Can I start to establish a sleep routine with my toddler?

Question

Ok, since she was a v.young baby my daughter has slept with me and dad. At the time it was difficult to set up a sleep routine for her cos we were all living in a studio flat, so sending her to bed wasnt possible as she would still be in same room with us. Anyway we are now in a much larger flat but my 15 month old daughter has no routine. Problem is I listened to hubby who assured me she would fall into her routine by herself, but she hasnt (stupid me). She has one / two naps during the day but at night she wiill only sleep for 2-3 hours unless one of us sleeps with her. If we arent there she wakes up adn then it will be another 4 hours before she is sleepy again!! So sometimes if i need to stay up late, i have to allow her to stay up with me. Sometimes she stays up till 3 in the morning. Please some advice. Can I introduce a sleep routine at 15 months? If so, how? She is now very accustomed to sleeping in bed, cuddling up to us etc she not used to the cot. Please help!!

Answer 1

Ahhh, sleep...the bane of every parent with a child under 3. We co-slept with my first until she was 6 months and then tried to establish an independent sleep routine for her. Basically, it was a form of crying-it-out method, and within a few days, she was sleeping straight through from 7 p.m. to 5 a.m. Then, we gradually got her sleeping 7 to 7. But for eight long months, she would cry every night when we put her to bed (but only for about 10 or 15 minutes.) We really felt that in that first six months we had trained her to sleep only with someone physically near. With my second, we decided co-sleeping was not the best for us, given our experience with our daughter, and tried really hard not to do it with my son. Although there were nights....but he has been a MUCH better sleeper! And I think it is because we established a more independent routine earlier with him. Anyway, two things I must share with you:

1) I read a recent (January, I think) article in the NY Times about a rather large sleep study on infants to 2 years old. The study found that ALL children learned to sleep on their own with ALL methods parents used. In other words, all the methods worked. The critical factor in whether it was easy or hard was how consistent the parents were in applying the method they chose. So, as long as you are unfailingly consistent, try whatever method you are most comfortable with. The study said the easiest method was when parents put newborns down to sleep while drowsy but still awake and in their own crib alone. You are beyond that (as were we). The hardest, for the parents, was the cry-it-out methods, but that worked in the shortest amount of time.

2) Buy a copy of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. I can't tell you how many times I borrowed this book until I finally wised up and bought it. It is by far the BEST book on children's sleep I have ever read. And it goes from infancy to teenagers, so you'll be referring back to it for years. It's great. It will help you to be reading it when you are in the midst of tearful discussion with your spouse on whether to go in to your daughter or wait another 10 minutes as she wails....We have ALL been there....

The main thing to keep in mind, and one of the main points of the book, is that good, quality, unfragmented sleep is crucial to children's mental, physical and emotional development. Infants, toddlers and young children are not able to do what is best for them. It is natural for them to want to stay up 24 hours a day if they could to explore and play; they would also eat only sugar and candy if it was left up to them. It is up to you to make sure she gets what she NEEDS (not what she wants) for her own health and wellbeing.

Good luck!!

Answer 2

Yes you can start a routine. The most important thing is to be consistent by all caregivers. Start out with her and each night leave her byself increasing the intervals. While you are with her introduce a cuddle toy like a teddy bear to give her the comfort she gets from you. Whatever you chose for that have more than one in case it gets lost or left somewhere. When you do leave her bed stay with her in her room where she can see you and gradually increase the distance away from her. With my son and sleep the routine I did took 45 minutes initially and gradually I decreased to a point where we do not have to do much at all. Now he will often times walk to his bedroom when it is bedtime.
Also when she wakes up, keep her in her bed and/or bedroom. Do not make it fun, no TV or toys. Repeat you bedtime routine and that may help her fall alseep. This change will be difficult for both of you at first, but in the long run the benefits will be outstanding. If you are both consitent and stick to your guns she may be independent within a few months and bedtime can be a great bonding experience.
The idea of a routine is to calm them down from the excitement of the day and to teach their bodies it is time to sleep. Think of what you do before bed and how much of it is a routine.

good luck

Answer 3

There are books that will help you. Your public library will likely have many of these books, so you can get read them for free. Look in the non-fiction section, call numbers 618.92 or 649.12. Each book will have a slightly different approach and one might work better for you than others. I would highly recommend Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth.

You can also watch episodes of SuperNanny or Nanny 911 on TV. They usually deal with a problem like this by putting her in her own crib/cot/bed and telling her goodnight. If she gets up, just keep putting her back without saying a word. She is going to cry, becuase she doesn't know how to go to sleep on her own. She'll learn within a few days, but you have to be willing to hear the crying.

Educate yourself by reading some books first and then you'll get lots of specific ideas.

Answer 4

Gosh i feel really sorry for you but this is not impossible. It will just take time but you need to stick to it and NOT GIVE IN. Trust me, please!

When my child was 17 months she wouldn't go to bed on her own and when she woke she would want to go in our bed so i have kind of been in your situation.

Start by setting a bedtime. I would suggest to start with 8pm seeing as how she is used to staying up late (ideally you want it to be at about 7.30pm). At about 6.30pm give her some supper, then at 7ish run her a bath. Get her pj's on and then take her into her bedroom. Lay her in her bed and explain that it is nightime and that it is time for sleep and that you are there. Walk out of the room and sit somewhere where she can see you. She will cry but just gently reassure her that you are still there but under no circumstances let her get out of bed. She will eventually go to sleep - i will be honest it might take about an hour and it will be really hard listening to her cry but the first couple of nights will be the hardest. If she wakes during the night do not let her get in your bed or you are giving her mixed signals. After a few nights (maybe even a week) you will notice it doesn't take as long. Once you feel you have progressed try moving out of sight - i used to use this time to do my ironing in my bedroom - when she cried i just used to pop my head round door and explain i was still there was just doing my ironing. Do this for a few weeks and she will I PROMISE YOU get used to it and you will find that the night waking will have nearly stopped. Once you have tackled that still tell her that you are doing your ironing but maybe pop downstairs - i presume in a flat you'd still hear her? if not get a baby monitor.

On top of this you will also need to cut down her naps during the day. I suggest one nap, no later than 1pm of no more than an hour - she might be crabby at teatime but thats good - its cos she's tired!!

My heart really goes out to you, it is really hard but trust me the hard work will pay off! My eldest daughter is 2.5 now and still goes to bed a dream.

Hope this helps xx

Answer 5

Yes. Start a routine, stick to it every nignt. A 15 month old will learn the routine - and with a routine will be a very happy baby, we have learned.

Kids will do what you allow them to. If you put your foot down, your life will be better. You don't HAVE to allow her to do anything. You ARE allowing her.

Further, you are just going to have to let her cry at night. It will only last 3 or 4 nights. We had to do that with our first...

Answer 6

You've made a rod for your own back letting her kip with you. But be firm when you do get her into her own bed. First leave some light on so she's not scared. Then (as I seen on Supernanny), be patient.

No matter how much she plays up or keeps getting out of bed, take her back without losing your temper. She should soon get the message and settle into it. I know it worked for the kids on the telly. Nice touch, read to her till she falls asleep anyway.

I used to play a game with my own daughter when she was little I used to sit down with a book next to her bed. Open it really nice. Say "Once upon a time...

...The end."

It drove her nuts. Even though she laughed... ha : )

Answer 7

first you have to cut out the hours she sleeps in the day this is the problem if she is getting most of the sleep she needs in the day its hardly surprising she not tired of a night time. this is a great age to start kids of in their own beds. you have to be consistant though. you could completely change this in a week. start by bathtime before bed. do not rush this a nice warm bath with play toys and mummy will relax her. spend time dressing her in her own room. tell her she going to sleep in big girls bed now. put her in her bed and read a short story before laeving the room. if your child comes out of the bed put her back without talking and reasoning with her. you may have to do this many many times each night but within a week if you stay consistant your child will be sleeping in her own bed without problem.

Answer 8

wow, u will b lucky if they sleep without u, i brought my first born home at 3 days, buy 7 days he slept at fixed times on his own, and was the same for my second son. both kids..eldest now 3 go to are bathed and in bed for 7.30....no questions asked and no tantrums. try stopping her sleeping so much in the day so at around 8pm she will be tired and even sit in the room with her to begin with while she adjusts. i really do wish u all the luck in the world.

Answer 9

properly i could could desire to assert commence on a Friday night that way he has some days to get use to it in the previous Sunday night rolls around. As for making it a greater advantageous transition, I desire i could desire to help slightly greater yet i think of it fairly is rather going to be a undertaking because of the fact basically like bottles, pacifiers ect. the longer they have something the greater they get linked, and that they only suggestion i will furnish in this section could be placed him in his very own room and don't supply up.perhaps purchase him a filled animal that he can take to mattress with him to inspire him slumbering in his very own mattress.

Answer 10

I guess you should start trying. It is about the right age to get a routine going if you can, but avoid upsets, it is not worth it