Mom and I had a huge fight. She asked me to do something; I forgot. I admit, I was wrong. She called me back, asking me why I didn't do it. I apologized. She said, "bye", and hung up. I called her back, asking her why she hung up on me. She said she didn't, because she said goodbye. Then, she began yelling at me. I told her that she was being nasty and mean for no reason. She told me that I was being disrespectful by not letting her talk. I told her that I didn't like the way she talked to me...she said that no matter what, children shouldn't challenge their parents. Now, we're not speaking. My mom has a serious anger problem...was I wrong?
2007-03-01 14:22:15 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You admitted your mistake so that was good, but you should have left it at that and not called back. I think she's right we should never challenge our parents because they'll always win, we need them more... you know for stuff. Just call her and appologize, tell her both of you guys were wrong for getting mad and get a cup of coffee.
I'm gonna tell you what a very close friend told me once when i was pist at my mom. She said, don't let family time go to waste on foolish arguments cuz later on you'll regret it. You see, my friend had gotten in a fight with her mom one night and didn't speaking to her for two months on the third day her mom was killed in a car accident, she regrets that till this day. Since she told me that I can't stay pist at ANYBODY it's scary to think how you can lose someone so important to you in a heart beat.
So make up, and love your family as if it was the last day/night you spend with them. I know you might think this is going way beyond, but it's reality!
2007-03-01 15:27:42 · answer #1 · answered by It's Me 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just because she said "bye" doesn't mean she didn't hang up on you. To me, hanging up on someone is ending the conversation abruptly and THAT'S disrespectful no matter who it's done to. She could have said "I'm too angry to talk right now" or something along those lines. Secondly, you admitted you had forgotten and apologized for it! At the point she started yelling at you she wasn't talking...she was venting anger. Just because she's your mom, doesn't mean that she's always right or has a right to say whatever she wants to you. If you're an adult, then there comes a time when she has to recognize that her child can't be treated as a child any more and she needs to have an adult relationship with you. It doesn't sound like she's in the frame of mind to realize that right now so maybe you could write out your feelings and try it talk it over later. Sounds like a difficult situation...good luck to you.
2007-03-01 23:36:04 · answer #2 · answered by kweenie97 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you an adult? If so the the child/parent relationship is over. You are both now adults and you deserve the same respect. You admitted you forgot and said you were sorry. She's the one having a hissy. How long would you have been grounded if you pulled a stunt like that when you lived at home?
Now, if you're not an adult, and you live at home, you might want to check the attitude. Then get a calender and count the days till you can be on your own, because living with a person with anger management issues can be a real challenge.
2007-03-01 22:38:29 · answer #3 · answered by littleredhen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that you disrespected your mother, but I do believe that sometimes we have to be the grown ups. Your mom hanging up on you really upset you which caused you to call her back upset and escalated something that probably wouldn't have gotten that far if you would have never called her back. Who knows how her day was going before that or what else was on her mind. Nobody in this world is perfect and that includes parents. So we have to remember that even though it seems like it shouldn't be our job to be the mature one, in some instances if we aren't who will be. If you guys are still not talking, just take a deep breath and apologize to her even if you don't feel you were wrong. You only have one mother and you guys are missing out on each other over something small. Good Luck! :-)
2007-03-01 22:46:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may seem like a huge fight right now, but look at the big picture ... it will blow over. As you get older, these things will happen less and less.
Just hang in there. She may have a serious anger problem, but think about the main source of where anger comes from - STRESS ... probably has nothing to do with you directly - you are just a convenient outlet for her anger.
2007-03-02 00:12:56 · answer #5 · answered by Advice Please 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well.. there are so many things that can be said....
well......being that you know your mom has anger issues...did you do everything possible to not make her yell...or did you add fuel to the fire?
you mom asked you to do something for her.....maybe she was having a bad day ( hey parents have a lot of stress too you know) she had a bad day..and you not doing what she asked of you just made it worse....
now... i hang up on people all hte time...well to my husband...it is the most rude thing you can do.... but if she said bye..and she hung up....that might have been a hint to you that she was trying to let it go and she hung up to NOT fight with you and she just wanted to go on with her day or calm down whatever... you calling her back just aggrivated her because here she was forgetting about something you were suppose to do...and you are calling her back saying she was rude and how she hung up on you and you are telling her she is nasty to you...but you were disresectful first by not doing what she asked of you... i am sure she does a lot to keep the family going.. i am sure she has a lot of stress...and a lot of adults dont' really like to hear...especially from their kids, that they are nasty and what not...they feel they kinda have a right..being that they have a lot of major stress...is that right? no... you deserve to be treated with respect as well...and i try to respect my kids..but i hope you can realize all hte factors around your mom... talk it out with her..and just dont' add fuel to the fire..if you know something is going to piss her off..then dont' do it..i wish you luck..
2007-03-02 01:10:02 · answer #6 · answered by bimmer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh, YES....you are wrong! You have a problem with your age and hormones at the moment and I will tell you what I told my own kids: "you can THINK anything you want about me (or anyone else), just don't let it come out of your mouth".
You should respect your mother. You get one. When you're old enough to get out of the house and on your own; when you have children, you will understand. In the meantime, you need her...BIG TIME! So...do yourself a favor: save the "drama" for something else, don't unload it on the one person who will love you no matter what. Tell her you're sorry and you love her and you'll try not to let it happen again. Go on....do it!!! You will never regret it. Godloveya.
2007-03-01 22:29:07 · answer #7 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes and No. The thing is that you should let it rest for a while and let mom "simmer down". Then, a day later, buy her her favourite food or chocolate as a gesture that you care. Don't start to talk about the quarrel but focus on what you can do for her instead. Good luck.
2007-03-01 22:29:41 · answer #8 · answered by happy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes you were wrong. You should not have called her back. You should have left it be and not created an argument. She hung up abruptly because she was upset, or maybe she was driving or maybe she was busy.
It doesn't seem like your mom has an anger problem. You called her back to continue a pointless argument. She has every right to be upset.
2007-03-01 23:13:40 · answer #9 · answered by Samantha 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it is hard being a mother.your not wrong! she has to be able to accept you are grown up and have the right to speak your mind as well , even if it is not what she wants to hear.and you as well should just hold your tongue and listen to her. in a joking way say something back and act like it didnt happen. keep calling on a regular basis so you dont get that distance in between you because it makes it harder to repair the relationship. a great mother is forgiving!
2007-03-01 22:48:10 · answer #10 · answered by florence p 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋