To not go for 'romantic love' but mutual and more spiritual love with someone who is your friend and companion. What do you think? I think that is much better.
2007-03-01 13:06:33 · 13 answers · asked by fslcaptain737 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Both kinds of marriages are great, and they both carry risks.
You cannot say one is better than the other. However, your idea has some real merits, especially when it comes to mutual respect and communication between partners.
Also, many people become friends because there is an attraction or something other that is very special between them.
2007-03-01 15:15:44 · answer #1 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You need to be friends first & foremost, for anything romantic to work out. If you love each other, but do not like each other, you are headed for disaster as life partners, who plan on sharing time, space, intimacy, money, love, and your lives in general.
As a matter of fact, if your relationship is all about "love", and not "like", it may not be love at all, but a need, a dependancy or unhealthy addiction to the other party--filling a spiritual void in your own life with another human being to "fix" you.
Some of my best friends have been of the opposite sex, and even though the opportunity & mutual attraction was there, I refused to let the relationship go "romantic" or "sexual", because only one of two things can happen from there:
a) You fall in love WITH EACH OTHER, get married, & live happily ever after until Kingdom come. Or,
b) It does not really work out for one or both of you, that part of the relationship ends, and even if the rest of your time together is NOT uncomfortable, strange, weird or confusing--once a third [dating] party steps into the picture, one of you becomes "the ex", and thus a threat to the newcomer, which can end the relationship altogether. Then you have lost a good friend, all for the sake of something that was never meant to be.
I have had friends that were of the opposite sex who were near & dear to me, that I was unwilling to take a chance on item #b being what was played out. Though still curious how it would have went, I am glad we kept our clothes on, because now I am great friends with her AND her husband!
2007-03-01 21:29:59 · answer #2 · answered by grapejuice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This doesn't exclude romantic love. But if your romantic love isn't your best friend by the time you marry her, she should be afterwards. It's the only way to go. The two go hand in hand for a good marriage. If you marry your best friend, you better be prepared to romance her. Romance can be deliberate, can be cultivated and grow. So can friendship, but between the two you'd better have a good friendship first. It's harder to grow that afterwards if you haven't gone in with it already. The reason married sex is best is because you want to please a friend. So does your friend.
2007-03-01 21:20:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think they are opposed to each other. They go together.
My wife is the biggest romantic love I have ever had and also the best friend I have ever had.
I wouldn't do without either one. Romance fades, so if you don't have the memory of when it was white hot, it can seem intolerable to be stuck with somebody. And it is CRUCIAL that your spouse be a very close friend.
2007-03-01 22:26:08 · answer #4 · answered by Curt Monash 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm like you.I don't care for the whole dramatic deep romantic love,though it's great in movies.I'm a laid back guy,so I prefer its foundation on a great friendship,and to build it up slow.There's usually a risk with dating friends though.If it doesn't work out,it often sours the friendship.It can also end one if it's not mutual.Although,I think if you love the person,it's well worth it.The best things in life usually have the biggest risks.
2007-03-01 21:14:10 · answer #5 · answered by cultureslum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends, always make better Lovers. Since, they're already Friends? There's littel chance that either one will do harm to the other. Love, Trust, blooms? Whalah!
2007-03-01 22:40:57 · answer #6 · answered by Goggles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would anyone marry someone just off the street?
Like going to Las Vegas and a ring, asking every woman in matrimony...
My wife is my best friend, confidente, lover, and soul mate. The relationship has its mountains and valleys but we endure...b/c we trust each other.
2007-03-01 23:00:09 · answer #7 · answered by n9wff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah it is. My boyfriend and I were BEST FRIENDS (I'm talking about spending everyday together and really actually talking) for a year before he asked me out. And it's lasting...and it feels like it'll last forever. :)
Yes that is the best kind. You know about eachother, you trust eachother, you communicate, all the things you need for a real relationship. And the kind that work. :)
2007-03-01 21:11:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i do not believe your spouse can be your best friend.It is just a nice thing to say,but honestly,can this really happen?when the both of you have problems who can u go to for a listening ear?and if your spouse knew everything about you as does your best friend,then you would not have a spouse.
2007-03-01 23:09:26 · answer #9 · answered by PJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you have both? Maybe this spiritual relationship will evolve into everything you want.
2007-03-01 22:51:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋