I have been currently been dating my girlfriend for about 7 months now. Since the day we have started going out her ex has been texting her or calling her daily. He has sent her flowers while we were going out and also tells her he loves her from time to time. He has threatened & disrespected me, & disrespected her mom, & also her. They dated for two years & that was her first bf. They went through alot together & she says he helped her through alot to. We consistantly get into arguments over him cuz I dont beleive he should be doing this. None of her family likes him whats so ever & he is a psychotic. He has threatened suicide & calls when he is drunk saying he is going to crash into a tree. I try talking to her & telling her that he is the only reason why we fight most of the time. She seems to try to hide things so I wont get mad, but then I find out & still get mad. I try telling her that it hurts me to see her still wanting to be friends with him. I love her but what should i do?
2007-03-01 15:17:25 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That sound exactly like me and my ex.
I dated my boyfriend (now husband) just when i broke up with him. Several months down the road he calls me, text me but i NEVER entertain. My boyfriend was furious. We almost got into fight because of this. Then i thought, it's worthless and ridiculous to fight with boyfriend over an ex. C'mon! Ex is a past. So I had my cell phone number changed. And inform office not to give out my new number to anyone. My ex even came to my house and talk my mum! She knows how to handle him and she's very supportive of me (because she doesn't like him either).
IF your gf is really in love with you, she should come clean. No hiding, no denial. She should just cut off her relationship with her ex. To the extend of not being friends with him anymore. Until then you can enjoy a loving relationship with your gf. Else, you will be haunted by her ex forever!
2007-03-01 15:29:06 · answer #1 · answered by Troy Girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs a reality check...BIG TIME!
I understand that he was her first boyfriend and that he may have helped her through a tough time in her life...but that by no means gives him the right to intrude on the relationship that she has now, with you. She doesn't 'OWE' him anything and if he genuinely cared about her, he wouldn't expect her to jump at his beck and call. He would let her go.
With the whole suicide thing - he may just be looking for attention (and obviously from her) or if in fact he is serious, then he needs to get some help from a professional...and your girlfriend should suggest this too him.
The situation isn't fair to you or her. However, you must have very strong feelings for her to have stuck around so long - Does she realise how great you are? Maybe you should remind her. Personally, if my partner wasn't treating me as his one and ONLY girlfriend, I would give him an ultimatum - or I would simply leave. You shouldn't be made to feel that you are dating her AND her ex boyfriend! That's just wrong and you deserve better than that!
All I know is that you need to do something about it and make some changes soon - otherwise you will be wasting you time and prolonging more heartache. It's tough - but you gotta start making some choices and make her aware of what the outcomes might be. Is she willing to lose you??!?? If so, then you are better off moving on...and sooner rather than later.
Good luck buddy.
2007-03-01 23:41:57 · answer #2 · answered by Jezmith 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would ask her why she feels the need to be involved with him still seeing the pain he brings to you and the family not to mention your relationship. let her know that you want nothing more then to be with her and love her but its hard when you feel like your competing with someone else. dont get aggressive with her just let her know how you feel and bring up valid reasons as to why she should get him out of her life. its hurting you, the family and your relationship. a good point id bring up is that they arent dating now for a reason after two years of being together, so why talk to him at all? if he was worth still talking to, she might as well never have broken up with him. good luck to you!
2007-03-01 23:23:57 · answer #3 · answered by sarah s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its very hard when you love someone so much that you cant really say how you feel,,, but by no means should you have to put up with that ,, and she shouldn't make you,, but you know we all know this but its really up to you can you try and deal with it and hope it stops ?,, can you just say to her i had enough? but its about how would you feel if she said OK we are done? are you ready for that? if i was you i would try and explain to her how would she feel if the shoe was on the other foot and your x was texting you and such? i feel for you cuz it sounds like you love her very much,,, but on the other hand you shouldn't be treated like that, i hope this help to see what might happen by either choice and the best of luck to you both
2007-03-01 23:24:55 · answer #4 · answered by mala 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, you are not in the wrong here. Its great that your honest with her. Being freinds with your ex is one thing, but it sounds like this ex is trying to ruin your relationship. Its not right for him to use the "suicide attempt" crap and its not right for her to hide things. To be frank I would of ended him when he disrespected me.. Maybe she needs to look at what she is doing to you...
2007-03-01 23:24:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weather the storm good friends are hard to come by, if you hold on to envious feelings you could Her, be supportive.
2007-03-01 23:23:05 · answer #6 · answered by Dr. JAK 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell hm to fly off ( not to say the common word)... Is not like they were married... right? She is supposed to set the limits....
2007-03-01 23:21:20 · answer #7 · answered by Kaykee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not much you can do she takes the calls for a reason
2007-03-01 23:20:53 · answer #8 · answered by Confused 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her that her communicating with her ex makes you uncomfortable. Ask her to please let go of him and concentrate more on you.
2007-03-01 23:21:38 · answer #9 · answered by sherockstn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the first thing you should do is wonder if they are sneaking around behind ur back
2007-03-01 23:20:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋