odds are very good that he;ll end up going back. Good luck, I feel sorry for you, but deep inside, you must know that you deserve better.
2007-03-01 23:40:37 · answer #5 · answered by preciselyright 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you should wait because if you been In a off and on relationship for fifteen years you must love each other to keep coming back for more. Also you said that you both lost your virginity together so you guys had to now each other for awhile. But you have to ask yourself is it worth the wait. Two years may be a long time but 15 is longer
2007-03-01 23:40:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Only jokesters think they can meet a marital
commitment from a prison. While he is in two
yrs & can socialize with inmates, I suggest
Doll, that you go out with girlf's & some dbl
dates. He is paying for a crime. Why should you put life on hold. Love is okay, but don't be his doormat & key to come to when he gets
out. He will have to make a better man of himself once out or you may never see what
you fell in love with again. Both of you can do
much self improvement and add education in
the next two years to make time go faster if
it's real love. It would be criminal of you to
pussy him. Pardon the right expression.
2007-03-02 00:24:54 · answer #7 · answered by LuckyLilTroll2U 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if you've already been with him for FIFTEEN years, what would an extra two hurt? If you believe that he is the one and you can't picture any other man waiting for you at the end of the aisle, then WAIT for him. My boyfriend's brother is in prison and his girlfriend is having the same problem. One major thing to consider is "why did he go to prison". it is none of my business, but ask yourself that if you do wait for him and the two of you marry, will he go back to prison or jail again for the same or other reasons? TRUST YOUR GUT. it is never ever wrong. if there's a tiny voice saying "wait" or "don't wait" then trust it. hope it helps
2007-03-01 23:45:44 · answer #8 · answered by laughstooloud87 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u gotta be careful with that, because when a man gets outta prison, its like a new found freedom, and he's gonna wanna hook up with women, and celebrate it.... i mean, not everyone is the same, but stereotypically that's what they do...
if i were u, i would take these few years and do what's best for u, meaning, live life, have fun, experience new loves, new people.... then at least you'll know for sure that's the person u should be with once he's out and the time is right. i would take these next two years and be a bit selfish... because once u tie the knot, its not just about u anymore........
2007-03-01 23:40:30 · answer #9 · answered by nay-nay 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is too long to wait, especially for someone that's life has been changed forever ... prison can completely change a person; he may not be the person you fell in love with.
You only live once, you need to move on and experience life - I know that's not the answer you are looking for, but it is reality.
2007-03-02 00:08:01 · answer #10 · answered by Advice Please 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋