My parents are paying $3000 towards our wedding. That plus the money I can come up with by then is enough to cover everything but the photographer. I found a really good photographer for $875 which includes 8 hrs, engagement photos on a cd w/rights, up to 500 pics on dvd with rights, 250 4X6, 2 8X10s, etc. The husband and wife run the business out of their home, but they are very good. Anyways, my fiance's mom said originally that she paid for catering and stuff for his sister's wedding and she would try to help. Then, he asked her the other day if she would want to pay for the photographer I found. She said she would look around, too. Then today he told me she said she would pick one out and pay for it but it will be of her choice, not ours. She is very cheap too meaning she will probably hire a student or something. Is this normal for a person to say or is she just trying to create problems? (she has tried to plan the whole thing and not let me have any say...
2007-03-01 13:58:55 · 8 answers · asked by goaliegirl87 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
My parents and I went ahead and are doing our own thing and trying to just avoid her, and yes my fiance is getting a say in stuff....but he is being pulled in opposite directions (his mom vs. me)
2007-03-01 14:00:35 · update #1
Yeah it is kind of normal for the MOG to act that way. I don't know what it is about mother's and their sons. They just can't seem to let go! Don't pay her any mind just go on planning like you're doing. But if you can ask her to at least pay half for the photographer you want.
2007-03-01 14:18:10 · answer #1 · answered by Justyn's Mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask her how much she would like to contribute toward the wedding/photographer and put that toward the photographer of your choice. Then figure out a way to come up with the rest. Photos are one place you don't want to skimp as you will have them forever. If she doesn't want to do that, then let it be (and make sure she's in as few photos as possible!). Best Wishes.
2007-03-02 00:22:35 · answer #2 · answered by stseukn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry that you're having problems, is your FI an only child? Hopefully the MOG isn't intentionally trying to be difficult. Maybe she's very traditional and is stuck on the idea that the bride's family pays for the wedding? So she's trying to be economical?
The price you found sounds pretty good...maybe you could try to go with her when she looks around elsewhere and she'll realize you have a good deal?
2007-03-01 23:12:19 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, since it is her money, she can pay for a photographer she picks if she chooses. There really is no way to really determine what the motives of her actions are. It could be to find a way to control an aspect of your wedding or could be simply to know what her money is paying for. Regardless of her motives, if you'd rather have a say in your photographer then I'd recommend you have your fiance inform his mother that while you appreciate her gesture, the two of you have found other arrangements for your photographer and find a way to pay for it yourselves or with the help of your parents.
2007-03-01 22:13:34 · answer #4 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She gets to pick if she's paying. The obvious choice is to pay for your own photographer and avoid the conflict.
2007-03-01 23:40:29 · answer #5 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
control war find a relative to take pictures for you; tell her NO ;professional Dont let her take control or you will have to fight her all your life. Pay your own way. make your own plans and tell her very firmly what your plans are and set limits on her right NOW, you cant afford this marriage if you cant do that
2007-03-01 22:40:10 · answer #6 · answered by Nora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is your wedding not hers. talk to the photographer that you chose and see if they will work with you on the fee. maybe pay in installments. if they do this out of their home they will want your business and want to help. congrats on your marriage and good luck with your mil to be.
2007-03-01 22:06:08 · answer #7 · answered by lynnie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"He who pays the piper calls the tune." You and your man should be paying for the wedding yourselves. Since you are not, you are at the benefactor's mercy and whims.
2007-03-02 07:11:50 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋